Problems with hosting to families with young children?

[Rich-and-Yan0]

Hi hosting community,

My wife and I have been hosts since August 2019 and have had far more pleasant experiences with guests than unpleasant ones. However, a recurring problem we have encountered--which seems to be getting worse with each passing year--is that guests who come to our villa with small children are almost always the ones who leave our place damaged.

Here are some examples: we have had multiple guests whose children have drawn pictures with markers or crayons on our white walls, light-coloured curtains or even our white sofa. One recent guest wrote to tell us that there were "some problems with the door handles," which we thought was odd. Then, after they had checked out, we found that not one, but THREE door handles had been broken off the doors--and one was so badly damaged that we had to replace it entirely.

Then, our latest guest took the master key, the main one that locks the doors thoroughly from the inside (and of which we only had one copy), off of the large keychain that we kept it on for safety because her daughter "kept wanting to play with the keychain." We asked why they couldn't have just kept the key in a high place where the child couldn't reach it, but they never gave us an answer.

And then they lost the key. Our worst fear. The very reason that we had put the key on the big keychain was so that it couldn't be easily lost or misplaced--and then they lost it. Of course, they claim that they didn't lose it and that it was on the table with the back-up key when they left. But when we found only a broken keychain and no key, then we knew with quite a bit of certainty that the child had probably broken the keychain and the key got lost in the process. 

Anyway, we have been watching a continuous cycle of parents--and especially parents with only one young child--coming to our property, doing damage, and then claiming that they don't know what happened. Indeed, we've had far more problems with guests of this kind than with any other guests that we have rented to. 

What I want to know is how many of our fellow hosts have stopped renting to parents with young children--say, under the age of 6. We have heard that it is possible to set this as a prerequisite on your Airbnb hosting profile, and so we are curious if there are any hosts out there who have done this and what their experience has been since doing so. 

We would be grateful for any related feedback you could share with us. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

@Rich-and-Yan0   The Nondiscrimination Policy is a bit muddled on this, but here's the official text on age restrictions:

Age and Familial Status

• Airbnb hosts may not:
  • Impose any different terms or conditions or decline a reservation based on the guest’s age or familial status, where prohibited by law.

• Airbnb hosts may:
  • Provide factually accurate information about their listing’s features (or lack of them) that could make the listing unsafe or unsuitable for guests of a certain age or families with children or infants.
  • Note in their listings applicable community restrictions (e.g., senior housing), regulations, or laws that prohibit guests under a particular age or families with children or infants.

That "where prohibited by law" could be your escape hatch in a dispute, but still I'd be careful about setting prerequisites in your listing that could get flagged as discriminatory. A mere complaint is enough to get a listing temporarily suspended, even if the "investigation" finds that no rules were broken.

Following the advisory to the letter, what you might say in the listing instead is that your home features aren't safe or suitable for children under 6. Meanwhile, if you can get sufficient business from adult groups, you can remove all the listed mentions of "family" amenities that are targeted at those with young children, and limit the sleeping spaces to just the 2 King beds. That wouldn't prevent families with little ones from booking, but it would signify that your elegant home is not a Chuck E Cheese and you expect children to be fully supervised at all times. 

[Rich-and-Yan0]

@Anonymous Thank you for the information--spot on, as always. Yes, we didn't know if this would be legal, ethical or even permitted, and so that's why we decided to reach out to the hosting community to see what their/your feedback on the matter would be.

Anyway, you have given us something to think about in terms of the "family" angle in our listing. We already have most of this year booked and we know that we have more families coming, but perhaps for next year, we can remove anything in our listing that alludes to it being family-friendly. 

And I have to tell you, that will be a real shame. We both like kids and have worked so hard to make our property a good place for families to have their holiday. But as we said at the start of this post, what we are noticing again and again is that families with small children--and those with ONLY ONE SMALL CHILD in particular--are almost always our worst guests. We have had more problems with, and damage done by, those guests than with or by guests from any other age or marital status category.

Thanks again. 

[Laura2592]

@Rich-and-Yan0 I would make clear in your reservation that this listing us unsuitable for kids under a certain age and start screening for people to follow this guidance. The reasons must be stated as @Anonymous pointed out. I would start by listing safety features (doors without safety locks, etc) and  uncheck the child friendly box. Families will still try to book so if you are on Instant Book now, you may think about taking your listing off of that too to give yourself more time to vet.  

We did not allow under 3s for insurance reasons-- we had very steep stairs in our last place and could not trust parents to mind their children appropriately. If your insurance is an out, use that as a reason as well. Be prepared-- no matter how unsafe we disclosed our space was for a toddler, we STILL had parents that insisted they book. You would do well to have some automated messages which are carefully worded in those situations. 

ETA-- is there a safer place to keep your irreplaceable master key? My experience with guests is that if its in their space, they will make sure to mess with it. 

[Rich-and-Yan0]

@Laura2592 Thank you for your detailed feedback as well. We had been keeping the master key on the hat rack, which is so high up that no child could ever reach it, and don't understand why these parents wouldn't do the same. It is too large for the lockbox and it wouldn't make sense for guests to put it back in there after they had opened the door. 

Your advice on the insurance policy is golden. We will have to look it over and see if we can use that as an "out"--though as you say, some people will still insist on booking anyway. We may also look into removing the Instant Book feature. We'll need to go back and look at the emails on Airbnb to see how many parents have used that feature so far this year, and if it has often been parents, then we will talk about removing it. 

Thanks again. Oh, and here's a shot of where we had been keeping the master key before this and what is used to look like before the keychain was destroyed and the key lost. 

[Basha0]

Previously I put in my description no crawling babies or toddlers due to steep interior stairs. Last guest didn’t read and had a two year old. What’s wrong with people?  when I said something I was told that toddlers are under the age of two. Incorrect.

[Rich-and-Yan0]

@Basha0 Yes, we know from experience that people often don't read the listing very thoroughly. Even on our photos, which all have descriptions under them, one of the very first ones is a photo of the communal pool with the caption, "View of the communal pool from our terrace." You wouldn't how many potential guests have asked us how far the pool is away from our villa, without ever haven taken the time to have read the obvious. 

Thanks for your input. 🙂

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

@Rich-and-Yan0 

You are right, families with kids leave the biggest mess. I think that's because tired mothers are happy someone else will clean after them for a few days and they can take a rest from cleaning.

It also seems that nowadays kids pee in bed up to the age of 7. I don't know why but every family we hosted had at least one kid who peed in bed and parents never told us, some even tried to hide it.

My good friend is running 9 Airbnbs and she says the same thing. My other friend works at the kid's daycare center and she also says kids are wearing diapers much longer than when we were kids.

It is not enough to just say "place is safe for kids", it should really be safe and we realized that after kids threw a large mirror from the wall and when they smashed the glass on the table. Luckily, nobody was hurt. It should also have a place for a cot, a high chair, a space to put a stroller, and the entrance wide enough to enter with it. It shouldn't have steep stairs or at least it should have a child-safe gate, plastic dishes, washable wall paint, a garden fence etc... all things which are not mentioned in Airbnb TOS copy/pasted by @Anonymous. Without all this, the place is not "suitable and safe for kids" so hosts shouldn't advertise it as family-friendly.

[Rich-and-Yan0]

@Branka-and-Silvia0 Thank you for your input. Actually, we do have pretty much everything you mentioned. We have a high chair, a baby bed, a place to put a stroller, etc. The one place where there had been potentially dangerous stairs, we put in a strong, child-safe gate.

We did all this because when we were new hosts, Airbnb recommended that we make the place as child-friendly as possible in order to increase our number of potential guests. And it worked, because bookings have been steady for almost one year straight. The problem, though, is the one with the neglectful parents that we have all been discussing and the damage their kids have been causing.

And we didn't realise the thing you said about kids wearing diapers until much later, but I guess that doesn't surprise me. There are, of course, still many responsible parents out there, but you only have to go out in public to any place where children are allowed to see that many other parents nowadays seem to let their children do whatever they want. And that's sad for the kids, because later they will be hit with a dose of "life's reality."

Thanks again.

[Robin4]

@Rich-and-Yan0  @Branka-and-Silvia0  @Laura2592  @Anonymous 

I must have been lucky, all the parents I have hosted with young children have been great, the parents have kept them under control and the kids from toddler age on have been lovely and interactive.

They all just love the dog.......

They love running around in the garden and they treat us as grandparents. There seems to be enough here to keep their interest without them resorting to destructive behaviour.

I am a bit proactive though in so much as I have a large chest of toys I bring out....left overs from when my grandies were here and that helps keep the kids out of trouble.

I would recommend to hosts to have a selection of toys on hand, not flash electronic stuff, but robust wooden toys or plastic puzzles. No soft toys either and .....definitely nothing with wheels that they can ride on. 

In fact I definitely prefer to host young families than elderly couples!!!

Cheers........Rob

[Rich-and-Yan0]

@Robin4 That's great to hear. For the record, we also keep a large variety of plastic toys on hand as well as a range of children's books, which seem to get used from what we can see. We're not there to supervise the listing as you are, however, and so that might be part of the reason for the difference between our place and yours. After all, if the owner is nearby, then perhaps the parents are more conscious of how their child behaves during their stay.

And in fairness, we have had good families as well. It's just that for some reason this past year, we have had a slew of families, all with a single young child, who have left our place damaged. This is, of course, more of a problem with the parents than the child, but it has been happening frequently enough to give us both concern and pause.

Anyway, you have all given us lots to think about for the coming year. Thank you for sharing.

[Willene1]

Was just searching for this same reason!  Have had 95% wonderful experiences with families, however these new guests who appeared very respectful,  even removing their shoes  at the door, are making me reconsider encouraging family stays. I’ve just removed all of the child friendly notes I had included. I am debating on checking “not suitable for children 2-12”.  
We rent out a large 2 bedroom suite in our daylight basement. The banging of doors and the sounds of things being dropped are making me very nervous.  The non stop running I can put up with but slamming doors makes me wonder what’s going on. Four more days before I can check the suite when they depart. I hope I’m worrying unnecessarily but I’m stressing. Keeping my fingers crossed.
I don’t want to ruin it for any “well behaved”families  Hard to request well behaved, respectful children only.  Tempted though. 

[Rich-and-Yan0]

Yes, we are going to have a good think about this before the next rental year. The problem with the "not suitable for children 2-12" is that it is such a wide range. Older children, ones who are at least 5 years old, have not been a problem for us so far. It is, as we said in the original post, the toddlers who seem to be causing the damage--especially toddlers who have no siblings.

I don't know what it is with parents these days, but they just don't seem to want to control their children or teach them good manners. We saw it ourselves recently while on holiday with some friends of ours, people whom we hold dear in our hearts, who have a boy who is about 3 1/2 years old. Whenever the child was being bratty or doing some really naughty things, the parents would say something like, "That's not nice," and it had zero effect on stopping the child from continuing to do what he'd been doing.

Anyway, this does not look like it's a problem that will go away easily. We're not allowed to ban people from renting our properties based on age as Airbnb considers this age discrimination, and the 2 to 12 age range related to suitability for children is just too broad, as it eliminates so many families with children who are more mature and generally better behaved. So sadly, we do not have any easy answers for you. If we did, then we would have them for ourselves as well.

Thanks for writing. 

[Willene1]

I decided to click on Not suitable for children 2-12 as well as Under 2. 
Then I switched to Travelling and searched for a place in my town that allowed 3 adults and 2 children and it still came up with my listing!!!   So not even sure what checking that category off even does!  

[Claudia3227]

We were facing the exact same challenge. A solution might be to write in the house rules for example “no children younger than six years old” and activate the function direct bookings only if the guest fulfills the house rules. If the guest can not meet the house rules the booking requires an approval by the host.