I have this exact problem all the time, unfortunately. My listing very clearly states the window for check-in (more than once), and before I confirm a reservation I will make sure that the guest intends to arrive within that window. A day or two prior to arrival, I send a message to arrange a specific time within that window when I will meet them. I always make sure to mention that the purpose of nailing down a specific time is to "make sure I'm home." A lock box won't work for me - I have to be available to meet guests and show them how to find my building because my address is in a pedestrian-only area and doesn't work in GPS. I've been hosting for 2 years now, and more times than I can count, I'm sitting around waiting for people who clearly feel like their time is more valuable than mine. It is extremely off-putting and it's so difficult to remain gracious when someone is blatantly disrespectful right out of the gate. It's one thing when there is a flight delay or traffic, but many times after waiting 30-45 minutes past the pre-arranged check-in time, I'll message a guest asking how much longer they'll be and I'll get a response like, "Oh, sorry, I stopped to meet friends for lunch. We'll be done shortly." One guest did this to me on Valentine's Day last year - kept me waiting for 2 hours, and my boyfriend and I almost lost our dinner reservation. I can't remember whether I mentioned anything in the public review, but I definitely said something in the private review. I'm not a 24-hour concierge service. I'm a person with a job and a life and plans, and I have neither the time nor the desire to sit around my house all day waiting for people.
Last week, I had guests who booked a one night stay several weeks in advance. Two days before their arrival, I messaged them to provide directions to the meeting spot and to set a specific time to meet. I did not get a response, so I wrote again the following day. Again no response. Apparently, they were traveling in a remote location with no internet or cell service in the days leading up to their stay, but didn't think that would be important to mention at the time of booking. I finally got a response around 12-1pm on their arrival date. They were very wishy-washy about setting an exact check-in time, but said they were shooting for something around 3-4pm. I reminded them that, as stated in the listing, the earliest I can do check-ins on weekdays is 4pm, and that I would meet them at 4 unless they would prefer a later time. I did not get a response, so I left work early, at 2:30, to go home and clean up after the previous guest who had left at noon that day. Shortly after I got home, I received a message informing me that they were still on an island about an hour and a half away (longer with traffic, and rush hour gets going around 3-3:30pm). It did not even say they had any intention of leaving soon - just that they were still there. I requested an updated arrival time, which clearly irritated them. I was told, "We are not on any set schedule (we're on vacation!)" I don't think I've ever had any guest rub their sense of entitlement in my face quite so bluntly before. I was livid. I am not on vacation, unfortunately, and like most people who do not work from home, I am, in fact, on a set schedule. I made it clear that I was under the impression that they had wanted a 4pm check-in, and planned the rest of my day based on that. They ended up being only 45 minutes late because they went straight to the ferry after our exchange, but who knows when they would have casually sauntered over otherwise. I did my best to remain upbeat and hospitable, but every communication I received from them had a very demanding tone, and I was never once thanked for dropping whatever I was doing to respond promptly with whatever recommendations they were looking for (info that could have easily been gleaned from my extremely thorough Guidebook). I felt badly that they felt rushed to check-in, and allowed them to stay 3 hours past check-out until they were ready to go to the airport. Again, zero acknowledgment or thanks. They were clean and respectful of my space, and were nice enough in the few minutes I spent with them in person, but I felt that they were not at all respectful of my time, and the communication (or lack thereof) left much to be desired. I have yet to leave a review because I hate saying anything negative; I get the feeling they are nice people - just incredibly self-absorbed and oblivious, I suppose, for people who were not new to Airbnb. They have not yet left a review, either, and I hope that they don't because I have a bad feeling about it. But I don't feel like I did anything to deserve a bad review.
Anyway, sorry for the incredibly long post and thanks for reading. I guess I just really needed to vent after seeing the original post in this thread. Apologies to the original poster for not really having any useful advice on the matter; I think at the end of the day, some guests are gracious people and some are selfish people, and that's the kind of people they were before they came across your listing. So long as you are polite and informative regarding your rules, there's really nothing else you can do about people who clearly weren't raised right, except to do your best to weed them out prior to confirming a reservation. But at least you know you are not alone in your frustration. Best wishes, all.