Appropriate checkin concerns about size and weight of guests

[Anthony48]

This is a very hard this to ask about. I am myself overweight, and struggled my entire life, as has my entire family. It's painful and embarrassing, but when does responsibility come into play?

I have been hosting for a year and made significant investments into new bed frames, mattresses, and I never imagined the size of the couple that arrived to stay at my home today. The online pictures were face only, and it just never occurred to me that I should consider what is about to happen. There is no possibility that these two people will fit on a queen size mattress. I assure anyone reading this . . .this is not even traditionally American morbidly obese, it's really a concern for my furniture and belongings. It wouldn't be respectful to put numerical weights - but even high quality furniture has limits. We are beyond all limits here in size, girth, weight, space.  I don't know what my rights are, and growing up being bullied myself, I can't imagine how to handle this. I have well over $1,200 worth of furniture and bedding that could be potentially damaged here.

I also cannot see how they will shower or use the bath and toilet space. I'm completely stressed out about a newly renovated space.

Finally - shouldn't I express this as a part of participation with AirBNB? Privately to guest? Privately to AirBNB? I cannot imagine it in a public review, but they have no other reviews, and they came last minute today saying it was because they had an incident with another host. Of course I'm guessing what it was.

I also can't imagine screening potential future guests about this topic either. I'm just overwhelmed.

[Cindi9]

Hi,

I just had the room re-done as well.  My daughter had an extremely expensive bed that is a queen/full size- the slats underneath can be adjusted, and I have an 800 lb. woman and her 165 pound husband in the room.   That would be 965 lbs in that bed....and online I said "NO to disabled guests, because I work in social services and 3 of my bosses have been women around 600 pounds, and I could foresee something like this happening.   I DO NOT TAKE DISABLED GUESTS DUE TO HAVING 6 steps at the side door and front door of my house.   My son and all his friends are disabled, so I know.  We are NOT disability friendly when it comes to the entrance and my furniture has been weight tested for 300 pounds.    The bed was purchased from a Children's section of a showroom in Miami- it has an extender on it and I would have said "NO".   I have an adirondeck chair thatis in the room, cracked last year when a 200 pound woman sat on it.   The toilet has only 6 inches of clearance, so I am in your shoes, 'a stressed out wreck that they knew darn well that the room is not a good fit'.   I talked to a Professor I work for here in Asheville , NC and she specializes in law.   Her comment was "This is an issue of personal responsibility".   What was she thinking, not contacting you ahead of time.  These are delicate issues.  This woman should have been in a HOTEL in a KING's size bed.  Come on.  This woman went to The Biltmore Estate, and told me that she was able to ACCESS the OTIS ELEVATOR on the main LEVEL.  They are VERY picky about who can ride this.  You have to be FULLY DISABLED FROM WEIGHT ISSUES.  Which this woman was.  So she is disabled, and booked with me AND I DO NOT ALLOW IT, because my HOUSE IS NOT ACCESIBLE TO DISABLED PEOPLE.  She has a MORBID OBESITY DISABILITY.  PLEASE PLEASE CALL me, there may be excessive damage to my house and I would love to discuss with you...eight -two-eight, five zero five,  nineteen thirty.

We have a friend, from Habitat for Humanity who is a Project manager and I called him, and he said, "Anything over 560 lbs is an extreme stress on the floor boards and can cause structural damage to our house.  I am a single mom, and my son is disabled and so I know disability issues to some extent.

[Connie55]

The host who remarked of safety concerns helped me the most and so I added the following to my listing and wonder what others may think of  it. "Due to safety concerns for guests - no single guest's weight may exceed 250 pounds and the combined weight of both guests may not exceed 400 pounds."

I considered adding a reminder, such as that "the lodging's furniture and facilities are not commercial by design" I wonder if I should add that.

 I really look forward to any additional comments.

[Elizabeth348]

I like that Connie! Pls let us know if you get any pushback from guests or from airbnb, I would like to use the same wording.

[Connie55]

Hi Elizabeth, great to get your feedback!

[Connie55]

I have never received pushback from airbnb. 🙂

[Connie55]

I changed it to this "This lodging is equipped with household-grade bed, bath and furniture - not commercial type by design. If any single guest exceeds 250 pounds or if the combined weight of both guests exceed 400 pounds, I recommend booking a commercial hotel that is set up for everybody."

[Linda1144]

Thanks so much , I couldn’t think straight after I saw this guest. That is perfect. 

[Connie55]

I only have one tiny house airbnb rental in my backyard and hopefully resolved the possibility of dealing with a broken bed or toilet in the context of back-to-back bookings.  I placed text in the listing as both an "amenity limitation" and House rule that the toilet, chairs and bed are only household grade (not commercial grade) and that guests whose weight exceeds 260 pounds for one person or 410 combination that it would be a responsible decision for them to book a commercial hotel. 

Better safety for the guests in the long run.

[Rosemarie79]

Hi, my name is Rose. 

I have read through all of your posts with thoughtful care.  Many of them were very lengthy and some what repetitive, but I stuck with you to the end. I hope you will give me the same courtesy.

I have never been a particularly petite person. But never did I imagine that I would be over 300 lbs. About 12 years ago, I was in a bike accident that messed up my  knees.  Exercise became excruciatingly painful.  It has taken awhile but here I am, our 38th anniversary-

I have been spending a considerable time on Airbnb for months to find just the right place to go for our anniversary. I look at the furniture so closely and constantly thinking, that won't hold my weight.  So you see, there are some at least that are so very aware of our situation and  to spare both of us embarrassment and expense. And I would be mortified if I damaged anyone's belongings!!  So months later and only 3 weeks til our anniversary, I have not booked anything, though I have a dozen or more that I love.  

I know there are ones out there that don't care at all, and others who just don't think. Those may feel that their own furniture works, so your should too.

My suggestion in order to keep from having a discrimination case or bent up broken furniture...invest in heftier chairs especially dining chairs and flimsy little bistro sets for outdoors, the thin plastic lawn chairs from Walmart, use heavier chain and hooks on porch swings, block up the bed under the four corners an a couple or three places in the middle to protect the fram and the box springs. Watch at garage sales, estate sales, Goodwill for nice sturdy chairs not a lot of money on antiques and flimsy press board furniture. Become familiar with what is a cheap piece or reproduction and well made furniture before you start buying. It doesn't have to be new. Don't buy with eyes, use mind, turn it over, look under it to see how it's made.  

Some of the nicest people you'll ever meet are overweight or obese. But you'll never get to know us if you think of all of us as weak minded people, lacking self control, an obstacle, and a liability. 

As a side note...I asked google what percentage of Americans are overweight or obese....

The answer, nearly 75% of men.

60% of women

Even 30% of children

So alittle planning could be lucrative and safe for you and stress relieving and freeing for us....

Some of us are trapped inside severally damaged bodies, hating what we have become, loathing the hulk we are locked in.  PLEASE BE CAREFUL NOT TO BE JUDGMENTAL  most of us desperately wish even more than you that we could be different.

Because we are afraid of being judged, we stay inside the 4 walls of our homes, hidden away. It's ashame!

Rosie

Washington State

[Yvonne41]

Hi Rosie,

Thank you for the thoughtful reply. I assure you our furniture is very sturdy and can likely support up to 400lbs (i have changed out all of the toilet seats to plastic now too). I have personally known people who were overweight and they were extremely sensitive to their surroundings. But, the truth is there are people getting closer to 500 lbs and they are not letting me know when they damaged a few things. I am extremely sensitive to keeping my house open for all types of guests and all I need is transparency if there is someone who is doing extra wear and tear that I have to address for the consistency and comfort of every other guest too. I hope that makes sense why I am asking how to best handle this. I guess I am also asking for open communication from those who may find themselves on the other side of this issue, as my guests.

[Rosemarie79]

Hi Yvonne,

I appreciate your difficulty.  On the one hand it would be nice to know what to expect. Yet not offend a person. That would not be profitable nor promote good relations.  I think your change is a good idea, though some may be oblivious to your meaning and others will ask what that means. Have your tactful answer ready.  I am going to have a look at your place cause I would be interested since not far from me. I have a budget too since we live on my husbands disability. Thank you for your reply.

Rosie.

[Linda1144]

I have a guest that is morbidly obese and staying for 5 days. The mattress is two years old and it is not top of the line. I think it’s rude and inconsiderate not mention weight before your guest tried booking.