Asking a guest to leave

[Venus3]

A young woman booked a room in my house, telling me that she and her boyfriend were coming to visit from California. Great. She arrived an hour ago, by herself. I asked her about her boyfriend. She explained that he is a student at the local university and isn't allowed guests in his dorm room, so she booked my room so that he could join her here. Needless to say, they were having sex less than thirty minutes after he got here. The layout of my place is such that every room I can be in borders their bedroom. I never would have agreed to the reservation had I understood the real situation. I understand that they miss each other and that having sex is totally normal. But this is my house. I'm going to be here all weekend, working. I do not want my home to be a make-shift brothel for the weekend. Can I ask them to  leave? Or do I just have to suck it up?

[Barb6]

Whether they were there together when they came or like your situation they could be having sex at any time. If you have enough nerve you could tell them the walls are very thin, if you know what i mean.

Regardless, people have sex, they will have sex at your place.

I think your screwed... bahahaaa

[Venus3]

Oh for sure. I'm sure my guests have sex all of the time. And that in and of itself doesn't bother me. But these are 19 year olds who have been apart for the last three months and have 48 hours together. I was once 19 and I know exactly what I would have wanted in that situation. They're just going to be in there having sex all weekend. And I'm a professor where that kid is a student. It's just really really uncomfortable.

[Bridget0]

Make-shift brothel? I do not think that word means what you think it does....

You were ok for them to have come from California, identifying themselves as unmarried, to stay at your home. For all you know, they both lived in their parent's houses and here coming to have sex all weekend at your house anyway, that seems to have been an ok arrangement for you.

If it bothers you to have unmarried people having sex in your house, and it is TOTALLY your right to feel that way, you should make it absolutely clear in your listing that only married or solo travelers will be welcome. As it is, turn up the radio, try to be out a lot and work on rewording your listing so you have a comfortable hosting experience.

[Venus3]

I don't care that they're not married. Maybe I didn't word the first message very well. I get the sense that everyone thinks I'm a member of the religious right. I am totally fine with anyone and everyone having sex with whomever they want to have sex with. I just don't want to have to listen to people having sex all weekend long because they're excited to see each other and have no druthers about getting it on while perfect strangers are reading quietly in the next room. I should have also added that the boyfriend is an undergrad at the university where I teach. There is something deeply unsettling about hearing a student that I might have in a classroom someday (though I imagine that after this weekend he will steer clear of my classes) get it on in the next room. 

In any case, looks like everyone is telling me to suck it up. So suck it up I will.

[CarlandDiane0]

I think you worded your post just fine. You're freaked out and I can understand. It's just not what you expected. But Airbnb hosts are in the hospitality business, for good or for ill, and we'll face this kind of thing.

I posted a message earlier suggesting you leave them a friendly note that lets them know they've been makin' a love ruckus. For what it's worth, that might make you feel better about the situation and should also remind them that they're staying in someone's house, not an anonymous No-Tell Motel.

[Bridget0]

Just noticed that your hosting name is Venus...might want to change that!

[Frank-and-Jesse0]

I'm sure it happens more often than we'd like to think, but nothing you can do about it other than bringing it to their attention. I'm sure they're aware.

I had this happen the other night... thankfully (for me) it wasn't more than just a few minutes. 

[Rose-Ann0]

Hi hosts from Fresno....finally I came across the city I host in too.  We had guests with activity like that also.  I believe its all part of the hosting experience.  LOL

[Frank-and-Jesse0]

Hi Rose Ann! Is there a way to message you direct? I'd love to meet a local host.

[Helen3]

I think the point we are making is that whether they both travelled to you or met at your location young (and old) lovers vacationing together will have sex.

It seems a little strange that if they travelled together it would have been okay for you but not them meeting at your location. 

Using words like a make shift brothel is rather insulting to your guests - I am sure they are not paying each other or a third party to have sex.

Invest in some earplugs or put your headphones  on if you want to work from home or find a nice coffee bar.

If this is an issue for you perhaps hosting in your home is not for you?

[David-and-Fiona0]

They are consenting adults. You have accepted the booking....If this is an issue in the future maybe you should not be hosting. 

[CarlandDiane0 · Accepted solution]

They'll probably have to come up for air (and food...for stamina purposes) at some point. That will give you the opportunity to leave a note on the Love Chamber door when that they'll see when they return.

"Dear -----, I hope you're having a wonderful stay here.  But just so ya know: the walls are really thin here in the house. And I've been cursed with terrific hearing.  😉

Thanks in advance for your consideration.

Your sleepy host, Venus"

WIth luck, they'll crank it down a notch. We've only been hosting for two months and we've already had a couple "cheater couples" stay with us.  At least they're staying in a well-insulated guest house so they could be up to all kinds of Olympic-class stuff in there and we'd never know it. But Diane sages the room afterward, just to get rid of the lingering guilt.

Good luck!

[Venus3]

I ended up sending her a diplomatic text and she replied very sweetly and very embarassed. So maybe it will all be fine. In any case, c'est la vie. 

And thanks for being the only people on here who haven't assumed that I'm some anti-sex **bleep** who wants to morally police everyone's behaviour. The fact that they did not travel together simply means that this is a long-distance booty call. And I know from experience what that looks like - and I would never have arranged for one in someone's house, while they were there. But you know, kids. 

Thanks for the sense of humour. I think we'll all deal just fine. 

[CarlandDiane0]

You didn't strike us as prudish. You're right...they're in your home. And when someone you don't know presents their trip one way and you fnd out the reality is different, even if it's not radically different, then the burden is on the host to either live with it or say, "Hey, this isn't what we agreed to." 

We've been together since we were 18 and 19. (Our first date was the Friday after Reagan was shot.) So your guests' behavior sounds super familiar. Diane was always the polite one when we were in situations like this. I couldn't care less, though it shames me to admit it now. I'm a guy, and I am often an idiot.

When you're that age and you're in love, or in lust, or just wasted, you're nothing but a throbbing mass of excited hormones. You'll do dumb things like get super loud and nasty in a stranger's house with the stranger in the room next door.

As we mentioned, we're new to this, but we're finding that seeing our guests as mostly positive, even when they do something that isn't, keeps us happy with hosting.  Every booking has been a learning experience for us.

So glad your guest took your request well. Here's hoping the remedy works!

Have a great weekend,

Carl and Diane