How to appropriately review messy guests who take over your house

[Amy189]

I'm sure this has been semi covered in other conversations but I'm wondering more how to review guests who were messy and kind of took over the whole house. This has happened on a few occasions now, and I think I can definitely do some mitigating by being more clear in the orientation, in the written communication left for the guests, and in my house rules on the listing, however, I still need to review in such a way that other hosts will have a bit of a heads up. In all cases the people were very nice, (if anything in one case they were too chatty, making it difficult to leave for work or do work on my computer as they keep wanting to chat and show me things), so in light of that I don't want to leave a harsh review, but want to let other potential hosts know, they don't exactly leave the space 'as it was'. For some reason it's very common for people to leave lights on they are not using, to not lock the door when they leave (even though I have these two items bolded in the house rules sheet I leave in their rooms), and a bunch of other small things that end up adding up to big things, such as... leaving apple stickers on my placemats, leaving cupboard doors open in the kitchen, tea towels not folded back up, chairs pulled out of the kitchen table, and books etc. left in the main area.  I don't care what they do in the bathroom and bedrooms as I don't go in there, it's the shared space that's the problem as we all have to use it. In one case they took over so much it was difficult for me to even make myself tea in the morning as they were making eggs and coffee and tea and muffins... all at the same time.

I don't think these are horrible people, I think they may just not be super conscientious, and likely their own cleanliness standards are not exactly the same as mine. In one case I even had guests so comfortable in my home that they climbed over the back of the couch stepping on the cushions to sit on it (instead of just walking to it from the front of the couch) and sitting on the armrest section of the couch instead of the area  you are supposed to sit on. This in my opinion is definitely making yourself too comfortable! I'd like some guidance on how to word the review so that it's not super negative, highlights they were wonderful people, but also gives a little nudge to future hosts that they may make themselves just a little too comfortable and may not completely tidy up after themselves.

Thanks all!

[Farah1]

@Amy189 I would say something like "X stayed for # of days and was friendly. (put positive things here). However, we shared a different cleanliness standard and he left the room a little bit messy. He was not very courteous with the shared space and probably better suited an entire place listing where he does not need to share common space with the host." > this is if you want to be direct (I tend to be like this, I see no point in sugar coating review). If you think that is too harsh, you can always custom it to your liking.

I have similar experience.... one guest lay down on my couch with his feet up and stayed there for a while. He did not think there is anything "wrong" with it considering it is a shared space and maybe others wanted to use the couch as well. 

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Amy189

I actually have friends who are kind of like those guests you mentioned! LOL! They tend to be a bit oblivious (sometimes even clueless. sigh~) and don't mean any harm, but they do need to be reminded of boundaries every once in a while and deserve to be poked when they overstep the line. I've learned to be firm with these friends, or else they really do tend to "take over" my time/house if I let them.

Regarding the lights, I actually like to leave lights on around the house in the evening for a couple hours so that the house is not too dark. (Henry is the opposite so I go around turning lights on, and Henry goes around turning them off.) Regarding the door, you might want to consider investing in an electronic door lock (the type that locks automatically). I have one and it's great because I don't have to worry about guests not locking up properly. PLUS, guests know if they don't take the key with them, they will lock themselves out!!! So they end up having to be vigilant. And I make it clear I charge extra for lost keys because I need to call a service person to come and reconfigure/reset all existing digital keys.

For shared spaces, if you need a bit of privacy or dedicated use to get ready for work, then I think you should include it as one of your house rules. I personally don't like people who put their feet up on my coffee table or sit on the armrest of the sofa - and I am very blunt and direct to my friends when they make themselves too comfortable in my home to the extent they annoy me or make me uncomfortable - but I haven't had the need to include this in my house rules yet. 

I'm with @Farah1 regarding the review though. I'd probably keep it a bit shorter and say something like "X was friendly, eager to chat and to get to know the host which was appreciated, but did not seem used to sharing common spaces like the living room or kitchen with others." 

[Gerry-And-Rashid0]

@Amy189

Be careful - think twice or more about this. As you say...all very nice people, wonderful in fact is what you then say.... so it sounds to me like you need to be clearer on house rules and boundaries, not them. You could end up sounding like a very picky host.

Personally I read your list of 'sins' and found some of them to be less than trivial - not folding t-towels, leavnig an apple sticker on your placemat, mmmmm....honestly, this sounds like you are uncomfortable sharing a space with guests.

I would think about some key rules: eg - tell them when they arrive that they can use the kitchen for breakfast between x and x hours. So you have the space to yourself for breakfast.

Good luck

[Kate157]

@Amy189 you don't have to allow guests into your private spaces. When I rented a spare room on the same level my husband and I live on, I never told the guests to get out of my living room, but I did not encourage them to use it, either. In my opinion, they were paying for one room, nor a shared house. I usually would approach the guest who was in my living room with a polite "is there something I can help you with?" This seemed to let them know this space wasn't theirs. I also stopped offering kitchen privileges when guest came back from their day's outing at 9:00 or 10:00 or 11:00 p.m. And would start cooking. For me, this was not good. Noise in the kitchen and cooking smells that late were obnoxious. I never regretted this. It did not affect my bookings and I was much happier. You have to shape your guest's stay to make sure you are comfortable as well. 

[Sharion0]

I agree with you @Kate157, I have only been hosting for 4 months now, the last 30 days running at 93% occupancy rate ( front door swinging wide pen every few days:). I haven't run into any problems with people laying on my couch, talking when I'm working, taking over my kitchen ( I never have had kitchen priveledges). I think it's how I comport myself, I'm certainly friendly and helpful, but you are renting a room and private bathroom:).   

[Jeanne87]

As for the kitchen, i do not think it unusual it have all that going on at once if you are preparing a meal.  Perhaps allocating kitchen times.  I also has a friend who puts right in his house rules "furniture rules" perhaps adding those then you can simply state that guest did not folliw your furniture rules and they had been forewarned.

[Jeanne87]

Of course if they are only suppose to be renting the room I would make that clear in your ad. No kitchen or lr privledges. I think some airbnb hosts welcome the company.  It is not a uniform standard.  Not necessarily the guests fault.  I find a big difference in expectations between people in general.