Hurtful Private Feedback from Recent Guests

[Susan653]

Hi all,

Apologies in advance that this is more a vent than a request for advice, but I'm upset and I know only other hosts will understand.

A couple of weeks ago, I hosted a woman, her sister, and her niece. The guest had originally booked for her two sisters, but the older one fell and broke her pelvis. The guest contacted me to say she'd be cancelling, but then decided at the last minute to follow through on the reservation. I wish now she HAD cancelled.

 Upon arrival, the guest informed me that the apartment was "dirty." I asked her to show me, and she pointed out that the track for the shower door wasn't clean enough. She also said the outside of the shower door felt "weird" and that the floor of the shower wasn't clean. This was news to me, and the first time I'd ever had complaints about the bathrooom, which, of course, I clean thoroughly before each and every guest. Unfortunately, the fixtures are old and the shower is a fiberglass one I inherited, which, on its best day, never looks as sparkly it would if it were porcelain tiled and glazed.  The guest made a point to tell me, after complaining about the bathroom, that her niece/fellow guest ". . . was the main housekeeper for the president of (some college I'd never heard of),  so SHE knows what 'clean' is." I apologized and promised to re-clean the bathroom while they went out to dinner, which I did, while my children waited for me to make their dinner. Needless to say, I was totally freaked out and stressed for the rest of their stay, worrying about how this would affect her review. Midway through the reservation, I left some local freshwater taffy, a mason jar with flowers from my property, and a note to say I hoped they were enjoying their stay in a little card hand-drawn by my older son. I do leave little treats now and again for guests,  "just because," but this time, I felt desperate when doing it. Not a great feeling. Needless to say, I was relieved when they finally left.

She texted to say thanks for the taffy and wrote a fairly nice comment in the guestbook. They certainly left the apartment ship shape (yay?). And she left a review right away, but I waited until tonight (one day before the review window closed) to leave mine.  I couldn't leave a negative review because they really hadn't done anything bad. They more or less observed my house rules, didn't leave a mess, and were good communicators, so I gave them a good review, although I didn't rave about them in the comments--just said they were nice guests who left the place tidy.  And then it was time to read her review. The public comments were fine, but the star rating was 4-star. This didn't suprise me, and I figured it could have been worse. It was her private feedback that really bummed me out. She said she appreciated the "little touches" I provided, but then:

"However, I feel I needed to be completely honest and report on our feelings about the other things. On the previous screens. The outside of a property is the first thing one sees and with me and my family it did not make a good impression. Every time we returned to the place and I saw the outside, I felt so bad that I chose it, especially since the whole choice was mine and not the quests with me. They were not at all impressed as I wanted them to be.”

I know I shouldn't take this personally, but it's hard not to. It's true my house doesn't have the greatest curb appeal. It has old, faded vinyl siding I can't afford to replace, though I'd dearly love to rip it all off and rehab the mid-century shingling underneath. I'm a single parent and my income comes from hosting, freelance copywriting, and transcription work. My ex owes over $7k in support payments. I clean the Airbnb myself and mow and landscape the property myself because I can't afford to hire people to do these things. And the property, while it can get a little weedy now and again, has lovely perennial shrubs and flowers and mature trees everywhere. I always hope that helps make up for the house and attached apartment's somewhat careworn exterior--and that the care I take INSIDE is what counts most. My reviews seem to prove this out, but it still hurts to get this kind of "feedback" about something I truly can't afford to improve. I guess I should be more thankful she didn't put that in her public review. 😞

[Helen427]

hello @Susan653 

There's an old saying one of my first boyfriends told me when I first started out renting away from home, the roof leaked, he said not to worry about it, It's the warmth of a person inside who counts not outward appearances of a house.

Another good phrase to remember is, 'What you think of me is none of my business" The same could be said about how your home may be perceived to be by someone who is obviously shallow

Hang in there, focus on all the positive Guests and people in your life & the pleasure your beautiful garden gives to you, those who stop by to admire it & the living creatures in it who take delight in there home.

Oh and when you use the bathroom, think of the Guest as you flush your toilet & flush their negative attitude down the sewerage system.

All the best

Central To All Home & Location

[Susan653]

LOL, wonderful advice, @Helen427 , especially the visual of flushing the negativity down the toilet! Thank you. 🙂

[Rosemarie9]

Your home looks lovely. She was just a miserable cow looking to spread her misery.

Ps. I love your resident turtle friends! Keep up the great work you are doing, don't let the likes of her get you down. 

[Susan653]

Aww, thanks! And yes, we love our snappies and are on the lookout for Mom, who lays her eggs around this time each year. I didn't even realize she was doing it until a neighbor mentioned to me he'd seen a huge turtle crossing the road from my house a couple of summers ago. Then last year, I was lucky enough to see her in the driveway, heading back toward the brook, after she'd finished. I held traffic for her, but after making it across, she got wedged between two rocks on her way down the embankment, so I called upon my interpid neighbor to release her, which he did. The kids and I figured out approximately when the babies were due to hatch and they did hatch exactly when expected, hence the photos in my listing. Yay, Nature!! 🙂

[Helen3]

Hello @Susan653 

I am sorry you have had such a difficult experience. I know it is hard but try not to focus on this guests private comments but instead focus on all the other lovely guests you have had.

As you say the public review could have been so much worse 🙂

Do you have photo of the front of your property in your listing photos - this helps to manage expectations. 

And take your ex back to your relevant court for the child maintenance - he should be supporting his children and just think what you could do with $7000 ! to support your kids.

[Susan653]

Thanks so much for the kind words! Not to worry, I've got a court date scheduled next Thursday to deal with the ex's support arrearage as well as the money he also owes for piano lessons, summer camps, and little league (baseball), among other things. And then there's the fact that he's trying to block my older one from attending a fantastic high school to which he was accepted  and was offered a merit scholarship and a chunk of financial aid (and I'm not even asking him to contribute to the tuition balance). Yeah, the ex is a winner, alright.

I'm going to see if I can get a good photo of the exterior of the apartment. It's a little awkward because it's attached to the side of the house and there's a tree sort of in front of it. I never thought it looked terrible until this person and, thanks to the perspectives I'm getting here, I'm relaxing about it and realizing it's more her issue than my house's. 🙂

---

[Rachel0]

@Susan653 Your listing looks lovely and welcoming and that is what matters.  Don't take any notice of one stupid woman who was unkind and bitter - just look forward to your next guests.

[Julie143]

I think it’s sad that the woman bases the success of the trip on how “impressed” her family members were with the outside of the rental. Probably some weird family dynamics there that have nothing to do with you or your house.

Your listing looks like a cozy and nicely decorated space. I like how the decor ties in with the location.

In my own listing I use the phrase “modest family home,” because we have the dated siding and less than spectacular landscaping. Maybe you could use some similar wording.

The first guest review I received mentioned that the house is modest on the outside but high quality things on the inside. I was actually glad he said that, because it helps to manages expectations of future guests.

[Susan653]

@Julie143 , I very much like "modest family home"; thanks for the suggestion, I think I'll update and add to the listing. 🙂 Most of my guests have a very positive reaction the minute they walk through the door--maybe because the outside makes them think it's a dump and they're pleasantly surprised, LOL. I'm just glad the vast majority of people are able to see beyond the literal surface of the house. 

[Thomas1033]

@Susan653  Hi, I think the facts that your places are fairly well booked up speaks for itself.  We have a great place at cheapest going rate but we have stairs to the third floor. It is what it is.  Well our very nice guests who stayed with us last week were kind enough (not) to mention that in the public review.  I had gathered he didn’t read the description, house rules either when he instant booked.  He even said “saw the baby crib and booked it” ugh!!!  Vinyl siding can be successfully painted.  Pressure wash it first.  Use light color.  Hate my mint green siding on my historic house too!!  Yvonna (cohost)

[Emilia42]

It makes me sad that people are this petty. My house is in a similar situation. It's big and very old and has tons of paint chipping off the two front sections closest to the road. Estimates to paint are around twenty thousand dollars. We are not paying for that right now but instead have made improvements like the completely renovated apartment, new furnace, etc. While 99% of my guests have been very happy and great, I've still had people that were "scared" by the outside or left me business cards for painters.

I would never dare put judgment on some else’s home; you never really know their situation.

[Susan653]

OMG, business cards for painters?? I can't even. Thank goodness for the 99% of wonderful guests. I've had two groups stay since the miserable ones, and they were all excellent people whose positivity made me feel so much better. 🙂

Your house is so lovely and charming--and those lake views!! I have old house envy and wouldn't care a whit about the paint. People can be so weird sometimes.

[Dennis264]

My house hasn't been painted for 15 years, because I'm going to have to rip off the siding to insulate it with insulation board on the outside --- when I have the $30k dollars to do so.  But the AirBnB part of the house is spotless.

[Helen427]

@Dennis264 

You have a delightful Heritage Home, I checked out your listing.

Are the walls inside the original ones?

Or have they been plastered with GIB board?

Sometimes you can get inside wall insulation installed, I don't recommend any of those synthetic ones though as I don't think they are that good or healthy.

Nothing beats a good wall paper in a home, a fireplace roaring on a winters day/ evening.

Maybe scout around in second hand shops and get some wool rugs made from carpet of the era of your home to keep it a bit more warmer in winter.

Has your family heritage home ever been carpeted?

All the best

Central To All Home & Location