How would you feel about this enquiry?

[Huma0]

Just wondering, as it was an immediate no from me...

Guest message:

"Hey, I currently work in London, but here from California. I’m clean and respectful. I’ve been looking at several places and shortlisted a few. This is one of them.
Just a few questions:
1. How’s the cell service and internet speed there? Is it good enough for video conferencing without disruptions?
2. Is it quiet? Can I hear the neighbors? And is there any maintenance/construction going on at the property or nearby?
3. How many people will I share the apartment with? Please include max possible.
4. Can I use the kitchen, washer, and dryer?
5. Is there a TV in the room?"

Doesn't sound that bad maybe? I have several problems with it though...

- Generic message where the guest doesn't bother to address me by name nor read my listing where several of his questions are already answered

- Number of questions which suggest he's going to be picky, high maintenance and impossible to please

- Has totally ignored the parts of the listing that request guests to send me specific information

Then his reviews...  most of which are very positive, except this one:

"It wasn’t easy to host X. First he wanted to check in 2 hours before. I told him I’ll do my best. At 1 pm he text me to check if the room was ready, check in is after 3, However, due to the extreme weather I told him the room will be ready at 1:30. When he arrived he insisted in me opening the garage, even though I explained it was locked and I don’t live there. The next day he complained about cameras in the house. I told him it is in the description, there are cameras towards every entrance of the house. He said he wasn’t comfortable and I gave him the choice to cancel the booking. He is very hard to please. The light was out and we gave him an extra lamp, as his request. Then he complained of the heat, I lowered it, then he asked me to come and help him open a window. I found that very strange, yet, I did, easily. He said he wanted all the windows open, and the temperature outside was below freezing. I suggested him to turn on the ceiling fan for what he replied it will be too cold. It seems that nothing was enough for him. On checkout day he wanted to checkout two hours late, even though there is a poster explaining the fees for late checkout. I gave him a discount fee and he paid, although he bargained, but at this point I just wanted him out of my house. Then I got pictures of some yellow sauce splashed in the blinds of one window and the comforter, I have in the welcome poster in the room that if you chose to bring food to the room and leave any stains, there will be a cleaning fee if $25. I requested the fee and he declined."

Now, there are some things in that host's review that one could question, but the host has many, mostly great reviews and excellent ratings. Also, the complaints from the host kind of ring true to me when you read the guest's initial message to me. There's definitely a sense of entitlement... On the other hand, perhaps he had some bad experiences at Airbnbs and is now just trying to be cautious before booking (I generally don't mind people asking questions and actually prefer it).

Maybe I am being too British... We don't tend to be so direct and demanding.

Anyway, I already told the guest my listing was not a great fit for him but out of interest, was wondering what others think of this. Would you accept or decline:?

[Sandra126]

I would have accepted as long as booking wasn't too long. But he wouldn't have gone ahead, because of not being able to guarantee internet. Will never make that kind of promise. Where I am, a storm will cause longish  interruptions a few times a year and I don't want to risk it.

[Huma0]

@Sandra126 

Likewise, I would never guarantee the WiFi. It's rare, but yes, external factors beyond my control could affect it.

[Sarah977]

@Huma0  Nope, I wouldn't have accepted. It's all about him. He couldn't even trouble himself to address you by name. And you're obviously supposed to be honored that you got shortlisted. 🙂 

It's fine when guests are clear about their needs, it helps to determine if they'll be a good fit. But not when they treat you like an answering machine instead of a human- someone who is obliged to answer all his questions because you (and the 20 other shortlisted hosts) have nothing better to do with your time and are desperate for his booking.

Yes, Americans tend to be direct, but that doesn't exclude being personable. I actually appreciate people who come right to the point, so you don't have to try to figure out what they really mean, I'm like that myself,  but one can do that and still incorporate a personal element.

Not sure what he based his shortlist on, but the message is totally generic, obviously sent out to multiple hosts and he doesn't even have the manners or savvy to tweak it to each listing. For instance, he refers to your listing as an "apartment". Which it so obviously isn't.

He skims the listings for price and location and quickly skims the rest (maybe), then shortlists, but doesn't make notes on each individual listing. He books home shares because they're cheaper than an entire place, which he'd really prefer, not because he likes or is suited  to the home-share experience.

There was a post here, maybe a year ago, from some guy who claimed he was also host, even though there were no listings on his profile (he gave some cagey, arrogant, enigmatic answer to that when questioned, about listing on  different profiles) who had a blog he was trying to get people to click on the link for, where he advised guests on how to get a discount. The advice on his blog (I checked it out, of course) was shockingly terrible- guests who followed it would end up sending a message like you received, that most hosts would see red flags all over, although your inquirer wasn't angling for a discount (yet).

This blogger was telling guests to send out inquiries to 20-40 listings, to point out how it would be good business sense for the host to accept their long term booking at a discount, because some money is better than no money, and a ton of other bad advice that would be offensive to hosts and just waste their time.

Your inquirer sounds like he has the same mentality as that blogger and has probably read those type of blogs. (Maybe he writes them- that's what he does online all day!)

That one bad review I would believe, in spite of the other good reviews. He's likely an okay guest, as long as he gets exactly what he wants. I'd bet that when he encounters hosts who can't be messed with, he backs off and behaves himself; when he senses he can be demanding and have the host comply, he takes full advantage. The sense I got from that review you quoted is that the host was one who is rather passive and doesn't know how to be firm with pushy guests. So he just kept pushing.

[Huma0]

@Sarah977 

Yep, the listing title even says 'house'. You'd be surprised at how many guests message me referring to my 'apartment' though.

The guest's profile says, "Through my Airbnb experience, I wish to meet interesting people and build long-lasting relationships all around the world." However, his message seems to contradict that. It's totally impersonal. Maybe he just wants to get his basic questions out of the way before engaging in chit chat, but at least have the courtesy to read the listing and only ask questions that are not covered there. He should not need to ask me if he can use the kitchen for example.

His third question indicates that he might have an issue about having other guests here, because he hasn't asked who he will be sharing with, but rather what is the maximum number so he can decide if it's too many.

Also, of the six hosts who have left reviews for him, he's only bothered to review three of them. Maybe he was dissatisfied (they all look like very nice places) and didn't want to say anything negative or maybe he couldn't be bothered. The former would just confirm he's a very picky guest. The latter would confirm that he doesn't care too much about other people. If you wanted to build long-lasting relationships, leaving a review for the host when they have done so for you, would be a good start.

I think you are spot on about the host perhaps letting this guest push her around. Her reviews are mostly excellent, but here is her response to one that mentioned the kitchen being very dirty:

"X, we apologize for the unclean kitchen and will make sure to check again next time. We rushed when you asked if you could check in 5 hours before the checking time and focused in disinfecting. We apologize if the counter was sticky, and as for the dishes we had to leave them in the dishwasher so you could check in earlier. We still had it ready 2 hours before checking in, but I learned my lesson, when it comes to cleaning and disinfecting we can’t rash to allow early check in."

I would absolutely never agree to let a guest check in five hours early if it meant I couldn't complete the cleaning. I have had guests really harass me about checking in hours early and my answer is always, no, no, no. I will not budge on that one at all unless most of the cleaning has already been done the day before.

You can tell by the other reviews that the host is extremely kind, attentive and accommodating, but maybe too accommodating. Whenever there is some sort of problem, her response indicates that she bent over backwards, e.g. early check in, late check out, extra discounts and so on.

It seems to me that, as in the case of the guest who recently left me 3 stars, saying yes to the guests who keep asking for more, more, more, doesn't necessarily mean they will leave you better ratings. I agreed to let the guest drop her bags early providing she would arrive on time (she was late), went to meet her round the corner and took her bags to the house, had her cases carried to her room, agreed to let her pick up her bags later if she would check out on time (she checked out late) but she still rated me down for check in!

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

@Huma0  he lost me at "He said he wanted all the windows open, and the temperature outside was below freezing" 

Of course, I open the windows at least 2x a day for at least 10 min even when is below freezing and I love when guests do the same and don't accumulate humidity but this sounds like he kept the windows open all the time with the heating turned on. NO WAY... he would cost more than he would pay for the room

[Huma0]

@Branka-and-Silvia0 

Yes, absolutely. That was the biggest turn off for me.

I recently had builders working on an upstairs bathroom. It was freezing outside (actually not literally below freezing, but cold enough by London standards) but they needed the windows open most of the time for ventilation. Even though they kept the bathroom door closed and the heating was on, the whole house was glacial. 

That was a necessary evil but, if a guest was doing that, it's not just going to upset me, but upset other guests who want to keep warm. Plus, as you've said, cost wise, it's just not worth it. We are in the middle of an energy crisis and gas bills are set to go up around 40%!

[Helen3]

Definite no from me based on his inquiry and the  review @Huma0 

[Anonymous]

@Huma0  That would be a definite "no" from me at the first question.  

A good guest staying in a shared house would ask whether his need to work and videoconference in the home would be disruptive to others. A bad homestay guest is only concerned with how other people may be disruptive to him. 

In just a couple sentences, this guest outed himself as too selfish, inconsiderate, and entitled for a shared home. He's too much of a cheapskate to book the private home that he clearly needs, but he has no respect for the value of others' time which his inquiries are wasting.

[Huma0]

@Anonymous 

If I was planning to work from home while staying with a host (and/or other guests), I would ask the host if that was okay, but a lot of people just assume that it is, as that's a question I'm rarely asked. They just ask if there's a desk, good WiFi etc.

However, most guests go about it in a much more personable way, e.g.

"Hi Huma, I found your listing and love what you've done with the place! I'm so and so, and will be coming to London for such and such. I will be working from home a few days a week. Is there a desk in the room as I couldn't see it from the photos or is there another space where I might be able to work?" 

If this guest was planning to do video conferencing during San Francisco working hours though, for sure that would be disruptive to others and he definitely should have asked if that was acceptable, not just assume that it is.

It was the intro of this enquiry that bothered me the most. While he is being open about the fact that he's considering a few listings, he hasn't bothered to personalise the messages in any way. It's clear from the questions also that he's only glanced at the listings, but he expects me and everyone else to spend the time answering his questions. As you say,  he has no value for other people's time.

[Sarah977]

@Huma0  As he comes across as so fussy and demanding, it's quite possible that he does read through all the listing info, to determine whether it should qualify for his shortlist.

But then, because he's entitled and thinks hosts' time is worth nothing, he just sends the same generic message to all hosts, composing it to encompass everything that's important to him, rather than tailoring it to the individual listing.

[Huma0]

@Sarah977 

Yes, that's totally plausible too. It would make more sense for such a fussy guest to read through everything in detail. 

On the other hand, some of the fussiest guests I have hosted had clearly not read the listing at all, missing super basic stuff like the fact that I actually live here or that I have cats 😞

Entitled people often feel entitled not to read the information provided as their time is far too valuable. They just expect things to be to their liking. Even though this guest is double checking the things he sees as a priority, doesn't mean he wouldn't then find fault with other things that are clearly stated on the listing.

I won't be hosting him, so I guess I'll never know...

[Anonymous]

@Huma0 I have yet to host in the context of the pandemic, so I guess some of the etiquette and expectations around working from a homestay have changed. I've had a lot of visitors who were in Berlin for work purposes, but usually it was stuff that happened outside of the house. The opera singers who warmed up their voices in the shower before an audition, the actor who recruited me to play a robot femme fatale in line readings for what must have been a super-low-budget sci-fi, the DJ who stored more vinyl in my living room than I've ever seen in a record store to prepare for his 12-hour set. None of these people explicitly asked in their requests whether their unusual needs would disrupt the household, but they all communicated with the kind of relaxed warmth that made me feel like whatever stuff they got up to would just make the weekend a little more interesting. And it definitely did.

I don't think I'll ever have this feeling about people who want to appropriate a shared home with strangers as their full-time remote office. I'm sure this arrangement has been a big help to some hosts when tourism fell apart, but I'm still attached to the idea that if you want to be welcomed into someone's shared living space, you should at least convey some appreciation for how personal that is. I can totally relate to how the generic nature of that guy's canned message rubbed you the wrong way, and when I look back on my worst guests (who also left the lowest ratings), I can see from their first messages that they were only concerned with what extra favors they could squeeze out of us, and no consideration for what a weirdly intimate thing it is to share a rather small apartment with two strangers and their dog for a few days. My ratings plummeted when I got spooked by Airbnb's threats around declining requests from jerks, but were always great when I just accepted the ones whose communications made me feel comfortable.

[Huma0]

@Anonymous 

I guess I am more used to people working from home as I host long-term guests and many of these are postgraduate students who don't need to go to that many classes. It also helps that the house is large and split over four floors so we're not in each other's way too much. Although I don't love it when most or all of the guests are home all day, that's something I did have to get used to as a 'new normal', especially as the majority of guests I've had since the pandemic started have been local professionals in need of a temporary home.

It sounds like you have certainly had a lot of interesting experiences. Some of the situations you describe could definitely have been problematic if the guests themselves had not been so likeable. Interesting that none of them asked if it was okay but if often people assume that what's 'normal' for them is pretty 'normal' for others. If hosting has taught me anything, it's to not make that assumption! 

[Huma0]

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@Anonymous wrote:when I look back on my worst guests (who also left the lowest ratings), I can see from their first messages that they were only concerned with what extra favors they could squeeze out of us, and no consideration for what a weirdly intimate thing it is to share a rather small apartment with two strangers and their dog for a few days. 

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Yes, I think this is often true. My least favourite guests of all time actually started by sending me a nice message, with just a few questions but, once the booking was made the long list of extra favours started flooding in and, once they were here, it went from extra favours to demands. They wanted me to be their cook, concierge, maid, errand girl, travel agent, you name it.

Although I don't remember the red flags being there right from the start, you are right in that they often are. You can tell that the guest's perspective is just that they are paying for a space/service and the fact that they are sharing your home hasn't even crossed their minds.

[Sarah977]

@Huma0  Interesting what the guest wrote about himself in his profile.

I have noticed that the type of people who see everything as all about them also seem to have a serious lack of self-awareness. They are completely clueless as to how they affect others.

I've seen this a few times on  this forum. Posters who can't handle anyone disagreeing with them, who think they are always right, and instantly go on attack mode, saying really vile things to other posters, to the extent that the moderators block out a lot of their post.

Then you check out their profile, and they describe themselves as "kind" and "easygoing". 🙂