Guest become hostile over thermostat setting

[Chelly0]

I just had a really stressful encounter with a guest. I keep my thermostat at 65 during the night and 70-72 during the day when people are home. This guest apparently wants a room at about 85 (that's about what it was one evening when the troubles first began) so that she can walk around in short shorts and a tank top and flip flops (in January) and bought a space heater to heat the room. This 1500 watt space heater occasionally trips the circuit breaker (a common occurrence according to a brief Google search), especially if another guest is using a high wattage appliance, such as a European hair dryer. 

Last night, the circuit breaker tripped again and so I asked her to not run her heater for the rest of the evening. This morning she was full of outrage because she woke up cold and I had told her the thermostat was at 72 (which it was) but when she got up it wasn't (because the program is set to reduce it to 65 at 11 pm). She accused me of lacking integrity. I told her calmly I was very interested in making sure she was comfortable but the heater was tripping the breaker and that running the heater a lot makes it uncomfortable for me. She was outraged that I had asked *her* to turn off *her* heater and I explained that the other guests had told me that they were not running theirs. Nothing mollified her. She would not let me finish anything I tried to tell her. I tried to suggest that one compromise when one person is warm and the other is cold is for the person who is cold to dress more warmly, but she interrupted me to say "that the person who's cold do all the compromising".  She then made some snide remark about my cat hissing at her and that I was not caring for the cats adequately. (I recently purchased the house and they were still adapting and skittish about coming in the house from the garage where their beds, food, and litter boxes are.) 

My voice eventually probably got a little tense as well. Though I tried to continue explaining that she should try wearing pajamas, that we could set the thermostat a bit higher, and go from there. She remained outraged and showed me a page she'd Googled where they claimed the average setting for a thermostat was 70 to 75. I asked her what they said about night time temperatures and she looked confused and didn't answer. Then she stormed off to work. I sent her a link to another site that clearly says "72 is what people tend to prefer but we recommend trying to get to 68, and night time temperatures are best between 62 and 66." She sent me this reply:

"You can find anything to Justify your actions!!!! I am Not going to waste anymore of My Time Arguing with You!!!! Tell me your plans and I will react as I set Fit!!!!!"

I replied "I think it's probably best if you find another place. I've contacted Airbnb to see how we work out the logistics." 

She wants to change the reservation to end today. Airbnb told me that changing the reservation is up to me. That without my consent the reservation will continue until the currently booked date.  I am asking for a week's notice to have time to allow someone else to book the room. 

How do you all deal with confrontations such as these? This is a new house I am just setting up. I've had dozens of guests at my other house where the thermostat is set at 65 to 68 during the day and 60 at night, and none of them have complained and I have super host status. This new house does feel colder and when the first complaints came in I set the thermostat higher. But I find it really baffling that someone would walk around in light cotton tank top, shorts, and flip flops in January and complain about the cold. Or that extra blankets and wearing pajamas is an outrageous suggestion because she might feel a bit of chilly air if she has to get out of bed in the middle of the night. 

I understand people vary in which temperature range they feel comfortable, but when multiple people are living in the house, I would think that grown ass adults would understand the need for compromise. 

Anyway, thoughts and reactions would be appreciated. 

[Nixa0 · Accepted solution]

Hey ChellyO

Try not to let the confrontation ever get there.  This is the tack I take with difficult guests.

Let’s please remember Airbnb is a unique community where you are a welcomed guest into MY home.  This is the way we do things here.  You are most welcome to enjoy our surrounds the way we do, or I invite you to find an alternative setting for your stay, more in keeping with the comforts you desire.  

End of discussion.  Dont try to reason with entitled know-it-all’s.  It never ends well.  The bottom line is, this is your HOME.  If they want a hotel experience, stay in a hotel.  

Best advice I was ever given and I swear by it.

cheers

nixa 🌷

[Sarah977]

@Chelly0 If someone wants to go about in summer clothes in the dead of winter in their own home and pay for the resulting utility bills, that's up to them, but expecting to do that in someone else's home is, of course, entitled and absurd.behavior.

But regarding expecting guests to wear warm pajamas at night- I haven't worn pajamas since I was a child. If I happen to fall asleep with even a tee shirt on, I'll wake up within an hour and rip it off. Can't stand sleeping in clothing, and if I had to, I would get a terrible sleep. So while I wouldn't expect a host to keep the heat turned up overnight, I would expect there to be enough warm bedding.

[Chelly0]

Thanks, Sara. Yes, if she'd said something like that, I would have understood. I was just asking her if she could/would and she had no response. And was outraged at the suggestion of blankets. See cocoon comment above. I really did want to find a solution and would have been willing to increase the setting if that really was the only way  she could be comfortable. There was just no discussing it with her. It wasn't really even the thermostat that was the real issue. The real issue was an apparent inability to discuss it calmly and respectfully, or to consider that the comfort of other people mattered in any proposed solution.

[Lisa723]

@Chelly0 I wouldn't suggest she leave but also require a week's notice. Nor would I advise another adult about what to wear. I would just say, "Evidently my place is not a good fit for you, so please find another place where you will be more comfortable, and I'll refund your unused nights."