Sometimes the meaning gets lost in the words

[Robin4]

Tuesday this week was Ade's 77th birthday!  She has had MS since 1976, our girls, 50 and 48, have never known their mother without disability. Most sufferers are lucky to get 20 years, so we never thought we would make it this far together.

Despite that we have had a good life with the MS allowing us to live out most of our dreams. Here we were before this disease became a part of our lives.....

Every year she does deteriorate just a little bit more, and on her birthday we were reminiscing about the good times we have had, and she said to me...."I hope I die before you"!

I remembered reading something years ago and thought about that for a minute or so and said...."Yeah, I hope you do too"! 

She looked at me all indignant and said..."Do you really"?

I said...."You have had plenty of good times but, you have had to deal more than your fair share of challenges. I don't want you to have to go through the heartache and  added challenge of burying the one you have loved all these years and going home to an empty bed and try to contemplate what the future holds. If one of us has to go through that, I want it to be me! So.....yes, I hope you die first"!!

She knew what I meant and I think it was probably the nicest birthday present she got.

Cheers........Rob.

[Basha0]

oh I  so sorry for your loss!. Blessings to you and your  family

[Till-and-Jutta0]

So sorry to hear this, our feelings are with you, @Robin4 ! ❤️

[Robin4]

@Till-and-Jutta0  @Basha0 

Hey I have not titled this post well, we are both fine, over our recent bout of Covid, Tomorrow Ade is off to the East Coast to spend a couple weeks with the daughters and Grandies..It just came up in our conversation last Tuesday night, Ade said as a joke..."I will probably die before you do"!  Probably expecting me to say ....."No you will outlive me"! 

But I thought about that comment for a while and remembered what a lovely text I read some years ago and I thought it was appropriate so I just brought it into the conversation.

Trust me all is good, we are going well. Hopefully Admin will allow me to amend my post title what It was supposed to mean....sooner or later one of us will have to say goodbye, and when that times comes, I hope it's me and not her!

Cheers.........Rob.

[Cathie19]

@Quincy  @Bhumika - please allow the alteration of title. 

@Robin4 

Oh Robin! I just read this and felt my whole being fall… I was feeling empty and sad and about to send condolences. I understand @Till-and-Jutta0  & @Basha0  reacted the same.

Knowing Ade made this so personal, so yes, like the others, I read your thread with total sadness and dread.

BUT I’m SO SO glad to hear Ade is breathing, alive and well, AND  🎉🥳 celebrating her 77th birthday, visiting the girls and family. Don’t scare us Robyn! She has my permission to whack you one on her return!

🫶🏼🌻

[Joelle43]

Hello @Robin4 

You made my heart miss a beat there Robin when I read the title of your new post💔 so yes please get it changed otherwise you're going to get an outpouring of hosts who think you're leaving us!!

How generous of you to put Ade's comfort and well being before your own and such a thoughtful tribute to your sole mate😍

Long live Ade and Robin!

Joëlle

[Robin4]

@Joelle43 

Joëlle I have always put Ade before myself but, if the situation had been reversed she would have done the same for me. There have been challenges along the way, she lost her eyesight a couple of times to pressure on the optic nerve during an MS attack.......once for 6 weeks.

When you have to clean your partner when they have been to the toilet, you get to ponder just how much dignity does a person have to lose in this life.

But Joëlle, these things make you stronger, they make you that 'for better, for worse' partner you promised you would be on that special day.........

If I could have a re-run of my life, I wouldn't change a thing, it's been pretty bloody good just the way it has been!

And we are not done yet!

Cheers........Rob. 

[Frances3408]

@Robin4. Rob, you are very naughty to scare us all! Happy news after all that. 🙂 🙂 🙂

[Marisa182]

@Robin4Beautiful, Robin! And a very happy birthday to Ade with many happy returns of the day!💞

[Rebecca]

Hello @Robin4, 

What a wonderful tribute to your great love. 💛 Please give my best belated birthday wishes to Ade, I hope a lovely time on the East Coast with the family!

And of course, we'd be more than happy to update your post's title to avoid more hearts skipping beats thinking it means something it doesn't; let me know here what you'd like it updated to, or send me a Direct Message if you prefer, and I'll take care of it. 😊

[Robin4]

@Rebecca 

Hi Rebecca, thanks for responding, I should have put a bit more thought into that title.

I should have titled it to, 'Sometimes the meaning gets lost in the words'.

Every now and then you come across something you store away in your mind for the right moment. Obviously I don't want to lose Ade, and who knows what the future holds but it's inevitable that one of us is going to have to let the other go at some point, and as we age, it does play on your mind with increasing frequency.

When I explained, she understood, loved the thought, and I felt it would be nice to share it, there just doesn't seem to be enough love in the world at the moment!

Last thing I wanted to do was set off a wave of sympathy.....but maybe my decision making is not what it used to be Rebecca!!

Thanks.

Cheers.......Rob.

[Rebecca]

@Robin4 It was a lovely thought and it's an equally lovely thread, regardless of some of the misunderstandings here and there! Thank you for sharing it with us, I've updated the title for you now. 🌟