Superhost spotlight: filling a home with life after loss

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Superhost spotlight: filling a home with life after loss

Superhost Marianne suddenly found herself alone in the craftsman she and her late husband renovated together. To pick herself up, she launched her own business, opening her California home to guests from across the world. In her own words, she shares how hosting gave her life new meaning and what it means to be a female entrepreneur:

 

There was something beneficial about having life, having humans coming back into the house.

 

When I lost Mike, there was such a huge sense of loss, emptiness, a void. He had gone into surgery in May of 2017 for what was supposed to be a standard procedure, but there were complications and he didn’t make it. Four days before this, we had just celebrated 26 years together.

 

My daughter had moved home to stay with me. Almost a year later, she moved away and all of a sudden, I found myself alone in the house.

 

I don’t remember a specific incident or reason why I started hosting. It just kept showing up in my awareness. And then I took a trip in September of 2017 to see friends in Oregon, and I stayed in an Airbnb there. The host was a lovely fellow, and I explained what had happened. It started to dawn on me that being a host could be a possibility for me.

 

With my husband’s death, his pension ended and that was a big loss of income. I work for myself as a teacher, writer, and landscaper. I just wasn’t in a place where I could focus.

 

In my imagination, Airbnb was a source of easy-peasy cash flow. But it is work. And definitely being a single woman, I did have concerns about safety. I bought locks for the guest rooms and my room, but I think I’ve only locked my door once when there was a fellow checking in very late at night. A friend of mine who is also a host suggested I write the description of my home to attract the people I want here, and so far it seems to have worked. Maybe it’s naive, but I have a certain trust that for the most part, people are good.

 

Meet Marianne.png

 

Hosting became a way to be a little less of a hermit. It became a reason why I had to keep the house clean, a reason why I put on a brave face. You have to pick yourself up a little bit. Those were all good things.  

 

I remember Mike with each person who comes in. It’s both saddening and empowering.

 

He loved working on this house. He was a carpenter. When we bought the house in 1995, it was trashed, a fixer-upper, and he made it such a beautiful place to live. In some ways, I get to experience his spirit, his energy when people come into the house, notice the woodwork, and say, “Oh, wow.”

 

I feel so proud. I feel it for both of us. How lovely it is that I can share that.

 

In the beginning, I would tell guests I had just lost my husband. Then bit by bit, it was no longer the first thing I shared.

 

I’ve been incredibly blessed with the guests I’ve had. Since I live in Santa Monica, they wanted to go to the beach, to the pier, and to Venice, so I didn’t really see them. I still needed lots of space and lots of quiet, so it was perfect.

 

Occasionally, we would chat over a cup of coffee or sit out on the porch swing with a glass of wine and the ocean breeze. Some of the guests were just lovely people to talk to. It was a reminder that life goes on, as cliche as it sounds.

 

Meet Marianne 2.png

 

One guest was a young woman. I hadn’t mentioned that Mike had died, but maybe she noticed his pictures around the house. She told me that she had lost her boyfriend a few months earlier in an accident. So I found myself in this incredible place of being able to open up not just the house, but a space for her to talk about her loss with someone who understood. And for me, she was someone I could talk about Mike with. There was common ground, an incredible synchronicity. We’ve texted a few times. She may or may not come back, but for a little while we touched each others lives.

 

As hosts, we share space, but sometimes it’s a place where we share so much more.

 

In opening up my home, I was able to give something even when I felt so depleted.

 

Now I have my own business. And there is so much to be said about being your own boss and having complete say over how your life evolves. There’s a real sense of power a woman feels when she’s running her own business.

 

It may sound a little woo-woo to people, but there’s something so sacred about welcoming a stranger. As hosts, we serve as guides to weary travelers. And when we are aching, hurt, and lonely, that interaction and connection provides a little bit of healing.

 

Photos courtesy of Marianne

89 Replies 89
Julia1041
Level 2
Eldoret, Kenya

Thanks to her opening doors to Airbnb, it has changed her life to be lively and am so happy for her.

Susan1403
Level 2
Lytham Saint Annes, United Kingdom

I vey much enjoyed reading your post.  I took early retirement to look after my husband who died almost 3 years ago and finding it difficult financially, Airbnb have helped me to earn a little cash to help me keep

my head above water and also I have met some nice people along the way.

Jason497
Level 2
Gothenburg, Sweden

Thanks for sharing Marianne. An inspiring story with so many touch points for us readers to resonate with... one or several. Stay strong. 

Sarah517
Level 2
Henley-on-Thames, United Kingdom

What a deeply moving story.

Funny how airbnb comes into some  peoples lives when they need it.

When I discovered airbnb, I was lonely and finacialy struggling.

In the two years that I've been hosting I've met so many lovely people and made several lasting friends as well as improving my finacial circumstances.

Marianne, thank you for sharing with us all and I wish you the very best of eveything for the future.

If you feel like a trip to Henley on Thames you'd be so welcome.

S

Thanks for sharing Marianne, so many things I can relate to after loosing my husband 2 years ago. Inspiring story and like you said, something sacred about welcoming strangers. Good luck!

Air BnB has given a lot of us opportunities to become Independent, a little more financially secure and to meet some lovely people from all walks of life. It gives you a focus when life is tough.

I believe in general too most people are trustworthy and good and haven't had any issues with guests.

Well done Marianne. You deserve to be happy.

Thank you for your story. It takes courage to speak from your heart. It heals and helps someone like  me. I am yet to host but i was thinkingk of my safety. My children live away from home.

Thank you for story.

Hi Doris,

 

It looks like you’re hosting now, so congratulations, and I hope it’s going well!

 

I had locks installed on each guest room door which makes everyone feel better. Some don’t want to bother using, but happy to have one in my door!

 

how are you liking the hosting?

 

I have minimum stay requirements so it’s less likely to be someone who wants to party or bother anything, and less tiring to have less times I’m changing sheets etc.

I also find if someone stays with us at least two or three nights, there’s more of a chance of forming some kind of friendly connection even if it’s just coming and going and saying hello.

 

I have also found that I can attract the kind of guest we like by saying certain things, like this is not a sterile hotel but an affordable way to stay in a nice area, etc.

 

I also imply that our guests are busy 

“you won’t miss having a TV if you’re as busy as the majority of our guests, who are mostly here to shower and sleep”.

 

this way the house is quieter and we do have some privacy.

Virginia329
Level 2
Valroufié, France

Well done Marianne - inspiring and heartening.

Love this woman,I can relate to being single, alone and what a blessing Airbnb is. 

Michelle1472
Level 2
Limavady, United Kingdom

Hi Marianne, I am going through the same. I lost my husband , Charlie in 2016. The airbnb has helped bring me out of myself and it is challenging because I am always trying to think of how to maintain and improve it. And the people I have met are such lovely people. Well done .Your story resonates with me and it is very inspiring too. Thanks.

 Best wishes for the future, Michelle, Ballyleaghery, Limavady, Northern Ireland

Michael2824
Level 2
Massachusetts, United States

God bless,Thank you.

Nina95
Level 2
Brunswick, ME

"...there’s something so sacred about welcoming a stranger. As hosts, we serve as guides to weary travelers. And when we are aching, hurt, and lonely, that interaction and connection provides a little bit of healing." EXACTLY! So wonderful that you state this in the conclusion of your moving and candid piece. I feel the same way, and the tradition of hospitality and welcoming not just family and friends but the stranger, is not only ancient and beautiful, but also what I believe is at the core of the AirBnB hosting expereince.

 

Sadly, with property managers handling multiple, inpersonal proerties and absent hosts who never meet their guests, I believe a key essence of the hospitality expereince is lost.  

Fancy3
Level 2
Atlanta, GA

You are wonderful to share your story Marianne. Human connectedness is so valuable.  You displayed that so eloquently in your story.  Thank you!

Carmen749
Level 2
New York, NY

I could almost identify with Marianne on so many levels. Thanks so much for sharing this story. Blessings!