Trouble w guest that’s staying here now

[Thomas2761]

Hi,

I’m having trouble with a young 23/24 your old man who’s behaving like I wasn’t here and like he can do whatever he pleases.

He arrived Thursday and when I came home from work the living space that we share looked like a mess. Papers, cigarettes, coins, open Red Bulls, empty water bottles, 3 big suit cases, 1 bag pack and misc other things spread out in kitchen area and dining space. Even toilet paper on the floor - seemed like he tried to wipe off foot steps from walking with shoes on in/out from my terrace.

Thursday night I come home around 11 pm after dining out. He has 4 friends over without checking first with me if that’s okay. They listen to music and two people are smoking a joint on my terrace and it smelled like marijuana in the entire living space. They’re drinking. Booze and Red Bulls. First I am very direct and tell him that’s not acceptable and then I have a beer and a cigarette with them to try and be a nice host but tell them they have to leave when my beer is empty.

Today I come home from work. The place is full of people again. I tell him I have to work and cook and go early to bed. They leave after one hour. I realise some of the big luggages that’s been in the living area aren’t his but his friends’ who had to fly out and took them with them.

11:30 pm today I’m waken up by voices. I lie in bed trying to figure out what’s going on. I open the door in my master section to go out and find out what’s going on. Two of his friends are hanging out. One is rolling a joint on my dining table next to some Red Bull stains. I get opset and tell his two friends to leave and tell him it’s not acceptable bringing guests into my home without permission or any form of communication. Especially not late at night. He starts laughing and can’t take it serious. The two friends won’t leave. He’s talking about he needs his passport so they can go out. One of the other guys sits down in the sofa with his shoes on my carpet. I realise they all have shoes on. I tell them to get out right now but they won’t leave. I tell him to get his passport and go out and have fun and from now on he needs to respect that it’s my home and he’s a guest. I’m not housing all his friends. I follow up with a DM here on Airbnb to clarify some rules.

I really hope things will change. I’m so frustrated and upset and feels like I’m being stepped on in my own home by someone I hoped would be acting like an adult and be nice and respectful. But it turns out to be a disaster and a lot of work and worry. I kinda feel like I have to be a dad for a young adult who has zero respect and calls me “bro”…

What would you do?

Very best, Thomas

[Emiel1]

@Thomas2761 

Tell the guest he is violating your houserules and shorten the reservation ("change" option)

Inform Airbnb about the guest's behaviour.

In other words: you (and Airbnb) must get rid of this "guest" asap !

[Mark116]

@Thomas2761  Contact Airbnb and tell them the guest has repeatedly broken multiple house rules, has basically been throwing small parties in the apartment and that you feel intimidated by this guest after his unauthorized friends refused to leave, and tell them to CANCEL his reservation with no penalty to you.  I would then contact 1 or 2 of my own friends to be on site when he is informed his reservation is cancelled so he doesn't trash your house or steal anything.  Good luck.

Be prepared for a revenge review and or false claims made to Airbnb.

As a less severe alternative, tell him that you don't feel that things are working out, that his expectations of the listing and rules have been incorrect and you believe he would be happier at another location, e.g. try to get him to cancel.  But, your goal should be to get this person out of your property before something more serious happens.

[Mike-And-Jane0]

@Thomas2761 Learn from this for the future. Guests are guests and hosts are hosts. Yes you can be friendly but you need to set and maintain boundaries at all times. I would review your house rules and tighten up how shared areas can be used.

[Jennifer1897]

@Thomas2761 Sorry to hear you are dealing with a bad guest. His behavior is completely unacceptable and I would recommend you move forward with cancelling his reservation. As someone else mentioned, let Airbnb know he is repeatedly violating rules and has been resistant to amending his behaviors. It appears he has little respect and will continue to do as he pleases, meaning if you let him stay, you will likely be dealing with his behaviors throughout the entirety of his reservation.

That being said, I reviewed your listing and have a couple suggestions for you related to this issue.

1) In your rules you state "If you want friends over we can of course arrange that but this is not a party crib." This statement is a little odd and can be left open for interpretation by guest which is not what you want in a shared space. Also, it is difficult to determine what people consider a party, and once you give them the green light to have friends over you are setting yourself up for potential bad situations. If you do move forward with allowing your guest to have others over, I would suggest a very clear rule related to the time the visitor can stay and how many visitors they are allowed to have. Ex. If you approve a guest let them know they can only have one person over and they can not stay past a certain time.

2) "No parties at any time unless agreed." Again, you are setting yourself up for potential issues with this.  I would have a very set rule on weather parties are allowed or not.  Given that you work from home and specify that you need rest in the evenings, I would have the no parties rule in place. 

3) Your listing is rather vague and provides more personal information about you rather than the actual space. I would update your About section to provide more information about the space, shared areas, and what guest can expect. It is nice to let guest know a little about you, but I wouldn't include extended details about your schedule and when you travel/are not home. 

[Huma0]

@Thomas2761 

I am sorry this is happening to you. I agree with what all the other hosts have already said. You should try to get this guest out as he's unlikely to mend his ways and stop causing you trouble. You have a strong case to take to Airbnb because he's broken so many rules. It can be a bit hit and miss dealing with Airbnb customer services, but the times when I had to call them about guests having unauthorised people over or unacceptable late night noise, they did take it quite seriously.

I also thoroughly agree with what @Jennifer1897 says about your listing. There are things there that are going to encourage this type of guest to book. Switch to a 'no parties' rule. Switch to a 'no visitors' rule. People can go out and meet their friends in a bar or pub. Your nice apartment is not a bar. Also, did you know that Airbnb will not cover you for damages caused by unauthorised people, i.e. those not on the booking? Add a rule about guests paying for any damages. Don't start off with 'need a place to crash?' It sends out the wrong message. Add more detail about the space and what kind of guest it is suitable for to the listing description. Save the personal interests for your profile description.

Tighten up your rules and then stick to them. That means, don't share a drink and smoke a cigarette with the unauthorised visitors (I notice your listing has a no smoking policy). You tell the guest he is in violation of the house rules and unless the visitors leave immediately, his stay will be terminated. It may sound harsh, but this guests is wantonly breaking numerous house rules, laughing about it and walking all over you. It may just be cluelessness and immaturity, but I've hosted many, many guests of this age group and they don't behave that way in my home. 

Also, on a side note, your private room listing is categorised as an entire flat. You need to change that as it's really misleading.

[Mark116]

@Thomas2761  I agree about the rules.  We have a very simple 'only guests who are on the reservation are allowed on the property unless agreed to in advance by hosts'.

This is clear and straightforward, but also allows for exceptions to made, and honestly, any time a guest has asked if they could have a friend drop by or their aunt come over, we've always said yes.  But stating it this way, it makes it clear that the host is in control and the guest must ask permission.

[Thomas2761]

Thank you all very very much for your responses. It's been helpful and insightful. Appreciate realising there's such a strong Airbnb community. Didn't even know as I'm quite new to hosting.

I've updated my house rules and sent a longer message to my guest Thursday night to make things very clear in text via the app, so I knew it was also documented. And as a final note, I told him we needed to have a conversation about things or else he needed to find another place. Friday night I received a 'sorry' and since things has been quiet. He basically hasn't been home. He was out partying from Friday to Sunday, and Sunday morning we had a face2face and I feel that he finally got the point.