Guest has vanished..... What to do?

[Helen350]

My guest, male, aged 30, arrived Thurs for a 4 night stay. (Private room, homeshare.) On the Thurs, he arrived 90 mins before my check-in time, having phoned to say he would 1 hour before. He seemed pleasant & friendly & said he'd come here for future trips. We had a long discussion over a cup of tea about walking routes in the mountains. (Lake District.) He wanted to do ambitious walks up the biggest mountains, & long days, whilst admitting he had no experience, neither of the Lake District, nor other mountains. I suggested "Skiddaw" which has an easy tourist path to "break him in", cos he was reluctant to start on smaller  hills or valley walks & I did not want to patronise! He then went out to eat/explore & came back at 23.30, where we had more chat.

The next morning, Friday,  I heard him go out around 8.00, after a self service breakfast, if he bothered. I'd kept out of his way, not wanting to over supervise! 

HE HAS NOT BEEN BACK SINCE! It's now Saturday, 15.20 & he has not returned, nor replied to my 2x messages on airbnb page, nor my call to his mobile, where I got an answerphone. He locked my front door on leaving, & STILL HAS MY KEY! (No belongings left in room, but he only brought the tiniest day sack in with him, not big enough for a full change of clothes.)

I don't know what to think: If he was dissatisfied, he certainly didn't give that impression, & I would have expected a word, & the key! If his (possibly wet) walk did not meet expectations, & he decided to make the long journey home, & forgot he had the key, I would have expected him to message. He has NOT  cancelled for tonight & tomorrow. Of course I'm worried some accident has befallen him, but local news is silent!

WORRIED. - WHAT TO DO??

[Anonymous]

I would get in touch with the park service and explain the situation, being sure to mention which trails he was considering hiking. If you still haven't heard from him by checkout time on Monday, unfortunately you'll also have to contact the police.

It's entirely possible that he just met someone on Friday night and spent the night at their place, so I wouldn't assume the worst just yet. 

[Lawrene0]

I think you have done all you can at this point, @Helen350 . Taking the key isn't a problem until his checkout time, and then, if he hasn't got in touch, you will need to ask Airbnb to try whatever backup number they have for him.

In the meantime, I do understand your worry that something has befallen him. I had a guest disappear mid-stay for a few days after saying she was going to spend the day at a nearby provincial park. Turned out her mum in Detroit (two hours away, and across the border) had a fall and she had to race home to take care of things.

Her host wondering whether she had been kidnapped was the last of her worries. It all turned out fine. 

Hope it does for your fellow, too. Will you let us know?

[Linda108]

@Helen350    I can understand your concern is going back and forth between concern for the integrity of your listing and the welfare of your guest. 

I live near Palm Springs USA and here in the desert there are wonderful hiking trails from beginner to expert.  More important is both the heat and the dryness of the area and most people are not aware how quickly they can become dehydrated or over heated.

I would imagine the guest might either turn off his phone or be out of signal range.  If this is a new traveler to Air BNB, it  might not cross his mind to keep in touch with you.  However, I would agree with @Anonymous  that you might contact the park service if you still do not hear back by check out time.

[Helen350]

@Linda108 "Back & Forth" - You nailed it! Rooted to laptop ALL day, (& half last night!) You have the danger of overheating - WE have the danger of hypothermia, with our famous wind & rain! @Anonymous  & @Lawrene0 : All those scenarios have crossed my mind..... Thanks for your encouragement, yours too Linda.

[Sarah977]

@Helen350  Because the guest is alone and inexperienced, I would definitely be concerned- he could have decided to explore off the beaten track, fallen and broken an ankle or something and be lying somewhere no one can see him. Yes, contact the park service. 

I home share and I actually get emergency contact information from my guests and ask them to text or phone me if they have decided to stay somewhere else for the night. None of them have considered this invasive and have in fact expressed appreciation that I'm concerned for their welfare.

[Helen350]

@Lawrene0 @Linda108 @Anonymous @Sarah977 RESOLVED!  - At 9.00 this morning, I  messaged & phoned him again. - No reply. At 9.30 I phoned the police to say he'd been missing TWO nights, & I did not know whether he was injured on a mountain or cosied up somewhere with a new found friend! At 10.15 I set off for church, and was 10 metres up the road, when along he comes, on foot! (Car at top of road, key & brief note "Change of plan" in hand, was going to put it thru letter box, presume wanted to avoid me!) I wound down the car window, & he was profusely apologetic for all the worry he'd caused; he never gave it a thought, & then had an unsuccessful attempt at contact. Said he does this, inpromptu decisions, never even told his parents he was going away. Gave me a kiss on the cheek, & said next time he stays, he'll keep me better informed! Said he had a great time on the mountain! When asked where he spent the night(s) he said "In a tent!" I joked about wondering if he'd met someone (or was dying on the mountain?) & he said "Yes", he was sharing someone's tent! I was just glad he was alive, & I said so!

Moral of the story anyone?

How to review?????!!!! 

[Sarah977]

@Helen350  I've been through similar scenes before, though only once with a guest, it was one night, and I knew she had friends in town she'd gone to have dinner and drinks with, so I wasn't overly worried. It seems callous not be the least concerned, but it's kind of a slap in the face when you've been so worried and the person just comes breezing in, all happy and "oh, so sorry". You should tell this guy to watch the movie "48 hours" to understand what can befall people who don't tell anyone where they're going or when they'll be back and don't expect anyone to worry about them.

As I said, I now get emergency contacts from guests- one thought was that if a guest disappeared and I called a family member, they might say "Oh, he does that kind of thing all the time, don't bother worrying about him."

[Linda108]

@Helen350   Glad it all worked out but kudos to you for caring!  I think a gentle rebuke in the review is called for.  Mention the lack of communication, probably related to lack of experience with the shared home accommodation.  Also mention his apology and that he probably won't make the same mistake.

[Patricia55]

Bl**dy hell @Helen350 , thanks for the update - phew! I've been following your post but didn't chip in as I would've probably inserted my over-anxious thoughts, which you didn't need!

Sure you're mightily relieved as things turned out ... but what a little twerp! I'd agree with @Linda108  regarding the review - a gentle rebuke at least, possibly stronger, considering all you went through. (Or, are some people just so oblivious to others, that it wouldn't occur to them that someone might worry about them... ? Nowt so queer etc...)

[Lawrene0]

I wouldn't rebuke him in the review at all, @Helen350 . It is not a rule that guests must let hosts know where they are.

I know! We worry. But that's on us, I think, not on the guests. 

Glad all is fine!

[Helen350]

That's an interesting issue, @Lawrene0 ...... On one level, I agree, & have asked myself whether I should have messaged him re his whereabouts till check out came & went...... Was I inappropriately intrusive, & acting like his mother, which is not my job? On  the other hand was the issue that he was here to climb mountains, & mountains can kill & injure.... In a whole place rental, I wouldn't have even known he stayed out 48 hours... but under my own roof, I felt a sense of responsibility towards him...(And him to me?????)  Maybe because I was an Outdoor Instructor for 6 years in my youth? (An overdeveloped sense of what can go wrong?) We hosts set store by communication. As maybe did the 'old style' Airbnber? @Linda108  made the point that it might not have occurred to him to get in touch or he might have been out of range? I like @Sarah977 's idea of asking guests to tell her if they are going to stay away for the night.. And I'm thinking of introducing a midnight curfew....

[Sarah977]

@Helen350  And if something bad had happened, his family would probably have said "What, you weren't even the least concerned that he disappeared for 2 days and nights? You didn't even think to phone the park rangers or the police?" And then Airbnb would have raked you over the coals.

A friend of mine went to Berlin with her husband, 17 year old son, and her son's same age friend . The friend said he was going to go out for a walk. When he wasn't back after an hour, my friend was worried. Her husband and son said she was being silly. More time went by, it was getting dark, and they went out to look for him and couldn't find him. She phoned the police and they told her they'd just found him, wandering around far from where they were staying, totally lost and a bit scared. He didn't know the address of the Airbnb where they were staying, hadn't taken his phone with him, and had completely lost his bearings..

[Lawrene0]

Oh, absolutely, @Sarah977 and @Helen350 . I don't think for a minute that you were wrong to worry, Helen, or to phone him and, ultimately, the police. Something bad could have happened to him. You were awesome. 

I just wouldn't, myself, call him to task for it in the public review. He's very likely learned his lesson after running into you on the road and seeing your relief. In my private note to my wandering guest, I said something like, "Once again, XX, really glad you were okay, and best to your mum." Something private along those "glad you were okay" lines, if you like, will remind him to give his next host a heads up, but won't hurt his future chances at booking.

In a perfect world...

[Helen350]

@Lawrene0 @Sarah977 @Patricia55 @Linda108 @Anonymous 

Both our reviews are now posted.

I thought about not even  mentioning the issue, being able to see Lawrene's point of view, but because I didn't feel I could give him 5* for communication, felt I needed to explain to future hosts, who might wonder why his average  was down. And if he goes walkabout when staying with future hosts, my review might help them... I ended up giving him 5* for house rules, 4* for cleanliness (shared bathroom issue) & 3* for communication (excellent pre-trip/non-existent  mid-trip) As his only other Airbnb stay yielded a 5* across the board review, I'm assuming his average will be enough to secure future bookings anywhere.

Thoughts anybody? Did I get it right? (Hope it didn't sound passive-aggressive!)