What to do about a host who says they're extremely depressed?

[Daniel415]

This seemed like the best place to post. Moderator please move if it's in the wrong section. 

I just had my first really uncomfortable Airbnb experience as a guest and am seeking advice here about what to do with a host who seemed really mentally unstable. I had booked a private room in a home for a weekend getaway to celebrate my girlfriend's birthday. The host had glowing reviews and described themselves as only around to give a restaurant or activity recommendation but otherwise just goes about their their day so I booked the place.

Within a minute of arriving in the morning and introducing ourselves the host unleashed a 20 minute vent session about some really terrible things that were going on in their personal life. We listened and tried to be empathatic but the longer it went on it became really uncomfortable. We've shared homes around the world and I understand some family things come up and that we're staying in a home but this reached a level of making my girlfriend and I really uncomfortable. My girlfriend definitely wasn't going to be staying there to relax while I went out shopping for the weekend. Our mindset was on birthday celebrations and this quickly brought the mood really down. I felt sad for what the host was going through in life but was also really frustrated that we were being dragged into personal issues.  To try and relax we retreated to the bedroom but everytime the host would then get on the phone and have really loud venting sessions on the phone with someone that we could hear through the door. I'd never experienced anything like this and am one to avoid conflict so I tried to avoid the host as much as possible. But everytime I went to the kitchen or walked out to the car the host kept talking about how depressed they were to the point that I was really worried about their safety and ours. They seemed to be in need of serious professional mental health help. 

Airbnb Support took forever to respond about the cancelation and what to do and still hasn't fully responded so we finished our weekend stay and now it's time to leave the review. I don't want the host to lose business and make things more stressful, but I also don't want any other guest to experience what we experienced and I want to suggest maybe they take a break from hosting, or at least reach out to some resources to get some help.  But I've never had to address something like this with someone.  The other caveat to this is that this Airbnb has co-hosts whon it seems like get all the messages. I don't want to drag them into this either and I don't want the review to be of them as their part was great it was the actual host/home owner who was the issue. What do you recommend I do?   How would you review the host and would you make and suggestions?   Thanks

[Mike340]

@Daniel415

The host is clearly not in a good mental state to be accepting guests into their home at this moment in time. Whatever his/her problems are, they need to be addressed, and the host needs some help and support, something, that is way and above the need for having the odd guests in for the weekend. 

You could contact the local Police,or even local hospital  who have contact to local support organisations who could then call on the host to check on them and ask if they can be of any assistance/support.  These organisations are obviously experienced in these matters and can provide the support that this host might need.

You could check the calendar for the host property and see what the bookings are like ..i,e frequent future bookings or not another for a while....?.. a number of upcoming reservations may well be too much for the host anyway.

The host clearly needs someone to talk to.

You could write a private message to the host and say that during the weekend you were both concerned for the hosts well-being, and whilst the property was nice (and all that) you did not feel comfortable due to the difficult,personal circumstances that the host is now having to deal with, and suggest that he/she take time to consider taking a break from hosting in order to put priority to their own well being...and obviously wish him/her well.

The co-host may not have a close connection to the host but they maybe in a position to contact a family member/friend who can assist and provide some support to the host.

I think the priority is the host well being and the suspension of any further guests for the time being. "Dragging the co-host" in...is a non issue. I am sure they would support the priorities here

On your review I would be fair about the property,provision etc, but write a diplomatic short paragraph that suggests that the host was heavily preoccupied (with personal issues) and not able to be very attentative (or words to that effect) and leave it for the reader to interpret. 

There is also a space at the end of the review for you to inform anything about the host to AirBnb. In that box I would write your concerns and suggest the host is suspended temporarily.

I guess I am just thinking out loud and offering some suggestions. I would see what other hosts suggest too, to get a balance of different opinions on the issue

[Mary996]

How difficult!

I wouldn't involve the Police but agree that some comment is needed in your review perhaps to the effect that 'The host was looking for our sympathy and attention. The accomodation at this point in time might suit someone available to offer a listening ear'... in addition to the nice things you can say about the place.

It may be just what someone perhaps seeking interaction might need or want??????