Guest's boyfriend attempted to break into my space in the middle of the night.

[Emily1491]

I’m a new host and just had a disquieting experience with guests. I have an old house that kind of rambles,  so to create a rental space I just installed locks on all the doors (on their side in the rental, on my side at the end of hallway, top of stairs etc). I do a sweep before guests come to make sure all doors are shut and locked. I just hosted a very young couple and did my usual sweep right before bed. When I woke up in the morning, I noticed the door at the top of the stairs seemed to have been opened to the reach of the chain lock and a piece of the wooden lip had been broken. I was confused but it didn’t occur to me that anyone would try to open it. When they checked out I found shoeprints going to all the connecting doors (my floors are very clean and so they were easy to see), and signs that someone had tried to open the doors. All my connecting doors are at the opposite ends of hallway/stairs from the Airbnb front door, so there would be no reason for anyone to walk that way except to access my part of the house. They otherwise were very quiet, polite, and left the space very tidy. I truly don’t think the young man to whom the footprints belonged meant to harm me or anything, just was entitled, possibly under the influence of something, and nosy and not too bright and wanted to see the rest of the house (I’ve got an elderly relative who has caused me endless angst by simply walking into unlocked houses if she thinks they are cool and she wants to see the inside). But at the same time, the idea that someone tried to break into my space while I was asleep kind of makes me sick to my stomach. I’m curious about what experienced hosts would do in this situation, short of installing drop bar locks, which I just started doing. I have not yet left a review, but at the moment am leaning towards an honest one.

[Brian2036]

@Emily1491 

Please leave an honest review.

This behavior is inexcusable.

[Emily1491]

Thank you!! I’m still somewhat in a state of shock over all this—it’s so far from how I would ever behave in someone’s home.

[Colleen253]

@Emily1491 Yes, circumstances dictate that it was likely the guest fiddling with the doors and snooping around. It seems you don’t have concrete proof though. If you mention it in the review, it’s likely to be removed. Just say you felt very uncomfortable with them and would prefer not to host again. Hit the ‘would not host again button.’ 

Put the best effort you can into thoroughly vetting your guests and learn what red flags to watch for. Preventing someone like this from booking is the best course going forward. New hosts are often prime targets for people looking to get up to no good . And yes, beef up your security. 

[Emily1491]

I don’t have cameras, but I made the doors, installed the locks, clean the space etc. I’m also the only one in the house, besides guests. I don’t see a way the door could have broken itself. This guest also had 15 rave reviews—how can I screen in such circumstances? 

[Mike-And-Jane0]

@Emily1491 Perhaps add bolts to the doors if you still feel uncomfortable. Locks can be opened but bolts cannot unless the door is physically broken down.

[Emily1491]

Yes, as I mentioned above, I’m installing brackets that hold bars across the doors—the only way to get through would be to saw through. This couple was under 25 and driving a name brand electric car—I don’t think they would know how to break down the door. This has really upset me because I checked them in and told them I lived right above, and this dude then waited til I was asleep and tried to break in upstairs. I don’t want to have to worry about whether a guest is trying to break into my living space! I’ve only had six other couples, 12 guests total, and while they have ranged from truly delightful to kind of slobby, not one of the others made me feel a bit uncomfortable or did anything inappropriate. Is this a common thing that hosts have to deal with??

[Lawrene0]

It's nothing I have had to deal with, @Emily1491 , and, pre-pandemic, I hosted a room in my house while also giving our treehouse guests access for water, etc. I've changed all that now, but not because anyone had been creepy like that. So not common here, but it can certainly happen. We're dealing with humans.

Installing the brackets is a great idea. If nothing else, it will help you sleep. I would do it if I had a similar setup.

Not a very smart sneak, is he. Shoes in the house. 

[Emily1491]

@Lawrene0 Thank you so much, this is very reassuring!! I think I'll leave a review saying what @Colleen253 recommended above, so that future hosts will have some warning, and in the private message tell the young woman who made the booking that I'm aware of what happened, in as nice and factual a way as I can manage. I have no idea of her knowledge and/or participation. Nope, not exactly cat burglar material--muddy shoeprints (it had been raining) all up the white stairs leading to the broken door and then to all the other doors, in a hallway only he and his girlfriend had access to. It's pure speculation, but I don't get the impression this young man had ever mopped a floor in his life. I don't think he would notice such trivial details. 

[Sarah977]

@Emily1491  I recall reading a post once where the home-share host had come home late at night to find the guest husband sound asleep in her bed. Of course she was shocked.

Turned out the guy was a sleepwalker, and he and his wife were mortified and super apologetic.

I don't think your guest was a sleepwalker, though, unless putting his shoes on is  something he does in his sleep.

[Emily1491]

@Sarah977 I’m sure there is some possibility that this was a sleepwalking incident, though I think it’s low. The afternoon after they broke the door and before I put two and two together I saw their car pull in and popped outside to make sure they knew how to operate the heat. They saw me and froze, and stared at me through the car windows for about 30 sec before getting out, looking for all the world like guilty kids who had been sent to the principal’s office. At the time I thought it was one of the oddest interactions I’ve ever had. In retrospect I’m sure they knew they had broken part of the door and thought I was going to chew them out/kick them out. 

[Mark116]

@Emily1491  Is it possible they were confused and thought that some of the doors might have been closets or rooms in their Airbnb?  Would it be worth it to get some 'private' signs and put them on those doors that go to your part of the house, or if you don't have it, put a layout map of the Airbnb space on the listing?

I want to think that they were 'exploring' or sleepwalking and not actually trying to break into your part of the property because that would be terrifying AND criminal.

[Emily1491]

@Mark116 I've been over and over this in my head and I just don't see how they could have innocently tried to get in--I checked them in and showed them the entire space and said "this is your front door, these two rooms and the bathroom are your space, and I'm right upstairs, I'm a quiet neighbor but please let me know if I'm disturbing you." I could maybe convince myself of that if they had only tried to get in the downstairs doors at the end of the hallway, but climbing a 20' flight of stairs that had nothing but a locked door at the top--I just can't see that as anything but deliberate. There are also three locked doors in the hallway that lead to my space, and he tried to yank open all of them (they are locked on my side with hook locks, and he pulled them so hard that the door tongue was outside the doorframe). I think a reasonable person would encounter a locked door and realize, oops--not go on to attempt another three. Also, if you broke a piece of a door by accident, wouldn't you explain and apologize?

As I said above, I don't think he meant me any harm--if I had to guess, I would say this was a young and pretty entitled idiot's idea of a funny prank on a host with too many rules for their liking, and I would not be surprised if various mood altering substances were at play. At the same time, I've been shooting up in bed at the least sound for the last two nights, and making sure the doors are triple locked. I live in a very nice, safe small town where I'm on a first name basis with all my neighbors and the most dangerous thing is the occasional bear. I've always felt safe and connected and this has really shaken me. I did update the rules telling people to please not try to enter my part of the house (in case that wasn't obvious), and it's a good idea to put signs on doors. I just finished installing extra locks and bars across doors, so now you would have to be a bodybuilder with power tools to break in.

[Sarah977]

@Emily1491  I believe you have a pretty clear assessment of what happened. The guest was being nosy, or perhaps was even checking around to see if there was anything worth stealing (this actually seems like a stronger possibility to me than just nosiness and I doubt he intended to assault you in your bed).

And people can do strange things when they're stoned from morning til night. When my daughter was 17, she lived on an island and had to walk past another guy's cabin through the bush to get to her little cabin. They became friends and would often share a bottle of wine or a coffee and some conversation.

Now this guy was in his 50's. She certainly didn't give him any indication that they were anything more than friends. She was an innocent teenager who was open and trusting. 

One day when she had come back for the weekend to my place, she said, "Mom, read this" and handed me a letter she had gotten from him. He went on for 8 pages about how she was the woman he'd been looking for all his life, how they were soul mates, and should be together, yadda yadda. 

This happened to several teenage girls on that island, with various men old enough to be their father. These guys would sit in their cabins, stoned all the time, fantasizing about the beautiful young women they knew and became divorced from reality. People referred to them as "bushed".

[Emily1491]

@Sarah977 I looked them up earlier today, and they seem to be professional influencers who come from some amount of wealth. Though that certainly doesn't mean they weren't looking to steal--who knows? I think once you attempt to break through a door you give up any claim to good intentions. I've worked with influencers and they all seem to have pretty acute boundary issues--they are not above breaking into spaces if they think they can get a cool photo out of it.

I really appreciate all the advice I've gotten on this conversation from experienced hosts--I feel like I have a calmer handle on what to do, and I'm crossing all my fingers and toes that I don't get another such guest.