Expectations/opinions on this Host interaction

[Grace483]

I'm a guest in this situation and interested in perspectives from both sides. I am currently staying in a private room, which I've done before, but always with people who took a very professional attitude toward their airbnb.

This is the first time I've been in a situation where the host behaves more like a roommate, which is to say apparently in his normal routine without much adjustment for the fact that guests are strangers from a range of other cultures. The biggest issue is that he frequently does not wear a shirt, including while checking guests in and initiating conversations. He once approached me to talk to me, and when I looked up he was in the middle of changing shirts. Other small things that might not bother me if not for the fact that I'm already uncomfortable -- he always uses the bathroom directly across from my room even though there is one in his (otherwise empty) wing of the apartment, and leaves the door open for things like washing his face or brushing teeth. I do understand that I'm sharing someone's home and he has his own habits, but I would expect some adjustments from someone choosing to run part of their home as a business.

I was actually not expecting the host to live here at all. While the listing was clear about a shared space, it's more common in this city/season to find airbnbs where all the rooms are for travellers, the listing only mentioned guest rooms, and when I specifically asked about people sharing the common areas and bathroom before booking, the other host (the ex-wife, who manages booking communication totally separately) only mentioned the number of guests/rooms sharing these spaces. The host who lives here occupies a loft area that is open to the common area.

Curious what others think about this. (1) Is it fair to expect that any listing with a host living in the home should be specific about this, beyond just choosing the appropriate type of stay? (2) What are your opinions about this host's state of dress in an airbnb?

[Ana1136]

@Grace483 of course that it should be clear who will be at the apartment and who will use the shared spaces. Also I would expect him to wear T-shirt, it is a shared space after all. Is he otherwise polite and non invasive in his communication with you? Does he behave the same around everyone? If the answer to these questions is "yes" I wouldn't think much of it probably. Are the other roommates uncomfortable too? If you all are you can agree to let him know what bothers you and ask if he cam maybe adjust. Or if he isn't willing to and you are still uncomfortable, you can call Airbnb and ask whether you can cancel and get refunded for the unused nights. Or if you are really really uncomfortable, just cancel without refund and find another place to stay. 

[Grace483]

@Ana1136 Thanks for your reply. Overall, it seems like he is trying to be nice (friendly, helpful) but has different ideas of what is appropriate. For instance, he told me the first day that he doesn't know who has paid because he and his ex-wife manages bookings and they avoid communicating too much. I'm staying a little over a week and have been the only guest (out of 4 rooms) most of the time, so it's hard to tell what his behavior is around others.

He did notice I was uncomfortable (probably based on using common areas less and less) but asked me if I was bothered because he sleeps in the open space and offered to move into the room directly next to me. It has a better view but again is a bit odd since the entire other side (his current side) is unoccupied and one room will be available the rest of the time I'm here. I know this because I checked the online availability to see that someone else is coming for the rest of my stay. Otherwise I would move!

[Helen427]

Hello @Grace483 

Welcome to CC

We all have different expectations, upbringings and what we may or may not perceive to be acceptable or not.

As a female host on my own I've had male & female guests go about their normal routines in my home.

It's not uncommon for people to leave the bathroom door open whilst washing one's face or brushing one's teeth - in fact I've just had a delightful Asian guest brush his teeth as he walked around the house!

I've also had male guests run around without a shirt on in particular in the summer heat and it doesn't bother me as I grew up mainly with my brothers.

Sometimes we need to adjust our own attitude and remember when staying in someone else's home, it is their home and so long as they are not indecent or breaking the law people shall do what they choose to within the privacy of their home.

One thing that I personally think we all should be mindful of is not all people close the door when getting dressed which to me does pose an issue as there's clear boundaries there one should respect & one doesn't know when someone else may be walking past.

Meanwhile chill out, spend time out and about whilst you can & enjoy your very short stay, it's not a month or 6 months so you will be just fine.

All the best