What should I do with Sexual harassment?

Hyejin5
Level 2
Canary Islands, Spain

What should I do with Sexual harassment?

Hello. I’m opened airbnb host from December. I’m living with my girlfriend. From last Friday we got guest from Italy. He was nice guy first. My girlfriend is working many hours and I’m staying at home almost all the day. During study and take care of the house. From last week here has many raining. He doesn’t like the weather so he never go out he wanted to spend time with me. It’s was fine cause I don’t have a problem with my guest.  But I started feel uncomfortable with he’s act. Hugging me a lot and kiss to my cheeks and forehead, touch my hair and waist , hand. With that I really don’t wanted to make a problem so I just wait till check out. But today I was playing with my cat in the living room, he was there. When I  sat down the little sofa he sat down next to me and started to touch my shoulder and I felt he tried to massage my neck. So I woke up moved to separate from him And suddenly he tried to kiss me. I surprised and avoid it. And he says “sorry, I feel guilty It wasn’t happens. “ I was scared cause I’m at home only with him. But I came down and gone to my room. -while he stayed my house he told me you so beautiful, I prefer you than your gf. 

After that I text to my partner and she came to home with her family and we told him he had to leave. We gave him last day of the money. And I don’t know with this happens what should I to do in airbnb. Thank you for read my post. If you find my English is weird sorry I don’t speak English perfectly 🙂 have a nice day. 

9 Replies 9
Mary767
Level 2
Pembroke Pines, FL

First, you must report this to Airbnb so that he can be confronted about his behavior. 

You sound like a very caring person and you may not have wanted to embarrass your guest, but, he had no problem making you feel very uncomfortable. You have a right to tell him that touching you makes you feel uncomfortable and then you should move away.  Most people will apologize (some will deny they did anything wrong) but most will change their behavior to something more acceptable and you will both feel better. You must stop bad behavior early; the longer you let it go, it causes mixed messages, and they may think you are encouraging them, by saying nothing.

You handled the situation well, and had him leave, but next time be more assertive early on.

 

Hyejin5
Level 2
Canary Islands, Spain

Okay Mary thank you for your advice. I’ll accept that. 

Sarah977
Level 10
Sayulita, Mexico

@Hyejin5  How would you handle any other guy making sexual advances that you had not encouraged and didn't want? Just because someone is a guest in your home doesn't mean you have to let them do whatever they want. In fact, they should be especially respectful because you have trusted them to stay in your home. The very first time he tried to touch you, you needed to make it clear that it was not acceptable, rather than letting him keep making advances. This is a problem which has little to do with airbnb, but with women learning to be assertive and not putting up with bad male behavior.

 

Definitely report his behavior to airbnb and mention this behavior in the review you give him so other women hosts will be aware.

 

And while your English isn't perfect, it was perfectly understandable, no worries.

 

 

Hyejin5
Level 2
Canary Islands, Spain

Sarah thank you for your mention. I will take care of that more. At that time I was frozen and was worried if the situation getting worse at the house stay only with him. I hope will not happen another time but if it’s again I will be right that. Thank you so much. 

Zoe99
Level 1
Perth, Australia

Hey Hyejin, I'm kind of shocked by the advice here telling you that it was your responsibility to stop the assault. I want you to know that I, and many friends, have been in similar situations, and freezing/panicking is a really common response. Fight-or-flight, being socialized to be "polite", doubting your feelings, fearing consequences (whether a bad review, anger, or outright violence) – there are lots of reasons why women feel they have to endure uncomfortable situations, and it's not your fault. I'm sorry you experienced this. Guys like this know better and they are predators.

Sonia565
Level 2
Moscow, Russia

Yes,I understand you.I came to Ladispoli to draw and relax near the sea.I met my host,he was pretty talkative and nice.After, two young Russian ladies-travellers came and he adviced to make feet massage for us..I said NO to him and we continued our girl conversation in Russian.After it, he thought we were laughing at him,because I did not translate our conversation completely  (it was pretty hard to translate in the evening after all day walking). The next two days he was talking about his problems with sex, because he is "a businessman-airbnb guy and does not have time to build relationship".I said "This is not my deal,I am sorry", and after that day he became threatening me every day about the sand,which I did not see in the first evening after swimming (I apologized several times to another guests and him).And every evenings he said he could call to airbnb and tell them about me.

I started crying because that was unjustice after my heartfull apologies.

His mom,who came at home only today, didn't want to talk with me.

Now is 3 am ,I am sitting on my bed,still waiting for a call from Airbnb.

Sonia565
Level 2
Moscow, Russia

And I am very sorry,Hyejin,for this terrible experience in your and your love's life.Take care!

Victoria567
Level 10
Scotland, United Kingdom

Hi @Hyejin0

Pack up this blokes bags and put them outside your front door seeing you don’t feknow elmsafe with him in your home.......wandering hands now......goodness knows what you will get later.......NO means NO in any language.

 

phone up air bnb to say you have no other choice.......goodness where this entitled unsavoury behaviour will end up......its your safety, and your responsibility to act quickly to protect yourself from this pathetic Casanova!

 

Victoria567
Level 10
Scotland, United Kingdom

Typo.......seeing you don’t feel safe now, with him in your home.