Abusive guest

[Ed261]

To our beloved hosts

I’m new to this community thread

I’ve been a host for 3 years and I always enjoyed hosting my spare room for Airbnb guests. I had some experience where guest broke some things but I always taken care of that via resolution centre. 

But for my first time I was been treated very badly . 
two spare rooms in my house was rented on Saturday night . Just for one night. 
usually only one room I rent out very rarely two rooms get booked by same guest during weekends. 
One woman  booked two rooms fir herself and friends 

2 rooms accommodate 4 guests. 
she sounded well and communication was good as well 

she requested to check in 3 hours earlier than check in time and I accepted it 

I helped with no charge. 
but in the last mintue she changed her plan to come 2 hours earlier than the check in time . So I went out 

but my co host gave the keys and checked her on time.  When she check in her other two friends didn’t come as they were late. Lady who booked the room realised after check in  that she didn’t book the whole place it’s a private room .
she used that I she booked in one day before the check in and didn’t read anything. However she did accept her fault and didn’t worry about it much as it was only for one night. Later her other two friends came home and started making lot of noise .
they also got angry on friend who booked private rooms not the whole flat. However she told this is the cheapest she could get on Saturday night with free parking.
after 3 hours later check in they knocked and said that they lost the key and access fob as well. My co host said that you should check the room

it will definitely be in your room but they didn’t listen and wanted to go urgently and drunk quite badly . They were full of alocohol and they demanded new key and fob

unfortunately in the weekends we cannot develop fob immediately and they said we are leaving

please open when we come back .
I reported to Airbnb and they said I can claim for key if they don’t return it to me by check out time . I was always tried to be kind and worked really hard to be a nice host . I stayed awake to open the gates for them even though it’s not my fault . Apparently lady who booked the flats cane at 2 am and called me . I kindly opened the gates and let her in . She was fully drunk but she apologised for coming late. I said fine , go to sleep and then I heard sound again at 4:30 am that she was trying to open the door to go down to bring her other two friends and I went & -asked her . She said my other two friends just came and standing outside the flat. I said ok let me help you , I will go down and open the gates.
I went down opened the gates. That’s where all started. Her friends started to scold me for not coming down immediately and basically her friend didn’t answer her call for 30 mintues , so she had to wait outside for 30 mintues. Any how I’m a host and I have no control over . But one woman used so much of unpleasant words and abusive. But I was still trying to help her understand and she was fully drunk

and in my own flat early in the morning 4:30 she was yelling and asking me to get out. There’s no private room exist in Airbnb . You’re cheating and I have not seen sharing in Airbnb. Both of them kept shouting and shouting . I was always been a quite person and cannot talk aggressively. They took Ada vantage of that and made me feel so unsecured . Treated me like a slave and she being the boss. The lady who booked the room . Remain silent in her room and didn’t come out if the room to help me. At one point I was broken and went inside my room & started crying . They made more noise and gone to sleep about 5:30 am but I sent text to Airbnb and no response. I kept crying and asking My self why ? Why ? .  Crying through the night and didn’t sleep even for a second. Around 10 am the lady who booked the room . Gave the keys to the abusers 

and left . 
11am is the check out and so I opened my door and went out . Again that lady started to question me how can you stand in front of my door even though I explained to her it’s a common hallway to go out of the house. I immediately asked her it’s check out time and you didn’t leave. She said my other friend getting ready . Will leave after she gets ready 

didn’t ask me politely to stay extra 30 mintues . Again I can’t expect any politeness from her. She’s the most disturbing person I’ve ever met in my life. How could one woman can do this to another woman. 
only reason I didn’t ask them to leave around 4:30 am in the morning . They cane by car and they cannot drive since they were fully drunk. 
I asked God to give me strength to be patient. 
They keft 45 mintues later the check out time. I reported to Airbnb after they all left. They said they cannot do anything except by creating a case and warn them not do this. 
but this been almost 40 days I’m still in that trauma ! 
So many questions in my mind , 

why I accepted this reservation? 
why I didn’t act wise and should have been strict and ask them to find the key in the room before they go out for evening night out . They just didn’t have a patience to look. But morning they did find the key in the room. 
I’m not able to come out if that trauma folks and I’m suffering mentally. 
Though I should share these to get help from our community. 
I’m not able to sleep , eat and that abusive lady got away easily. I’m sure she will do this to another person. 

[Luana130]

I hope you gave them a bad review to warn other hosts.

You should keep extra copies of the keys just in case, that way if they loose it you don't have to wait on them.

[Ed261]

@Luana130 Thank you so much for your thoughtful message. Yes we gave them both keys and access card. As it was for 4 people. They lost both. In fact they didn't lose it , they just don't want to check properly in their room. Off-course I had one key left with but that for me to go and come as the last one with me. So many things I failed that day. Unfortunately after that incident was in deep trauma  I couldn't.t stay in my own house. As the memories of abuse started to come everyday  and I was been with counselling centres and again the lady who booked the room itself apologised for her friend behaviour and she didn't even talk to her  after that it seems .Abusive lady is her friend . It is not her  profile.  

Thank you again Luana and also system with airbnb with guest they can delete and create new profile easily nowadays.I'm also ashamed that I couldn't help the next host for future . I hope the next host won't be same as me and strong enough to handle them wisely.

[Roberta2]

Hello @Ed261 

I am sorry that you had such a bad experience with a guest.

Usually, when a guest does not read the descriptions (as it was the case, per her own confirmation), they normally get frustrated, and everything is cause for complaints.

Thankfully, this is not the norm within Airbnb, and most guests are lovely people.

But saying that, if you are to deal with people on a day to day bases, you will have to forgive and forget. Dwelling on her behaviour will not change the past. See what you learned from this experience to be able to move forward. Make sure you communicate with any future guests in advance, so they need to confirm that they understand that they are taking a room in a house - and that the house is YOUR HOME.

You need to have thick skin to deal with people - otherwise, you will burn out and then, maybe, airbnb is not for you.

Good luck in the future!

[Ed261]

@Roberta2  Thank you so much for your such thoughtful and strong advice "It's My Home"

I sent her with all the information with house rules and what they can access and everything as a welcome pack and she replied saying thank you for the information. But your advice do tell me that I need to specify and again and ask them to verify about private room. Like you said "lovely guest" I have more than 210 reviews with such a sparkling guest no question about lovely people around in airbnb. But I do understand that I have to be careful hereafter with guest. I now decided to host only selectable guest who I think I can handle. I recovered from spinal surgery recently and after this incident with new mental trauma pain its something affected me mentally and living in the same home made it more difficult especially now in lockdown. My friend suggested me to post in airbnb community to   understand how to overcome and having difficult to forget that incident. 

Thank you so much for your caring message. I much appreciate your time and care. Stay safe and good health to you .

[Helen3]

I am sorry to hear of your awful experience.

Can I ask how you were able to accept bookings for a shared home, when this has been banned in the UK since mid March? @Ed261 

[Helen350]

@Helen3 - @Ed261 says, near the bottom of her post, that the incident was nearly 40 days ago.... - i.e. before the lockdown!

(I'll reply later on, after I've walked the dog.) I DO sympathise, awful, & obviously an 'entitled' guest who had zero idea of the concept of homeshare, & who acted as if she were in a hotel!

[Helen3]

Sorry I missed that @Ed261 

Your guests sound truly horrific. Please don't think as a host you have to put up with that behaviour.

If there is a next time. Please contact Airbnb and ask them to cancel the booking so you can get the guests to leave if they break your house rules, wake you up at stupid hours and harass you.

[Ed261]

@Helen3 @Helen350 

Thank you lovely ladies for your support, thoughtful &most caring message. 

First I thought who will read my big message and reply . But you guys are so kind to spend time in my post and replied me. Such kindness means a lot to me. Like I said in my above message,

I recovered from spinal surgery  recently and after this incident with new mental trauma pain its something affected me mentally and living in the same home made it more difficult especially now in lockdown. To  understand how to overcome and having difficult to forget that incident is something I'm trying to understand and gain knowledge.Thank you ladies again .

Please stay safe and Good health to you guys.

[Helen350]

Hi @Ed261  I too am a person who has a life long tendency to get upset when others are unkind to me. And as a fellow homeshare host, I know it's upsetting when guests are rude & disrespectful. Thankfully, my disrespectful guests were nothing like as bad as yours. And I'd encourage you to keep hosting, when we are allowed to again,  if your physical health is up to it. After all, you have lots of good reviews from guests who were satisfied!

- I'd advise you keep telling yourself not to take things TOO personally. These guests were nasty people, their behaviour is a reflection of them, not you.

- They obviously didn't understand that homeshare expects people to be 'good guests', polite & respectful. And of course they didn't KNOW you were homeshare, they wrongly thought all Airbnbs were whole place rentals. That was THEIR fault! It explains their bad mood, but does not excuse it! Of course, even booking a whole place does not give you the right to demand replacement keys at all hours, cos you've mislaid the first one!

- One thing I've done with my basic, modest listings, is ask myself what guests might find fault with at my place, i.e. shared bathroom, other guests, dog. I've put these things in CAPITAL letters near the top of the description, so no one else will say "Oh do you live here too?!" We didn't know there would be other guests/shared bathroom." I often say in my pre-trip messaging "Are you aware it's a shared bathroom, my lodger will be staying those nights & I have a dog!)"  Then they message back & say that's fine! - I started doing this after hosting some disgruntled Australians who'd been touring for 3 months in whole place listings & weren't expecting to share!

- My house rules say I welcome social drinking but I don't want anyone coming in drunk!

- You could consider not using Instant Book, & only using 'Request to book' You might lose a few bookings, but will have more control over who stays in your house. You can ask before they book what the purpose of the visit is, & who the other people are.... Hopefully you will pick up if a drunken night out is planned.... and tell them they are not 'a good fit'.

- If you are unlucky enough to host bad guests in the future, don't let them bully you. TELL them their behaviour is unacceptable, ask them to leave if neccessary..... (If 'no drunkenness is in your house rules, you can ask them to leave for breaking house rules.)  Get Airbnb to cancel the booking as Helen3 said.

Moving forward, try to put this bad episode out of your mind. Think of the many GOOD guests you've hosted, & that most guests are like that... Be pro-active in screening potential guests. You WERE unlucky - those guests wanted a drunken girls' night out, & a whole house to themselves to recover in. It was a mistake to book yours, with you, the landlady there! So it probably won't happen again....

There are LOTS of posts about bad guests here in the CC. You could put 'bad guest' 'disrespectful' 'drunk' into the search box top right..... There you'll see other posts similar to yours, which might help.... And helpful replies.... I noticed most of the bad guests seem to be in America, not the UK, so don't let these posts scare you, just be encourage by the replies & advice.... I know when I've felt down about a bad review or slightly disrespectful guest, I've been encouraged by advice of CC members to other hosts....

Take care & I hope you enjoy hosting when travel starts up again after the lockdown.

[Ed261]

@Helen350 

[Ed261]

@Helen350  I’m so sorry for very late reply. But Helen thank you so much for such encouragement, comforting message. It really made my feel happy and did remind me that lot of lovely people exist in the world. Later that day when you sent another follow up unfortunately I become quite worse and had a panic attack. I had to go through some terrible trauma episodes. As I was keep getting flashback of that incident and Developed PTSD. I did get good care from church friends , therapy and moved on to gardening. Avoided phones , internet to forget what happened. That’s why I was never able to respond. Thank you again Helen . I’m feeling much much better and feeling new. Happy person and now I’m looking forward to new covid free world . I’m sure all of us wanted to get rid of Covid. I do hope your well and “Hi “to Dog as well. Stay safe and blessed. You’re amazing.