I would like your opinion on this response to my truthful review please.

[Mary-Ann0]

I have read many times here in the Community Center to please tell the truth about inappropriate behavior by guests so to give a heads up to future hosts.

So I left a truthful review and now I have an issue with my guest's public response to my review.  I feel my review was appropriate and because Airbnb asks us to tell the truth and other hosts want to hear the truth ... well I told the truth in my review and this is what happened.

My review:

------ and her husband --- were quiet and unobtrusive guests; and they “didn't need a thing" the entire time they stayed. Except for a few short and cordial chats I didn't see much of them for they were busy relaxing in the sun and out keeping to their vacation agenda for the entire month they stayed. I was very happy to see that they partook of the citrus and used the apartment to the fullest; appreciated the warm weather and “enjoyed" the place. ------- obliged me and took a current picture of the potted plants off the patio porch and also of a quail – thanks -----! And --- even replaced a part that broke inside the toilet tank and also cleared the spout aerator of mineral deposit buildup; boy, how I appreciate that! Thanks so much Don and thanks for the nice remarks shortly after you arrived saying my place was “so clean and everything". I wish I could leave it at that but I can't because unfortunately the apartment was not left reasonably clean and anywhere near like it was found; and then there was damage to some costly but necessary items I am very sorry to say. I can say though that we were able to work out the damage costs in a civilized way - but because of the type of damage and the way the apartment was left, I think that ------- may be a guest who is better suited for hotels rather than Airbnb.

Guest's response:

Before we left MaryAnn's apartment, we swept the floors (with a broom that should have been replaced several years ago), tried to vacuum the very aged carpet with a small electric broom that would not pick up any dirt let alone small pieces of thread, washed all the dishes (there is no dishwasher to get the coffee smell out of the coffee cups), emptied the refrigerator of all food, emptied the trash, and gathered up the dirty sheets and towels. We did not scrub the bathroom, but we wiped it down. When we rented the apartment, we were charged a CLEANING FEE and that money should be used to have a professional cleaning service in to prepare for the next guests. If MaryAnn expects her guests to leave the apartment spic and span--then she should be charging a CLEANING DEPOSIT, and doing a walk-through at the end of a stay, so that the money can be refunded to guests who do the cleaning for her. The damaged item was a sheet with a K-Y Jelly spot on it, that Mary Ann says she could not get out-possibly she needs to change laundry detergent. We paid for a new set of sheets. After the nasty private feedback that I have gotten from MaryAnn, I will not ever recommend her place to anyone. And I can only say that if she continues to treat her guests in this manner once they are gone, it won't be long before cleaning will not be a problem, because she will not have any guests to clean up after!

Now I have this user's angry nasty response that I feel is inappropriate because she referred to "K-Y Jelly" as the stain on the sheets and in my review I never mentioned "sheets" so I feel that mentioning the damage as a stain on the sheets does not fit and a little bit vulgar.  Also it is a tad threatening because of the angry hostile tone and the threat of "she will not have any more guests to clean up after" statement.   The damage costs were resolved in the resolution center in which the guest wanted to “bargain” and not have to pay so much and so I did and she agreed to it and she should not be saying that I “made her pay for new sheets” it is not the way it happened.  And it was not a “spot” it was a large stain of I don’t know what on the fitted sheet and also on a matching pillow case of a good set of sheets; and also she lied about wiping down the bathroom and cleaning up too.  Then the ditty about cleaning fees is not the way Airbnb works that I know of.  And her complaint about my private feedback was exaggerated and uncalled for because it was private and not public – but now she has gotten the public’s attention. I believe this is very ugly and not only reflects badly on the guest but reflects badly on Airbnb because of the "K-Y Jelly" statement, the vehemently hostile tone, the threat of “no more guests to clean up after” and the complaints about cleaning fees and private feedback which are both sanctioned by Airbnb. I think if Airbnb wants reviews to be truthful then they should not let a guest lash back at a host with this kind of “kitchen sink” rage filled tirade for being truthful in, what I thought, an appropriate way.  My review is decent - the response from my guest is not.

I am open to all suggestions and feedback about this.  How could this have been prevented? Thank you.

[Wendy-and-Markus0 · Accepted solution]

@Mary-Ann0:

I agree with what others have mentioned with regards to suggesting you write shorter reviews in the future, if the issue was resolved, I wouldn't recommend mentioning it. It is tricky to have guests use the same towels/sheets etc for longer stays. Did you provide replacements in the unit?

My suggestions:

Shorter Review: ------ and her husband --- were quiet, helpful, and unobtrusive guests. Thanks so much Don and thanks for the nice remarks shortly after you arrived saying my place was “so clean and everything". Glad to know they enjoyed our unit as much as they did during their month long stay.

They helped you with something and in return there was a grease mark on one of the sheets. It happens.

-For month long stays, offer a weekly light housekeeping service: freshen sheets/towels, clean the bathroom (especially), and touch up in the kitchen type deal. Or consider offering a full on cleaning service every 2 weeks. Whether you build it into your nightly rate or state that guests are responsible for a 2nd cleaning fee for month long stays in your rules. This helps protect your home and the things in it.

-While we hope everyone knows the golden rule to wash the dishes one uses, that cannot be assumed. If this is an expectation you have, I would add it to your house rules.

-If for some reason the guest refuses the weekly or bi-monthly housekeeping service, you can either make it a non-negotiable item OR expect for your home to need a deeper cleaning than usual.

I don't want to judge you on your $100 cleaning fee (we charge $50 for a studio and pay our housekeeper $60, we recognize others in our area charge farless but I am not willing to compromise quality, dependability, and trusthworthiness that the job will get done right each and every single time.) During a few longer stays we have had, we have offered housekeeping on a weekly or every 10 days or so.

With the disclaimer that I am not trying to judge you on your cleaning fee, I did check similar listings in your area, the first that popped up under entire home was a 4 bedroom house which accommodates 8 people, they charge a $150 cleaning fee. Maybe the guests felt justified they paid a "premium cleaning fee" and felt them taking out the trash, clearing the fridge, rinsing the dishes etc was enough after a month long use.

Even if our listing offered a full on kitchen (we don't) our housekeeper would still be replacing and or washing all the dishes/utensils etc provided in our unit.

Just some thoughts:)

[Dave-and-Deb0]

Hi @Mary-Ann0,

I am always leary about providing feedback as to these types of questions often lead to the original poster taking offense but here goes.

I think you went into way too much detail here @Mary-Ann0 and opened yourself up to this type of response.  I am not sure that the guest's response is innapropriate as they are responding to what you wrote.  I also do not feel that this guest threatened you by his/her statement.  I would not have brought up the "damage" especially since they paid for new sheets and you were made whole again.  Next time be brief in your review.  

She actually left you a great review and did not mention the fact that they "replaced a part that broke inside the toilet tank and also cleared the spout aerator of mineral deposit buildup".  I hope you reimbursed them for that since they replaced your sheets.

If I was this guest, I would contact Airbnb and have them remove the review since you have commented on something that was taken care of.  I might argue that it violates "Content that refers to an Airbnb investigation" but not sure they would consider this an investigation.

Now, am I going to regret giving feedback?

[Mary-Ann0]

Hi @Dave & Deb and thank you for your feedback - I for one am grateful for it.  You see I am a truth nut sometimes to my own detriment but I do sleep pretty good.

Of course I expect the place to need cleaning – that is a given – but there is a limit and I feel strongly other hosts need to hear this otherwise we will never really be supporting each other in the true sense – never.  And we need to support each other because Airbnb doesn’t.

The truth is that when I saw the apartment after they left; I honestly felt used and violated and because I have been doing this for 12 years now it takes a lot to make me feel that way.  They paid only $50 cleaning and booked (last year after I first joined) the entire apt. for 1 month for $46 a night.  And yes they took out the trash and removed their food from the fridge but the place was filthy, furniture had been moved and not put back - there were copious amounts of tiny little pieces of thread all over the place, ground in to the outdoor mat and kitchen rugs from her hobby she brought, and it took hours to pick all of it out - and yes the vacuum would not remove it because it was rubbed in and had to be hand picked out! I gagged when I walked into the bathroom and my cleaning person complained - we had to talk about what the charge would be it this happened again (the bottom of the tub was black!) The carpet was recklessly and irresponsibly dirty (had been freshly shampooed) and there was no time to shampoo it again before the next guest so it was most distressing to me - I ended up down on my knees, hand rubbing it. The dishes were not washed only rinsed, and the stain on the sheets was large stain of I don’t know what, NOT a spot, and it looked to me more like a Vaseline greasy kind of stain not K-Y Jelly!

And honestly I agonized on this for 12 days and I did not know what her review said - she left it first and after having them here for an entire month I thought maybe she would be a complainer and mention it so I wanted to mention it from my perspective and be honest but tried to tread lightly and give her husband credit where credit was due.  And btw I did offer to reimburse the husband when he told me what he did but he said no, it was miniscule and that I bought him a membership to the Rec Centers.

I do have Airbnb management team working on this right now because I don't feel I was the party going into the unnecessary "too descriptive" detail there and I really wanted to mention in my review that we worked things out in a "amicable" way.  I never mentioned “sheets” as the damaged item and I think I was proper about it and after this entire ordeal I feel stronger than ever that this woman should not be Airbnb person rather a hotel vacationer.

And you didn't see the private feedback she left me - it was condescending and it was not about anything I could do anything about "or improve” either for that matter!  But I am not about to bring it out in to the public arena, exaggerate it, even lie about it and then leave a "kitchen sink" public attack on a truthful review.  All of her accusations in her tirade are way overstated and so feel (to me) like a vicious attack. And to tell the truth I was honestly expecting an apology for the damage – I feel that would have been the right thing to do – it is what I would have done. 

Don’t you think all she had to do was say something like “sorry for the damage” and “I’m glad we could work it out too” and it would have been done with?  There would be no reference to “K-Y Jelly” on “sheets”, no derogatory remarks about my carpet, my brooms, my vacuum, no CAPS and rant about “CLEANING FEE” vs. “CLEANING DEPOSIT”, no judgmental criticism and lecture about what I should expect and what I should not expect, no over exaggeration about what they “paid” for, no lie about my private feedback (although I was blunt I was not “nasty”) and no negative insinuation that I am being petty and if I continue to do it I won’t “have any guests to clean up after”.

I still feel strongly that this diatribe from this guest was uncalled for but thanks again for your feedback and I welcome more of it.

Sincerely,

Mary Ann

[Ma0]

there is a way to tell the truth with out being offensive to your guests. Also use of compassion and kindness go a long way.

your guest was more then nice to you and you might have should taken it into consideration before leaving them a nasty

review. On top, we all know KY stains can be remove. 

[Mary-Ann0]

@Ma0

I am the host - I wrote the review.  I think you are mixing us up.  My review is not "nasty" as you say; and I did consider the husband's effort and even gave credit and "consideration" for it at length in my review.

And yes, it was definitely not a K-Y Jelly stain, I never wrote that - I know that and so does this guest!  She wrote that in to shock people and so people like you would think that was what it was.  Isn't this so interesting how this all works? - if you re-read my review you will see that I did not even mention sheets nor that they were stained nor let alone that it was K-Y jelly!

I want to thank you Margo very much for this reply because you have proved exactly my point and what I have been trying to get at for a month now with all these comments; trying to show what harm a deceitful hateful guest can do and what damage they can be capable of in their responses and also reviews.  You fell for it and allowed that guest to accomplish exactly what she was trying to do with that deceitful K-Y Jelly statement and way over-done hostel response.

May I suggest that you re-read my post and my review so that you can see you are mistaken about who wrote what.  Or, if you want to defend this guest's behavior then you are on the wrong board - this is for the feedback and the support of New Hosts. 

The support of guests is on a different board all together I presume.

Thanks again,

Mary Ann 

[Ma0]

seems you like truth so you got it and obviously you do not like it. It is clear you did not experiance guests from hell if you think a stain and some threads in the carpet is such a big deal.

[Mary-Ann0]

**Update **

Airbnb decided to let the response stand believe it or not.

Please listen up people.

Other hosts should be protected from this guest – and now I actually fear for them because can't you see how violent and angry this over-reactive response is?  I gave Airbnb a heads-up in private feedback to them (as to how unusually rude this person was), I wish I had told them I thought she was dangerous, but this was before this terrible and dishonest response.  Do you know that I was actually stressed out the entire time she stayed at my home because of the rude and creepy way she acted?  I thought her husband acted like he was afraid to speak up and now after seeing her reaction to my decent but honest review – I KNOW he was afraid of her! Please understand that I truly believe that Airbnb is creating a monster guest with this woman.  She has a talent how to make things seem not like they are; she lies and she is dangerously over-reactive and vicious in her response.  I truly believe now that it would be downright dangerous to confront her in person and I am so glad I didn't.

Airbnb should protect other hosts so kindly tell me who at Airbnb do I turn to now and where do I go now because this is not acceptable that this over-the-top, over-blown and nasty response has not been removed - if the management team had actually researched our conversations they would have seen that I informed this guest that the stain was quite large (like food spill), NOT just “a spot”, and that in her very rude response there were several over-blown exaggerations, lies and unnecessary derogatory remarks. She LIED about the stain on the sheets and made me look petty and ridiculous. The reality is she is a lying, dishonest, spiteful and conniving guest who treated me rudely the entire month she stayed and I am angry that Airbnb would allow this horrible reaction.  This is outrageous and wrong. 

And finally I am sorry that Airbnb has so little regard for hosts - they obviously did not take the time to review my conversations and my messages to this guest about the stain.  My cleaning girls even saw it and thought it was something greasy like food.  Then on top of that she is allowed to rage on about several other things and slander me with those malicious comments?  I don't get it.

Very disappointed,

Mary Ann

[Dave-and-Deb0]

Hi @Mary-Ann0,

I am sorry but I have read Susan's response to your review and it does not read that "she is dangerously over-reactive and vicious in her response" or that it is "over-the-top, over-blown and nasty response".  It seems to me that she is actually just "responding" to what you wrote in the review.  She even acknowledges that she left small pieces of thread which the vacuum that was provided would not pick up.  I would be curious to see ALL the communication you had with Susan.  Also @Mary-Ann0, if you thought she was rude and obnoxious and that you felt in danger, why did you not reach Airbnb to have them deal with this guest.

In the future, I would recommend that you provide light cleaning weekly to long term guests so you are able to check up on your property.  I took a look at Susan's other reviews and they are all glowing.  Once again, I think you said way to much in your review and again, in the future, keep it brief.  

[Mary-Ann0]

I did notify Airbnb about the rudeness during their stay and how uncomfortable it was for me in the private feedback to Airbnb.

I feel it was "vicious" because it is a dishonest version about the damage. I guess others can not understand how it was because they were not there.

I have done all I can here and I understand, thank you for your feedback.

Mary Ann 

[Mary-Ann0]

@Dave & Deb,

Okay after more than a month of thinking and soul searching about this for a while and learning from this I would like to reply again to you because you were the first to respond to me and I believe your posts have set the adverse and contradictory tone in this thread and I would like to point out a couple of things to you.

Actually (as I stated several times in the thread) it was the guest who wrote detailed stories about the stains, my vacuum, the threads, the dirt, and all the negative stuff because I didn’t mention any of this except details about the positive things I said about them. So if you read what I wrote and not anything else, you should not see dirty offensive little details. But no one remembers my review because it is not the interesting part.

I talked privately about the stains and told her it was a large greasy stain but she wanted people to think it was K-Y Jelly instead and that I am just being a prude so she says it in public and now some think exactly what she wants them to think!  What good little sheep you are.

Also what I did do was mention these things in the private feedback to her. So what happened was she took what I said in private feedback (the truth) and used it against me in her public response.  So, even though it was twisted around to sound negative - it had a small amount of truth to it so coming from her instead of me made her look right like she was being honest; hence @Dave-and-Deb0's  comment, “She even acknowledges that she left small pieces of thread which the vacuum that was provided would not pick up.”  …. like wow, isn’t she being so honest!

The reality here is that my Bissell Featherweight Vac has great strong suction and does great picking up normal debris off of floors and carpets too, but not ground-in threads on the outdoor mats and the kitchen rugs. But now, you see, I did not write that in my review …. did I? Nor did I write any of those other negative details about stains or any of it …. did I?  But what are people remembering?  They read the negative stuff, remember it and see it as fact and like it is the valid truth because … she dared to come out with it so it looks like she is being truthful and right.    

Now what I have learned the most here for future reviews is to just not say anything to a problematic guest in private feedback, or in a review or in any other way; rather just be totally placating and nice – don’t say anything that they can “improve upon” like Airbnb suggests; because they may not want to hear it in fact they could be offended by it.  This guest did not want to hear any constructive criticism or anything that she could improve or do differently. I believe that was my mistake and I should not have done that. I definitely made a big error trying to reason with this guest when I should have been thinking from the business stand point, as a business, and that the customer is always right and never wrong. I get it now.  Also don’t ever give a truthful review except strictly generic “they’ll be happier in a hotel” and nothing else!

In addition I have realized something else that has just blown me away. Maybe others already know this but I am just learning it. What I am talking about is about the way the world works and about human nature and upon realizing this I find this truly interesting, amazing and is an erudition mile stone and learning experience for me.

It is all about the strongest force and how human and animal instinct wants to stand with the strongest force.

The fact that so many community members only remembered what the guest wrote and the negative things and thought it was the truth tell a lot about how people think.  “The strongest force” - in this case it is the negative force and how this negative force is seen as the truth.  It is natural and human and it is what we do so it explains a lot to me about how the world works and why it is the way it is.

And lastly, not yours @Dave & Deb, but regarding some of the comments here; even though this is Airbnb I need to realize that this is the internet which is notorious for attracting folks who just need to judge, abuse and dump on others to try and make themselves feel better. 

Thank you and take care,

Mary Ann

[Ma0]

you are taking it to whole another level. calm down and relax your guest was not so horrible as you try to make us believe. no one buy it anyway so please take a breath and move on. 

[Kate96]

You are crazy. He din't threaten you in ANY way. He said that your own behavior and response to a settled mattered will lead to people not wanting to book with you. In fact, I would like to seek him out and ask if he would stay at my place. I might even exchange his nice gesture to do things around the house that need fixing up and give them an extra night for free....

[David-and-Fiona0]

Sorry to not be supportive but from what you and the guest have written I think you got what you deserved. 

Charging a cleaning fee then having guests do the cleaning????/ I think this would be enough for some guests to then find fault with other things. Stained sheets (from whatever) is simply part of doing business and should be factored own to your costs. Obviously these guess tried to be good guests but you seem to have escalated the issue with your response.

[Mary-Ann0]

Hi @David-and-Fiona0

I just reread your post thank you for your feedback.

Actually what I “deserved” was a decent behaving guest and a decent review nothing more nothing less.

With the way Airbnb reviews work we don’t know what the guest is going to post until we put up ours and there is no turning back.  After observing the strange and weird behavior of this guest for 1 month I had no idea what kind of a review I was going to get.  And it had been a year since her other reviews – and you never know what a loose cannon will do.  After her review sat there for more than a week unopened I felt my only option was to tell it like it was in the most appropriate way I could.  I could not take the chance that she would make complaints about the sheets or whatever else was going on in her head first.  So I told the truth the way I saw it.  I am fortunate that as it was her review turned out to be decent – that was appropriate because I deserved it.

I agree with you about the cleaning fee.  Although this guest was only charged $50 at the time – it is a confusing part of Airbnb that I did not understand well.  Guests are supposed to leave your place in order but are charged a cleaning fee?  Many people charge cleaning fees in my area but now I have stopped charging a cleaning fee and raised my nightly rate.

Best regards,

Mary Ann

[Ash-and-Dasha0]

@Mary Ann

After reading your responses, I think you should also realize that the review you are talking about appears strictly on the guest's page. It's not visible on your page. Since you only have 3 reviews, it was easy to determine which guests you were unhappy about.

Because the guest's response to your guest review appears on the guest's profile only, it was unreasonable of you to demand anything of airbnb customer support or of the guest to remove or modify it. You do sound vindictive by being unhappy about the guest's response on her own page. 

Hosting on airbnb is a learning process, good to see you figured out the cleaning fee arrangement and now you got to understand how responses to reviews work. 

I read your entire description and didn't find anywhere where you required a "as clean as you found it" condition or even a mere mentioning of cleaning.

Also I would personally never stay at a place which requires me to clean it upon departure to the level it was found in. Yuck! The trip is ruined by the memory of sweeping the place up, changing sheets, and washing the glass shower. I don't even like doing it at home and I'd rather pay $50 while on vacation.