Issues with male guests

[Priyanka44]

I am new to hosting. I’ve had issues with being an Airbnb guest in the past and having male hosts who have tried to harass or assault me. For this reason, when I first started hosting I only allowed female guests in the house. For the first time ever I allowed a male guest in the house. Things went fine for the most part. He was clean, respectful, quiet, but I noticed that after the second day he started texting me good morning in the morning. I thought of it as weird and ignored it. Well, he checked out today and he sends me a message thanking me for allowing me to stay at my house. He said he enjoyed the conversation and my company. I never hung out with this person. I don’t hang out with strangers, but I welcomed him into my shared home. I gave him suggestions on the area. He went on to describe how I looked in shorts the other day and how it made him feel. He told me that he wanted to hug me on the way out (among other things), but stopped himself because he didn’t know how I feel about this. He then proceeded to ask me out in that same text.

I already filed a complaint with the Airbnb but I haven’t escalated it. The reason I’m posting here as I’m wondering if other female hosts have had similar issues? What is my obligation here to other hosts in terms of writing a review? If it were up to me I would write in a review that female hosts who live alone should not allow such a person to stay. 

[Priyanka44]

Also it is okay to put a disclaimer in my house manual that states being friendly and a good host is my business model? Not an indication of personal interest! I feel like this should be common sense and common courtesy, right?

[Debra300]

@Priyanka44,

Since you are home-sharing you have the right to state that only female guests will be approved to stay with you.  Please note that you should consult your local laws regarding gender self-identification, and your and their rights regarding access to publicly available accommodations.  If you continue to host, turn off instant booking if it's enabled, and ensure that you have a good written conversation with any potential guest who sends you a booking request.  Follow your instincts in determining if the person will be a good fit for you and your shared space.

[Priyanka44]

Hey, thank you! I did not know this was an option. I figured that it would violate equal housing opportunity laws had I posted that. I appreciate this.

[Sarah977]

@Priyanka44  Good that you reported him to Airbnb. Yes, do mention it in the review. Just say you felt very uncomfortable with inappropriate comments he made to you and that you wouldn't recommend him for shared spaces with female hosts. But do mention that he was clean and quiet and otherwise a good guest. Some guys just still don't "get it" and need some educating. But that's not really a host's job, unless you want to. At least he just said this stuff in a message- I've read of female hosts having male guests actually try to hug or kiss them.

I am also a single female host and do host both male and female guests. All my male guests, and I've had quite a few, have been total gentlemen, really sweet guys.  But I'm an older woman- it could easily be more of an issue for younger women.

You can't specify gender in an entire house listing but when you are sharing the home where you live with guests, you can.

[Marie6762]

Yes, for exactly the reasons/situation you describe.  And many solo female travelers will be very grateful for your safe, clean and very attractive space!

Now:  raise your rates!  I’m in SF Bay and most guests rate my comparable room 5-star value- and it only has a private (en-suite) commode and sink .  Guests have to walk through the dining room (common space) and (kitchen is not an included amenity) to get to our bathroom, to the shared shower.  

Experienced hosts all warn not to be the cheapest 😉     Although I absolutely agree, do your research as you raise them:  I lost a star for value from 1/5 guests when I went from $55-60, so $55 it is!

I will certainly stay with you when I come to D.C. again- even at $55!

[Brian2036]

@Priyanka44 

I think you would be very wise to specify that you only accept women.

You should never have to be uncomfortable in your own home.