My guest wants to go out to lunch with Husband and I, do we go?

[Michelle1115]

I have a newbie guest that is spending two weeks with us. We have been nice to her, but she’s annoying trying to talk to my kids and we are looking forward to her leaving. She asked via text: She like to get to know us better and would like to go out to lunch with us, the day before she checks out.  Do we go? 

[Lisa723]

Hm, that's totally up to you of course. I'd be busy, personally.

[Sarah977]

@Michelle1115   If you host in your home, I think it's odd that you find it annoying for a guest to try to talk to your kids. You have listed a shared home situation. It's normal for a friendly guest to attempt some interaction with the host and their family. If you're uncomfortable with this, you perhaps need to rethink hosting in your home.

Perhaps she's been annoying in other ways you haven't stated, or has a hard time perceiving when someone would rather not talk to her. Or perhaps you and your kids have been giving mixed messages, being friendly, but privately being irritated and seething inside.

I have gone out to dinner with many of my guests. One guy insisted on taking me out to dinner his first night here. He wasn't coming on to me, he was just being nice and generous.

But of course, if you simply don't like this person, there's no need to accept.

[Rachel0]

@Michelle1115 Either go or don't go - it's not up to hosts on this forum to help you decide on something so trivial.   It strikes me that this guest may be a little lonely, maybe staying in an area she has never been to before, and is merely trying to thank you for your hospitality.  If she is seriously upsetting your children by her actions that is another matter altogether, but if she is just passing the time of day by chatting then I really cannot see what the problem is.  

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Michelle1115

I would assume it's not the fact that the guest is talking to your kids or inviting you to a meal that is the problem here. It seems maybe you (and your family) are not a good fit and she does something to make you uncomfortable? It's really up to you to decide what to do and if you don't want to go you could always just make up an excuse and thank her for the invite but unfortunately you already have other plans and leave it at that.  

I host out of my home with a single occupancy guest room so it is actually quite common for me and/or Henry to share a meal with our guest. We've also had guests cook for us or take us out to thank us. Henry and I also usually take our long-term guests out to lunch or dinner once during their stay as well - we let the guest choose from a list of our favorite LOCAL places to eat where Henry and I are regulars and foreigners would never think to go on their own 🙂 At the same time, sometimes guests will ask Henry or me about lunch or dinner plans on weekends. Sometimes we want some "us" time so we will say we have other plans. 

[Michelle1115]

Thanks all! We decided we are going to meet her for lunch. We think she is moving out here and wants a friend. I just never had it happen. Oh, she does appear to be lonely, but did frighten the kids by walking behind them and stairing at them individually, without announcing her presence. They felt they were being watched and they were by her. Each kid reported the same thing happening. But the guest is 70, no kids, so who knows. 

[Sarah977]

@Michelle1115  I don't know how old your kids are, but if you haven't already, it might be good to sit down with them and explain about how everyone is different in lots of ways, and that they'll experience a lot of different behaviors in all the airbnb guests you get. It's very important for them to let you know if a guest is making them uncomfortable and why, and equally important that they can make the distinction between a person who poses a possible threat to their safety, someone who just seems strange, or someone who might be lonely or not know how to relate to kids.

[Victoria567]

If you want this guest to be part of your life then accept their offer for dinner.

If you do not want this guest to be part of your life now or in the future, then politely decline, thanking them for their kind offer but you can’t accept their kind offer,as you have other plans.

Politeness costs nothing as the great British comedian Sir Bruce Forsyth would say....” It’s nice to be Nice!”