too loud sex

Bianca12
Level 3
Dingle, Ireland

too loud sex

Hi,

what to do if your 1 night guests have too loud sex? My daughter sleeps in the room beside, you can hear banging and mouning and that happened twice in a month now...people come back to room probablu a little tipsy and then- fun galore. I think it is disrespectful as we are not a hotel but a family home renting out to airbnb guests. I feel very uncomfortable with this.

30 Replies 30
Andrea9
Level 10
Amsterdam, Netherlands

@Bianca12

 

Many hosts feel that renting a room means allowing guests to have fun. That said though, I do feel that guests book privately for the cheaper price. To me that means respecting the host household, and esp. if there are underage children, having loud sex is not exactly okay. But in their stupor they may not have realized, and if you don't say anything they never will.

 

How about you taking them aside and saying " Glad you're enjoying your stay here. I hope you realize we do our best to not make any unnecessary noise to not bother you, so you may actually not have realized that walls such residential houses are not as soundproof as in commercial hotel buildings and don't completely muffle loud noises.

My daughter told me this morning she was scared when she heard loud banging and moaning from your room last night. Well as a heads up - you do realize that's not quite okay. So maybe you can keep it down a bit."

 

 

If it happens again, just message them through ABB reminding them of your conversation and that even if you manage to tolerate the sex sounds their behaviour is really not appropriate for the ears of a minor. That way you'll have something on record if you need to have them re-located by Airbnb or they try to twist a refund out of you later on.

 

-----

 

I'm going to edit my reply here, since I only now saw your were talking about different guests.

 

One thing I've noticed on the forum is that there seem to be guests who are actually only booking a single night for one purpose....

A give-away is often if they're local.

 

What you could do is mention either in your listing or when replying to inquiries/requests that you just want to mention that although the room  is comfortable (or whatever) that you do want to mention it isn't quite suited as honey-moon getaway due to it being directly in your home. It's a touchy thing to say, so you'll have to do it with humor or in a round-about way, esp. if your gut feeling is reacting (young couples, one nighters, just marrieds).

Thank you Andrea! In years I am doing airbnb I learned that some guests behave as in they are in hotel not in somebody's home. I am certain they wouldn't be as noisy if they would stay in their parents house! I don't want to be sleezy or over kind with explaining them what is an etiquet and how to behave. it should be some way of penalty points for that kind of guests. If not the problem will be a never ending story.

Andrea9
Level 10
Amsterdam, Netherlands

@Bianca12 I can't see any guest penalty being implemented for guests. They seem to get a whole lot more leeway than hosts, from what I've seen on host forums! Can you imagine how fast a guest would turn around and demand a (full) refund if they heard their hosts having loud sex LOL.

 

From my experience and keeping on the forums I've come to realize that the puck starts and ends with how the host sets boundaries, communicates these, and enforces them. So for some guests it's important to remind them directly and indirectly, and after a while we hosts become better and better language smiths in guest-related things, but it's an on-going learning curve.

 

If you get the feeling on arrival that you might have guests with overly raging hormone attraction you might add that your daughter in the room next door knows to be quiet. If the guests have an ounce of common sense they'll get the message. 

I like your wording! ...hopefully I won't have to copy your words, so far I have had only a few couples, but they have been great, the last couple I told could have early check-in & late check-out & no cleaning fee if they should come back.

This is New England - home of the repressed and puritanical, maybe that is why I have not had that problem.

The worst guests I have had are under 25 - come in slamming doors at 2pm and burn every pot in the kitchen! don't wipe their feet and make the W/W carpeting filthy, create many loads of laundry for everything stinks & everything needs to be washed/laundered, and forget to leave the keys behind. jeesh! 

...and when anyone complains before booking a room of 'finances' and 'can you give me a lower price', I reject the reservation - it never works out well for me. and do you get the ones who try to send their email to you using 'code'? so they can try to bypass Airbnb & get it for cheaper - those people are always a loosing move, anyone who does that - I reject.

 

Cormac0
Level 10
Kraków, Poland

@Bianca12

 

I think there is very little can that you can do, because if there that passionate they'll carry on regardless, there’s a rather vulgar expression that goes like "an upstanding C**K has no conscious”.

 

I would echo @andrea comments, perhaps if you put a sign in the room that says “Please ration the passion as my daughter sleeps in the next room” or something similar it might work, but there nothing as strange as folk.

 

Or alternatively you could change your booking to a minimum two night stay, this might put of the licentious.

Thank you for your post Cormac. I think it is a really good idea to put some note in the room.  isn't it bad to feel the need of telling somebody to take into consideration how loud is acceptable to be while a guest in stranger house?? There are some situations when you think should to host or not. To point out not to leave pubic hair after shower, to ask not to bang the dors, to be stressed as guest skype at 2am because of the time difference and talking so loud my neighbour could hear, to damage the furniture with vine stains, to use my towels to clean the shoes....and so on. All of that happened in my house and more. On the more positive note, I did meet some remarkable people and majority of guests are nice and carful. But we should do something about this bad eggs we get now and then. If we will just accept the problems, they wont go away and I can't be kind and smiley while dealing with that. 

I try to never host anyone under 25, I don't accept reservations, I use instant book... got a few bad ones that way...but not too many. If you see someone joined Airbnb more than a year ago and has zero to 1 reviews, forget that person too. Many people will not write a bad review, they just don't write one, therefore I do not accept guests who have signed up as a guest and has no reviews, it is a very bad sign. I get business people & medical students/residents they are the best so far.

I’m a new host and I just made this mistake!  She’s been a guest since 2012 but no reviews.  An older couple rented a small room in my house.  Loud sex, slamming doors at 1am, disregarding checkin time, not flushing the toilet, sitting in front of my tv all day and inviting their family to gather for food in my living room despite my house rules!  I will be leaving a detailed review and it’s unfortunate that hosts won’t leave bad reviews and then throw fellow hosts under the bus by leaving us vulnerable to bad guests.  Worst 5 days of my life. Lesson learned.

Thank you for the advice, Sara. I am just curious how you deal with cancellations as Airbnb has a penalty for too many in a certain period of time (not sure exactly as what the penalty is but it can affect superhost status and keeping the instant book option)—especially if the guests profile is otherwise faultless, except no reviews? 

Marla0
Level 2
San Francisco, CA

I have a letter printed in the room and also tell the guests directly that in my typical Victorian, the walls and floors are thin and the neighbors "directly below your room" can hear all your personal activity and voices, and to be sensitive to that. I look them in the eye and wink, and say "you know what I mean," to which they smile and agree. Still, there have been some who disregard it and/or who have been drinking and are totally unaware. In many cases, I texted them to ask them to keep it down. It's a really difficult situation. My neighbors are not happy about it and I can't sleep when this goes on during the night... or even during the day when we're all walking around in this tiny place! What we do for money!

 

Another problem this creates is what to write in their review. They may be really nice and otherwise "good guests" you don't want to create a bad impression of, but you have to be honest or future hosts will end up with the same situation.

Andrea9
Level 10
Amsterdam, Netherlands

@Marla0

Yeah,the funny thing is I feel more embarrassed for them about being forced to listen in on their activities! I'm not the NSA or CIA for goodness sakes ;D

To be honest though, it only happened to me with one couple, and even then they were fairly quiet, though the only ones after about 2 yrs of hosting quite a number of couples. After that I added to my description that:

the space is private, though not exactly 'Honeymoon material' 😉

 

After a while it felt a bit silly, so I took it down again. Since I happily don't use IB I've decided that if I get a request/inquiry from somebody which clearly lets me know their other from country X is just over or spending their honeymoon in Europe or other signals I'll simply add it to my usual "Did you see in my room description that ...., still quite private, though not exactly 'Honeymoon material' 😉

 

 

I don't care if they're having sex. I care that my tenants are being subjected to it. I can't afford to lose tenants who are paying a lot of money to live here. In my recent situation, the young couple is local, arrived intoxicated with no overnight bags, and told me the guy's roommate was sick. I both explained and gave them a letter asking them to be aware of their activities and voices, and I know they totally got it. Later on, after her wailing, I sent them a text that was apologetic and diplomatic, yet clear that I would appreciate their sensitivity. No reponse. A little while later, they were at it again, and she was LOUD, and then they were talking very loudly and making other noise moving chairs around or something. At this point it was nearly 11 pm, so I sent a second text and no response until over an hour later when he wrote "just saw this," but did not apologize. I have never had a guest say they were here on a honeymoon but I've also never had a guest show up with no luggage. When he inquired about the room, he asked if I would be there and some other questions which immediately sent up a red flag to me that (and I was 100% correct) they were looking for a room to get it on. Then they arrived an hour after they specified their arrival time, and reeked from alcohol. Exactly what I had anticipated.

 

After reading other comments here, I decided to alter my room description to say "This is not an appropriate room for a 'romantic getaway' due to a Victorian's thin walls/floors and downstairs tenants, so if this will inhibit your freedon of expression, please consider other lodging."

 

As others advised, I'm not going to give the otherwise polite and nice guy a terrible review because I considered his drunk and ditzy girlfriend more of the problem, but I'm not going to give him a great review either. The two previous reviewers had very nice comments to make, so I would assume if he is alone, he would be a perfect guest. He was complimentary and communicated well other than the fact that they showed up late.

 

Let's face it: we can't tell people not to have sex. It comes with the territory and you cannot police it. All you can do is make people aware that there are children, other guests, and neighbors in close range and that the environment is not soundproofed like a hotel. In cities where people live in multiple units like myself, it is a difficult situation to not anger tenants who will create a problem for you, which is why there is now so much resistance to shared housing: people hating the additional noise.

Andrea9
Level 10
Amsterdam, Netherlands

@Marla0

It will remain a slightly touchy and difficult situation. As long as somebody can instant book without more explanation and for a single night only it'll remain tempting for somebody to book for a 'romantic getaway'. The only way to get Airbnb's backing to remove somebody would be if they were breaking house rules. 

Hopefully your new addition to the description will discourage such visitors.

Yes you are right. I only have instant booking for a smaller room with a single bed. I specify no guests and give the dimensions of that bed saying it's for one person only. Take care, Andrea. I love the Dutch!