This is going to be a test where I hope I am right

This is going to be a test where I hope I am right

I have my first under 21 reservation. He's reserved for 6 and he's coming for a rap concert where he is performing. He sent me the poster which I forwarded to my son and asked him to forward to his friends.
I've never seen one good thing posted from a host about anyone under 25. I'm hoping to change that but don't think I don't know there might be a universal reason for that. Also, I have musicians in my family and lost the last one to covid in August so I'm a bit sensitive to that. 

Oh, and when I told him that part of my welcome basket included local wine - he volunteered he wasn't 21.
I am comfortable with him, but I don't know who the other 5 people are. And does one make sure those other 5 are going to follow the rules?
So after much thought I sent a follow up message telling him how impressed I am with him, that I've sent his poster for the gig to my son and had him forward it, and that I'm looking forward to proving so many people wrong that under 25 rappers are responsible.
I also followed up with advice that he should cya by realizing that while he may be very responsible, he should understand that if his friends aren't - it comes out of his $500 deposit.
I probably did more massaging in the message than any of you would've done, but keep in mind that an aspiring musician regardless of their choice of music is something I've grown up with. I do believe I've covered my ass with the details. Not sure what the guest will think after reading it.
I'll keep you posted because I can't be the only one wondering how this one is going to go. I hope it's going to go my way obviously lol.

29 Replies 29

Oh, and I might've mentioned the chicks aren't for free if they aren't part of the reservation. LOL but true.

John2406
Level 10
Swansea, United Kingdom

@Tamara682 I'm not too certain what to say, other than it's far too easy to make out that all u21s are the same, whereas they most definitely aren't.

 

Having said that, whilst the lad who has booked may well be the most perfect Guest anyone has ever had, we also have to recognise that not everyone is the same, so perhaps it's just as well you followed up your acceptance of booking with "guidance" etc for both him and those staying with him and/or visiting.

 

It would be very easy for me to say that I don't allow u21s (which I don't) not because I don't trust them ('cos I do), but because of my Property insurance (it's far more selective than me, and won't pay out in certain circumstances - and that's not a case of their being prejudiced in any way, but rather they  take into consideration both the risk factor, as well as the chances of recouping any losses, so on the basis of that they have had far more experience than I, I have a higher age-bracket to which I angle my property).

 

Having said all that, one also has to have "gut feeling", and in your particular case a lot of empathy in view of having lost a musician within your family/your Guest being a musician, and your son being interested in the same genre of music (I have to admit that even at the age of 75, I would not only have allowed the booking (and would also have been over the moon) if Eminem was u18 and had booked my place!

 

Perhaps there should be a Group on Airbnb that not only does allow u18s to book in their own right, but that can highlight all the positives, the correct wording, the what u18s CAN do, as opposed to what they are NOT allowed to do, etc.

 

I suppose what I am trying to say is that "responsibility for one's own actions, as well as for the actions of those with the individual" can only be measured by their actions, and none of us will really discover the answer until we too have allowed such a booking (the u18 Lead Guest doesn't have to be a Rapper!) and until we each have subsequently examined our property!

 

Wishing you a most successful booking, and hopefully you'll not only keep us all in the picture after your Guests have left, but maybe you will be the one to start the "Group on Airbnb that not only does allow u18s to book in their own right" but you will be able to encourage others to reconsider?!

Helen744
Level 10
Victoria, Australia

@Tamara 682 I also sympathize with you but do not let your heart run away with your head. It is paramount that you have the id of 'all of the guests.' unless this young person is some type of hermit then it is inevitable that he will have 'followers' fans and hangers on . The rules about 'no parties' must be very clear, also dont try to be his friend or his fan. Be professional .also the rule about  no visitors needs to be clear. honestly it already sounds like you are creating the party that you do not want .as someone said'curb your enthusiasm '. this is a minor celebrity in someones world and six young people are already a party as far as I know , anywhere else in the world . It has nothing to do with responsibility , you need to put that in place. Its animal spirits if you get my drift. Cheers H

@Tamara682  As an onsite host, I've had only positive experiences with 18-21 year-old guests. It's been rather alarming when they've thought of me as a dad type, as I imagined myself younger, but the fact is, I'm right there in the building and they know I'll put a stop to any shenanigans that I didn't encourage. Your listing says you live just upstairs, so this group should already know that they can't just throw a wild party. But what should be a firm boundary in your listing is that no unregistered visitors may enter at any time. This loses its teeth if you create loopholes like "chicks cost extra" - if you want people to respect a rule, you can't give the impression that you can be negotiated out of it. When someone has earned your trust enough that you'd consider an exception, that should be solely at your own initiative.

 

That's something I live by in general, not just hosting. 

 

I think most of the internet already knows that Airbnb doesn't actually do deposits, so I wouldn't bother trying that on with anyone who seems capable of a basic Google search. Just make it clear that you'll be very nearby for the whole stay, and show that you're welcoming but serious about your boundaries, and you should be able to have a very successful and mutually respectful stay. 

Huma0
Level 10
London, United Kingdom

@Anonymous 

 

Ditto. Agree with everything you said.

 

@Tamara682 

 

I have hosted I don't know how many guests under 21 and the majority of them have been amazing, actually a lot better than many of my older guests. However, I have never hosted groups of them coming for a gig or anything else that might result in a party situation.

 

If you feel comfortable with this reservation - and there's no reason not to if the guests seem respectful - yes, the main thing is to set clear boundries. I will be upstairs, no partying, no extra guests, quiet time after X hour, damages will be charged to you etc. etc. You just have to find a way to communicate that in a friendly and hospitable manner 🙂

First of all, a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who responded here. I've read every one of them and taken all of your advice. I had a great conversation with my guest, and you were right about the fact that my mentioning the 'chicks for free' while tongue in cheek did open a door to guests he had not considered.
That said, we went through the rules for visitors - no alcohol/drugs, no one past 2am, and very limited # of guests allowed (for his part, he absolutely agrees no alcohol/drugs because things get out of hand [his words]) and that if they do have any visitors they will be limited and only other artists from the show. 
I also reminded him that since it's his card on the line to ensure his guests do not overstep or create a situation where he will be charged for their disrespect and made it clear that I will charge him if that is the case.
I feel good about things at this point. As to the no extra guests, I know that after a show there's what I refer to as the natural high (excitement and energy) that comes from successfully performing. It takes performers a while to wind down and these are adults, albeit young ones. I have in my listing that family and friends are welcome within house rule boundaries already.
I also appreciate the reminder to keep it strictly business because it is true that he's not much younger than my own son and there's an automatic Mom tendency that just kind of kicks in. Your recommendation reminded me of that and I very much appreciate it.
He promises to take good care of my place and I believe him.
I'll keep you posted and thank you all so much! Evey response has been incredibly helpful and inspiring.

@Tamara682 He sounds like a conscientious fellow himself. One reason I still can't recommend allowing extra visitors is that  even people with the best of intentions often overestimate the good will of their acquaintances, or their ability to keep a grip on the situation. If you're confident that you can swiftly intervene to restore order and prevent anything from escalating into damage or other problems, that need not be a major concern. But do be aware that you effectively waive any right to a claim if you allow unregistered guests into the home for any length of time during a stay and damage occurs.

 

In short, stick with your instincts, as long as you're not going with the assumption that Airbnb has your back. 

@Andrew0

Thanks, I hadn't really thought about the ABB part and guess I missed the part that of the ABB agreement that said visitors (aka unregistered guests) were not covered. I wondered why everyone was so adamant about it. Now I know.
I am comfortable at this point, and they are only staying overnight, but I will be sure to take your points into consideration for future stays. I really appreciate the additional info.

@Tamara682 I will also vouch for the under-25s.  They have been, by far, my most consistently great guests.  All of my bad guests have been in their late-60s with the mid-30s as the second-worst group.  You said, "I've never seen one good thing posted from a host about anyone under 25."  But that's because 1.  people don't tend to post about good guests, only troublesome ones and 2. the age of the troublesome guest is generally only mentioned if it's an under-25.  So, I think their age ends up in the spotlight when they aren't good guests whereas other age groups are just bad guests of an unnamed age, creating an inaccurate reputation of the age group.  Incidentally, the under-25s are also the group that most often leaves a thank you note and/or gift. 

Richard531
Level 10
California, United States

You're in for a late night when this dude/his friends stay at your place.  

Loretta126
Level 10
Katy, TX

I thought ABB did away with security deposits and are now offering AirCover for hosts.  So he might not have $500 on the line for damages. 

Amy1554
Level 3
Boston, MA

Are we hosts able to collect security deposits? Sorry I am still new to hosting. I thought the security deposits is just a bluffing.... 

@Loretta126   Airbnb never had security deposits, at any point in its history. For years, hosts have been able to enter an arbitrary "security deposit" amount in the listing editor, but Airbnb never held or charged this to the guests' payment method - it was just a placebo.

 

 @Amy1554 your suspicion is correct. It's possible to request a deposit via the Resolutions tool, but if the guest declines to voluntarily pay it, you're simply out of luck.

Hope someday the security deposits becomes a real thing to protect our hosts.