@Wendy684 this would drive me crazy!
I don't think it's a good idea to restrict your check in times as people have different arrival times for all sorts of reasons, and if you say you are open to other times by arrangement I think you will end up in the same situation anyway.
You might lose bookings as if people can't be sure if they can get there say between 4pm and 6pm then they might book somewhere else.
I started to reply talking about self checkin solving the problem as @Yadira22 said but I then read your reply saying you let a room in your home.
This is quite different and I now understand it is vital for you to meet and greet.
I have looked at your listing and you could add providing an estimated time of arrival into your house rules, this way when someone complains and they did not adhere to a time of arrival then you can reply saying it was in your house rules, even though you clearly request this in your listing.
I think not telling you an arrival time (or an explanation of their situation as I say below) at least 24 hours prior is so disrespectful that they can just be kept waiting till you can comfortably get there. Finish that cuppa!
I have found, and others have also said that a lack of communication is a big red flag and we are better off without these guests. Perhaps you could try being hard nosed and simply not accept bookings where people do not give you an estimated time of arrival at time of booking. If people simply can't be sure an explanation of their travel arrangements will at least show a willingness to communication and you could then allow the booking.
This must be a common problem with people who share their homes, hopefully others in the same situation will give you some advice. (I am a remote host).
As you say people are treating you like a hotel with manned reception and if they can't show you the respect you deserve then frankly I think you need to inform them that they should find a motel/hotel.
Try posting this question in the Host Circle, this a discussion room just for hosts and you might get more help there.