Very Rude Guest

[Rebecca-and-Ben0]

We recently hosted a guest who booked for over 2.5 weeks (I have since reduced the max that guests can stay). He was extremely rude and presumptuous. He was staying for a new job. He asked us to rearrange the room the first night and complained that ther was no TV in the room (we only stream anyway and we do not list that there is a TV in the room). We moved a small TV into the room and accomidated the rearrangement. He then asked if he could smoke weed (legal here) and we said outside only. He ended up smoking weed in the room, multiple times a day. He would come home and drink 24 oz of wine (a pint glass and a half) at lunch and smoke weed 2-4 times prior to going back to work. He stole at least 8 beers out of our fridge and lied when politely confronted. I said "Are you sure?" And then his response was "Well you know how it is when you get drunk, you don't know how much you drink!" He said he would replace them and I said, "You don't have to replace them. Just stop drinking our beers, please." He repeatedly let our cats out when we asked him not to. Last night, he invited himself to "hang" with us and our friend, where he proceeded to make derogitory comments about Mexicans. My husband and his friend left shortly after and the guest retreated to his room. About 5 minutes after my husband and friend left, he came back in the living room and said "So, tell me about yourself," I proceeded to small talk with him until he some how got on the topic of my "sign" and how that was "typical" of my "sign" and then somehow he brought up sexual harrassment. I then told him I was uncomfotable with this topic because I have been harrassed and the men got themselves fired by their behavior. I am not responsible for the sexual harrassers' actions or behaivior. He then proceeded to tell me that it was my fault and I obviously didn't "try very hard" if the men continued to harrass me. I told him I would not have this conversation with him. This was the last straw and I said "I will happily refund you your remaining amount. Please leave the room." He then went and packed all of his things (our bath towel included--I would have thrown it away anyway) and I immidately went to the garage to call my husband to come home ASAP and then Airbnb. Airbnb was supposed to call me back today, but hasn't yet. My husband showed up with his friend right as the guest was leaving. He proceeded to tell my husband, "Your wife is a psycho." My husband told him to leave and to not talk to about his wife like that. The guest kept repeating "she's a psycho." The guest shortly after canceled the rest of his reservation, refunding him $130something and I apparently cannot leave a review. We are changing the locks tomorrow even though he gave us the key back (you never know if he made a copy). Can I post his name publicly here? How do I notifiy other hosts about this man? Thank you in advance for your advice.

[Alice-and-Jeff0]

@Rebecca-and-Ben0 - Not sure why you cannot write this guest a review.  Did Airbnb tell you that you wouldn't be able to do so?  The guest cancelled, so refunds will be in order, and hopefully your case manager has reached out to you.  If not, you need to contact Airbnb RIGHT NOW.  

You learned a valuable lesson here which is that you have to be able to say "no" and not give in to every guest demand (rearranging the furniture?  Providing a TV?  Not making him pay for the beer? Letting him smoke pot? No, no, no, no!!!) .  You need to be able to ask them to provide you with some personal and private space - not to "hang" with you, smoke in your house, and drink your beer.  It's important to know that guest's may not share your values and that they will embarass you on occassion when they try to interact.  They will be inappropriate - it happens to the best of us - and you have the duty to call them on it and ask them to stop.  These skills are not easy to learn in the moment and hopefully you will be able to reflect on how you would handle it differently for the next difficult guest.  

While you cannot publically out him, you can flag this guest's profile and you can block them from your listing. It looks like you've taken down your listing already, or else it's been removed by Airbnb.  

Good luck. 

[Rebecca-and-Ben0]

 I was able to leave him a negative review the next day and flag his profile. I called Airbnb the second we had an altercation. I put our listing on snooze until after the new year and we can decide if we would like to try again. Thanks so much for your advice. 

[Cynthia-and-Chris1]

@Rebecca-and-Ben0 Sorry you had a bad experience! @Alice-and-Jeff0 gave some good advice and I wouldn’t let this one guest scare you off from hosting. Take this as a learning experience and be firm with your policies. 

[Rebecca-and-Ben0]

Thanks so much! I just un-snoozed our account and blocked dates instead because I want people to see my review and his. He is completely delusional. Everyone is right, we let him walk all over us and he was a learning experience. Here is my review of him: “Steve was literally the worst. He made derogatory comments about other races. And he accused me of deserving sexual
Harassment. He smoked weed inside our house multiple times a day, when we asked him to smoke outside.He stole our beer and lied about it when we politely confronted him. He repeatedly let our cats out when we asked him not to. He was a complete slob and left our room smelling like weed and literal **bleep**. He stole our bath towel (I would have thrown it away anyway) and called me derogatory names the entire time. I would never ever wish even my worst enemy to host this man. He was a disgusting pig. Do not host this man. ” thanks for your help! 

[Helen3]

Hello @Rebecca-and-Ben0

One of the main lesson you need to learn as a host is that you are running a business and need to be able to manage your listing in a professional manner.

This guest was appalling and disgusting.

However unfortunately you let him walk all over you, smoking weed in your home, drinking your beer and making racist comments in your home.

He would have been out the door the moment any one of these things happened, let alone all three of them.

Most guests are lovely but as hosts we need to manage who stays in our home. Don't use Instant Book even though Airbnb will try and blackmail you into by saying you won't get bookings otherwise.

Vet your guests, have clear house rules in place, if your guest breaks them, then record everything on airbnb messaging and if they do it more than once, contact Airbnb and ask them to cancel the guests booking.

If this guest cancelled the booking they shouldn't have been refunded (do use strict cancellation policies).

I think you are right to take a break. Do try it again if it is right for you, but only if you are able to manage your listing professionally and not let guests walk all over you.

I do hope Airbnb is going to ban this guest. No woman should have to put up with his sexual harrassment or host the disrepect for their home.

[Rebecca-and-Ben0]

Thanks, Helen! Airbnb basically said “Shrug. People will see your negative review.” Everyone is right, as newbies, we let him walk all over us. I un-snoozed our account so people could read my review and his and simply blocked dates. He said “no hard feelings and maybe Santa will bring you a 12-pack or beer ;)” I responded that he was not welcome and DO NOT stop by our place. Here is my review of him: Thanks, Helen! Airbnb basically said “Shrug. People will see your negative review.” Everyone is right, as newbies, we let him walk all over us. I un-snoozed our account so people could read my review and his and simply blocked dates. He said “no hard feelings and maybe Santa will bring you a 12-pack or beer ;)” I responded that he was not welcome and DO NOT stop by our place. Here is my review of him: Steve was literally the worst. He made derogatory comments about other races. And he accused me of deserving sexual
Harassment. He smoked weed inside our house multiple times a day, when we asked him to smoke outside.He stole our beer and lied about it when we politely confronted him. He repeatedly let our cats out when we asked him not to. He was a complete slob and left our room smelling like weed and literal **bleep**. He stole our bath towel (I would have thrown it away anyway) and called me derogatory names the entire time. I would never ever wish even my worst enemy to host this man. He was a disgusting pig. Do not host this man. 

[Cormac0]

@Rebecca-and-Ben0

It's a pity you did not tell him what you really think lol, well done.

I particularly like the "Disgusting Pig" epithet.

Regards

Cormac

The Explorer's Club Krakow III

[Hwyl-Bento0]

Sounds like a tough one to me but I think you should be able to leave reviews for people. If the guy acted like a weirdo then you should be able to say imo

[Rebecca-and-Ben0]

Thanks! See my reply above!

[Cormac0]

@Rebecca & Ben

Your guest would be best described as a blackguard, thief, alcoholic, pot smoker, with penchant for Feng Shui.

Your home is your castle defend it!

My view is you acted too slowly undoubtable motivated by the tyranny of the review process where an ner do well like your Guest can create havoc and impugn you character with little or no reputational damage.

Rebecca, in one respect you a very lucky lady that your husband is so self-restrained, because if it was me I would have boxed the head of him and F88K the reviews.

Regards

Cormac

The Explorer's Club Krakow III

[Rebecca-and-Ben0]

Haha! Let’s just say, I am the confrontational one in the relationship. He did have some words with him which we caught on video. See above for the ultimate result. I think we will try again but limit a 5 day stay. This man was the epitome of the type of sexual harasser I dealt with many times in my 20s. A total pig. 

[Rebecca-and-Ben0]

Just read his **bleep**ty response to our review and he called me a psycho. So. Needless to say. Don’t think we will continue this which we started to pay for our kidney diseased cat. I hope ou review makes people second guess since he is literally the worst. Feel free to message me for the actual account. 

[Edwin57]

You should of remove the person is not worth the headache since he started the wrong way sometimes is not about the money you know what I mean 

[Alice-and-Jeff0]

@Rebecca-and-Ben0 - You do not need to unsnooze or provide links to this guest's profile.   We can all click through to your profile from here in the forums and all your reviews are listed there. Reviews are attached to your personal profile as well as to the particular listing. Then, if we want to read your review of him, we can click through from your profile to his profile to see the review you wrote.  Unfortunately, his response is also available for everyone to see and that long response will draw attention to that particular review for some time.  Savvy travelers do look at both review sides when they see a negative review.  

Remember - hosting is not for everyone.  There is no shame in not doing it because it makes you uncomfortable or the situation does not suit you.  Limiting the number of days will not eliminate guests like this one, I'm afraid. You may host another racist, misogynistic, ungrateful slob - what will you need to be able to do to make that time more successful and less stressful for you the second time? What are the absolute deal breakers for you and the consequences if they should happen again? For example, if letting the cats out is a deal breaker, and it's really very likely to happen again, even by accident (especially since it sounds like some go out and some stay in.... many guests will not understand the nuances of this - heck, some times they barely get the nuances of when they are supposed to check out), what tools can you put into place to help pro-actively eliminate this stressor?  Please consider things carefully before you come back online. Being miserable if you host will never amount to anything of value to you and likely cause you heartache and sorrow - no money can soothe that. 

Wishing you all the support you need, now and in the new year should you come back to host.