I wrote this review about a mentally unstable guest I just had... and of course she read it, has my phone number and is now harassing me. She has threatened to kill herself a few times.. here's the review... now what do I do?
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I really don’t know what to say here. Her stay began pleasantly enough and she brought me hand cream and dulce de leche which was very nice. She also asked me if it was okay if a friend of hers came with her when she arrived because he was helping her with her bags which was of course fine with me. Then she specifically told me without any prompting that she would never dream of having guests over because it was my home, which was encouraging because I specifically said in my ad that parties and overnight guests weren’t allowed.
Within about four days she asked if she could borrow my shoes if she went out. I said no immediately because it was such a bizarre request and then she said “like if I go out to a club or something’ and again I answered no. Never in my life has someone asked to borrow my shoes, much less twice, much less someone I just met who’s staying in my house as a guest.
Then it became clear a few times that she was indeed having guests over – I came home one day from work and her ex-boyfriend and her were loudly rehearsing a scene (she’s an actress) in my living room. Then I came home one day after work and she was out and there were the unwashed dishes of a meal for three or four people. I found this odd because she made such a point of telling me she would never dream of having someone over. I asked her to stop and then in conversation she told me later in the month that people had come over to bring her food and etc. and so not only was she still letting people into the flat while I was at work but she was lying about it and then messing up and telling me about it.
Then one night I came over and men’s shoes were at my front door. I was annoyed enough that she had an overnight guest over but then I went into my bedroom and found that she had put SOMEONE’S bicycle inside MY ROOM. I don’t know if other people are better at coping with privacy invasions than I am, but entering my private room to put someone’s bicycle in it is a bit much for me. I knocked on her door and no answer so I texted to explain how upset I was and her answer was that she “thought that’s where bicycles go”. I mean come on – MY bicycles go in my room. Some strange man’s bicycle does not. Also, stay out of my room. And keep strangers out of my room. My god.
Much of her stay was spent with her sobbing about her ex-boyfriend’s behaviour though she spent a good portion of her stay having him come over (despite no guests) and being at his place. She is not particularly mentally stable and at one point came home with mascara all over her face and neck and told me she wanted to kill herself. I am not without empathy and spent a good portion of my month listening to her boy problems (and trying to explain that he’s not in fact giving off mixed signals but did in fact very clearly break up with her and tell her that all he wanted was to be friends). I even leant her a self-help book to read. But the general vibe was that she thought that a) we were best friends b) I’m her mother c) I’m her therapist. I eventually just kept our conversations as professional as I could, stopped inquiring about the situation, and stopped sharing information about my life with her so she got the hint that this is a room-letting situation and I’m not here to take care of her emotionally.
When the exhausting month was finally near it’s end, she mentioned she had changed her flights and needed somewhere to stay for ten days. Against my better judgment I texted her to let her know that the room was available if she needed it and she said we needed to “discuss” it. Finally I told her there wasn’t much to discuss, told her the room rate on AirBNB and told her to let me know ASAP one way or another.
She then proceeded to tell me she had been in Brighton for the weekend and the train trip and accommodation there had been so expensive that she couldn’t afford anywhere near my AirBNB rate (350 for ten days) and that she had found a place for 260 on AirBNB (something that I checked later on AirBNB and frankly, no room in London is that cheap including hostel beds). I found it insulting beyond imagination that she was essentially asking me to give her 100 pounds of my money because she had just decided to go on vacation for the weekend, however I felt it entirely keeping with her character. She asked what I would accept between 260 and my asking price and I told her I didn’t need to negotiate – it’s on AirBNB and if not, I’ll live without the money. She also wanted to do it in cash and not through AirBNB and I would have felt extremely uncomfortable without the legal protection considering how often she let strangers into my flat when I wasn’t home and how freely she invaded my personal space.
Honestly, I think she’s an overgrown and immature child who thinks that adults should take care of her. Also the choice of drama school isn’t an accident – she has very serious anxiety and depression, and I don’t need the drama of someone sobbing in my living room with mascara all over their face at 11pm over a boyfriend who dumped her explicitly and clearly on the phone a week before she flew to London to apply to drama school to be closer to him. He wasn’t leading her on – he was clearly afraid of how unstable she is and was afraid to cut off contact.
She is flat out not mentally stable. I am generally a very caring person (I’m a primary school teacher and a good and respected one) but I don’t need to worry about taking care of someone who needs professional help and says she wants to kill herself.
Do not do this to yourself. Get money from a room from someone else.