What can GUESTS do about Ignorant & Rude Hosts ?? HELP!

[Carol7337]

Hello All,   

  I've been travelling West across Canada using Airbnb to stop in each province for a month along the way.  I had good hosts, but then in Manitoba I had hosts I had to report because they were filthy (I mean so filthy you would hardly believe it) and incredibly disrespectful to me.  Dealing with Airbnb agents was a nightmare due to the fact agents didn't care and gave me all kinds of wrong answers.  It took 3 full days to resolve and get my money back only through losing my temper and threatening to contact local news authorities to send photos of the nasty house I was forced to stay in.  

I took my refund and the bit of coupon $ Airbnb provided to then move onto Saskatchewan since my stay in Manitoba was ruined, and this time I chose a lovely looking hobby  farm in Grandora, SK who's advertisement said it's quiet and serene there.  The location was certainly beautiful, and the house was clean, but the WIFE was extremely rude and snapping at me for no reason at all.  She waited to start being rude to me after the 24 hour period.  It seemed the kinder I was to her, the ruder & more insulting she became (some people mistake kindness for weakness).  Not only that, but during the 3rd week there I was woken up at 4:30 in the morning to a SCREAMING fight between she and her husband!  When I mentioned it to her the next day she said "oh he just talks loud".  The woman lives her life complaining about everything she can think of. She complained so much about how tired she is that I even told her I would clean my own bathroom in the loft.   I've still not left a review for that particular host but I will. I left there a week early and stayed with a lovely woman & her husband in Saskatoon who were very kind

I have ASKED an Airbnb AGENT to please tell me what I can do about RUDE hosts if it happens again and have received a reply that said something like "you can work it out".  So then I emailed Catharine Powell who is apparently the "Global Head of Hosting" -  I emailed her twice asking the same question since the online agents are of no help.  Airbnb agents 95% of the time are uncaring and don't read the information provided explaining what's going on.  There is NO way to call a specific person, and "ghosting" seems to be a common practice.  I've still not received an answer from Catharine and it's been nearly 2 weeks. 

I REALLY want to know how to DEAL with rude hosts.  If there is no physical issue with an accommodation and the house is clean, what can a guest DO about a host who treats them like garbage and is disrespectful?   Most people who rent through Airbnb only rent for a night or 2, but in my case, I'm staying in homes with hosts for weeks and this means hosts who want your MONEY but really don't want YOU there, can be quite insulting and rude.     I'm currently now in Alberta and staying with what I thought would be a "nice little old lady" in her townhouse.   She isn't nice at all! -- This 80 year old lady constantly insults my faith in God, she SMOKES WEED like a trooper day and night, uses the F word like it's a second language, and today she told me that I "don't have a life".  I've never said anything about her drinking and smoking and her atrocious opinions about everything imaginable.   I've not criticized her, and yet she seems to feel it's ok to insult me and my faith while bombarding me with the F word constantly.  - I haven't even been here a full week yet and this is what I have to listen to!    

Can someone please tell me WHAT GUESTS CAN DO about IGNORANT INSULTING HOSTS ??      I'm on a very strict budget and cannot afford to  just let nasty hosts keep my money so I can move out.      Do I have to record every conversation to protect myself from nasty hosts and prove to Airbnb how RUDE they are so I can get my money back?   Please tell me what I have to do to ensure I'm not TRAPPED in another garbage situation with hosts who clearly have boundary problems and/or mental problems (the current host told me she's BI-POLAR and doesn't use medication to control it!) 

I must decide if I'll continue to use Airbnb and need an informed answer from proper management.   If someone doesn't give me a satisfactory answer and this company refuses to protect their guests, I certainly won't be using Airbnb to travel BACK to the East Coast when I return.  So far it's been quite unpleasant and equally unpleasant trying to get answers from the company. 

PS.... I just left a note on her kitchen counter and am attaching a photo of it. 

[Gwen386]

It appears your stays have been a share in someone’s home where you are constantly in contact with the host. If you prefer AirBnB over hotels/motels, I recommend looking for places that are separate from the host, i.e., basement apts. This way, there is no need for daily or even continuous interaction or communication unless there is an emergency or problem. 

[Mike-And-Jane0]

@Carol7337 you seem to have had issues with a few places. Either you are making poor choices or you have been incredibly unlucky or your budget is limiting you to take dodgy places or you are not suited to home sharing. It could be any of these !

[Carol7337]

I wanted to address the mentality expressed in the comment above.  This person claims I must be getting dodgy service because of less expensive rooms.    THAT comment is prejudiced & discriminatory against the poor.   I should not have to be RICH in order to be treated with respect.

The point this individual above is making is to claim that in order to get good service I should have to PAY MORE ??  - Aren't ALL hosts required to be respectful regardless of what a guest pays?

 Just because a room is cheaper does not mean it's acceptable for a host to treat their guests badly.   

Paying $800-$1000 a month for a room rental is a lot when I can rent rooms for $450-$600 a month and not have to pay the added fees in addition to not having to deal with the headaches of demented hosts, and trying to get Airbnb CS to sort things out which in itself is a full time job. 

On Airbnb there are definitely dishonest guests --- but there are ALSO dishonest HOSTS.  As a matter of fact, I caught the nasty host (Darlene) in Grandora  SK in her lies on her review of me and can prove it because I have documentation.    Airbnb issued me an apology yesterday in regards to the unpleasant stay at her home and also gave me a $500 coupon but doubt I will ever use it.  

Moral of the story = Don't discriminate and claim I'd be treated better if I PAID more.  

[Kate867]

@Carol7337   In all fairness to @Mike-And-Jane0 They are not discriminating at all and to suggest they are is somewhat offensive.  They often give excellent advice on this forum which is much appreciated.  They have given four reasons as to why you might be struggling, one of which is indeed based on budget.  Sometimes there is a reason for a low price, one of which, amongst many others could be a lack of return and regular guests due to the same reasons and problems you have outlined.  As a potential guest looking for a long term stay in a home share you should ensure with conversation and questions prior to confirming your reservation that it will be a good fit for all.

There is one common denominator here … yourself.  I also agree with the majority here who have tried to answer you honestly and respectfully, that you would indeed be better suited to Hotel.   

[Carol7337]

@Kate867   --  What an incredibly presumptuous thing for you to inferr that I'm the problem.  Perhaps you missed all the wonderful reviews I've received from GOOD hosts ? - Oh let me guess, you didn't look at those -- Which only proves your presumptuous nature.    

Additionally,  it most certainly &absolutely is DISCRIMIATION against the poor and/or those who have a BUDGET to suggest that only people who pay for EXPENSIVE rentals will receive respect from their hosts. 
ALL people regardless of faith, income, career or lack of one, race, color of skin, ethnicity, gender, etc should receive respect from ALL Airbnb hosts and not be LIED to or lied ABOUT.   In the same way that you, Kate, would like to be respected as a host. 

It IS discrimination.   --  The poor have been discriminated against for ages. 

IT NEEDS TO STOP.     Having a BUDGET does not mean I'm less deserving of respect and the inference in this thread that it does is highly discriminatory. 

I will again say as I did last week, that it seems to me the HOSTS on this thread who are replying are offended for the simple reason that you too are 'hosts'  (quite possibly not good ones) and because of that you're responses to a guest (me) who was only asking a simple question but has instead been given nothing but defensive hand-outs, are incredibly biased. 

Let me also say here that just yesterday AirB sent me an apology for the way I was treated in Grandora, SK by the lying host there after investigating (I'm able to prove her lies  through documentation), and they sent me a $500 coupon which I most likely won't ever use unless I have no other recourse during my Canada wide travels.   

[Louise0]

Actually, that 'little old lady' sounds kind of cool.  Somehow I don't think it's the hosts that are the problem here.  

[Amanda660]

Airbnb aren’t going to assist with guidance on how to deal with hosts - they’re a booking platform and their CS staff are not  versed in damage limitation nor are they Relationships Counsellors.  

As others have mentioned above, smaller budgets limit choice.  You may be better suited to inexpensive motels where you have your own space. 

It’s never wise for hosts or guests to get involved in conversations about politics or religion if a stress free stay is what you’re looking for.  

[Carol7337]

While I appreciate each opinion (you're allowed to have them even when they're incorrect) .. I'd much more appreciate if  someone would please answer the question instead of making assumptions. 

Hosts are not "cool" when they scream, or discriminate against ANY religion, and certainly aren't cool when cussing like a trucker & constantly high.  It's also not "cool" to have PAID good money to live with any individual with an unmedicated mental illness which could flare up and cause an altercation resulting in physical harm or trauma to a guest.  

The question asked was how do I deal with rude hosts?    I'm guessing that I will have to carry my phone around and record every conversation.  

Regardless, I've now decided to stop using Airbnb at all.  While the horror stories are amusing to those who hear them, paying nearly $1000 for these stays with ignorant people/hosts is not at all acceptable.  Airbnb hasn't earned my vote of confidence in any way. These horrific rude hosts, however, have earned the reviews coming to them. 

[Gwen386]

@Carol7337 You’ve made the right decision. Airbnb is not the right platform for you. 

[Carol7337 · Accepted solution]

I understand that as hosts you seem to feel slighted by my complaints and have some sense of loyalty to the company.

Airbnb is not the right platform for anyone who pays to receive good communication but instead is treated with disrespect.   I had to listen to screaming fights at 4:30 am between a husband and wife in Grandora SK, deal with passive-aggressive nastiness, non medicated drunk & high bipolar grannies, and be forced to listen to people insult my faith. 

Airbnb needs to start properly VETTING their hosts. 

[Amanda660]

If you are unhappy during a stay you  can mention to your host that it’s not working out, go to your booking and request to shorten your stay.   It may well be that if you and the host are not the best fit that it may suit them also. 

[Anonymous]

@Carol7337   I think your decision to stop using Airbnb (or at least to rent rooms in shared households) was the correct one.

There are some obligations that Private hosts have to their guests:  to provide all the amenities advertised in the listing, to guarantee access to the rented space throughout the stay, to deliver a smooth check-in and a safe and sanitary guestroom on arrival. But your "strict budget" is not paying for the hosts to adapt their lifestyles and personalities to your personal preferences. The people you're staying with aren't obliged to be in customer-service mode every time you're within earshot; they are simply living in their own homes. If their home life involves swearing, drinking, smoking, arguing, and expressing different opinions on religion, none of that is going to change just because their guest doesn't like it. They do have the right to be themselves at home. 

How do you deal with a  "rude" person when you're living in their house? Well, someone of your faith might ask "What would Jesus do?"

I can tell you what not to do: leave confrontational messages like the one you showed above. That's guaranteed to create more friction in an already-fraught relationship. And carrying around your phone recording people in their own homes? I can hardly imagine a worse idea than that . If you don't want to cancel the booking, you can keep to yourself and avoid conversation. And while it's not nice to be told you have "no life," I'm sure that the more time you spend out of the home or engaged with your personal activities, the less bothered you'll feel by the personality conflict. If you're genuinely interested in repairing this relationship, there are de-escalation strategies you can try. But if you're already looking forward to trashing someone in a public review, I'm not confident that conflict resolution is in your toolkit here.

In hindsight, you might recognize that you made a very risky choice by committing to live with a stranger for a month. You might have mitigated this risk by choosing much shorter bookings, or by using the "Contact Host" feature and engaging more dialogue before booking, to test out if your personalities and values are truly compatible.  If expressing your religious identity is important to you, it might make more sense to reach out to your denomination's church community for accommodation options and stay with people who share your faith. And as @Amanda660  wisely pointed out, it's important to match your budget to your needs; if you're stressed by sharing living space with people you don't click with, you might have to re-scale the travel ambitions so that you can afford to stay somewhere by yourself.

[Carol7337]

"What would Jesus do?"  - what an interesting question!   Contrary to popular belief,  Jesus was not a pushover who allowed people to walk all over Him.  He had things to say to those who had shady motives and who persecuted Him during His physical life on this earth. As a matter of fact, He often said some hard things to his persecutors.  He allowed Himself to be crucified in the end because that is what His Father [God] instructed Him to do and He obeyed - the purpose for laying down His life was so humans can receive forgiveness of sin - It was not a whimpy cowtowing to persecutors.

Let me set some facts straight:  I did not start talking about my faith with "nasty  granny".   This woman would love for me to do nothing all day but sit and listen to her talk and talk about herself.  She is very full of herself.  She began by talking about how she left Christianity and all I said in return was a cheerful, "I'm a Christian!" ...  After that the rude comments about my faith began.     I COUNSEL women on my computer in my room and it seems some hosts think it's okay to criticize the fact I'm in my room a lot.  I assume this particular lady is affronted because I'm not sitting around listening to her talk about herself incessantly while she cusses, drinks & smokes her weed (which I've not criticized or said anything at all about to her).

Having a smaller budget only means I'm not willing to pay multiple thousands of dollars to rent a room. Hosts should still be KIND and professional to some degree. Hosts on the East Coast (and the 2nd one I went to in Saskatchewan) are lovely!   

Anyway... it's been settled... I will definitely NOT use Airbnb again, and I WILL be leaving an honest negative review for this woman so other guests will know what they're getting into == A criticizing, discriminating, pot smoking, foul mouthed brash woman who has the potential to explode because her mental illness is not medicated is NOT a safe option, but of course, when you see her advertisement and you see the photos of the very nice home she lives in, one would never venture to guess how dysfunctional the woman is.  

My trust in Airbnb is null & void.  And I believe the hosts who are answering this thread to defend the woman I've described, have biases for the simple reason that you too are "hosts" (and possibly not good ones yourself)! 

I'm done here - Cheers! 

[Emilie]

Hi @Carol7337,

Thank you for sharing your recent experiences with the community. It's really sad to hear that your stays did not go as well as you'd hoped and that you ran into some difficulties with your Hosts.

Our teams always strive to help both Hosts and guests find a way forward when a problem arises, and while in those situations it seems that no satisfying solution could be reached, I appreciate your feedback on how we could improve that process as well as provide more guidance going forward. I'll make sure to share those insights on my end.

In the meantime, we have some useful resources on what to do when something happens during your stay, as well as some tips on how to make sure everything goes smoothly as a guest. I hope you find these useful reads, and I as I mentioned I'll pass on your suggestions for future resources we might be able to provide to our wider community. 🙂

Thanks, 

Emilie