In style of Dr Seuss. Inspired by recent streek of "never good enough" guests. By Inna.
Let's say you are a host
And a good one, indeed
Then getting a Nevergoodenougher
Is truly a treat
A Nevergoodenougher is a guest who by far
Is the best of all guests
That arrive to your nest
Or house, apartment, a boat or flat
They are greater than greatest
We can make a bet!
It's dark and it's late
And you put on nightgown
When you hear a ding from your phone.
You look down.
The Nevergoodenougher has found some flauts!
He is up! He is happy!
He is checking the bolts
To make sure the door frame is screwed on just right
If not- it might fall! In the middle of the night!
The towels were washed but not with the bestest
Detergent that the Nevergoodenougher has personally tested
Location is all right
But the airport is not close
The pillows is too soft
For his neck, ears and nose
The check in was smooth
But the doormat did not smile
It is the rudest rug he has seen in a while!
The Nevergoodenougher departs
You sigh a relief.
A new day starts.
A good one but brief.
As the evening comes down- a knock on the door.
The Nevergoodenougher is back!
He liked the house and wants to stay more.
@Kath9 @Lawrene0 Oh, I don't get the magazine either. I've only read about its existence on these forums. Hosts either miffed that they don't get them or wondering how to get Airbnb to stop sending them.
If I did get them, I'm sure they'd go straight into the recycle bin after I thumbed through and got irritated to read them tooting their own horn and mouthing platitudes like about how valuable all us hosts are to them and how it's all about the sharing economy. I'd imagine they are full of slick luxe and plus feature articles and places that are cantilevered out over a private bay of flour-fine sand with infinity pools and 5 car garages. But maybe they're perfectly wonderful, how would I know.
You could probably get featured in one once you get that Roman aqueduct built, @Lawrene0 🙂
@Inna22 Where's the illustrations? Didn't have time for those while dealing with Mr.Fussypants?
@Inna22 I've never seen the magazine, so I don't know if they have a humor section, but I'd suspect not, they take themselves so seriously. And if they did, I doubt it would include the type of humor that makes us hosts spit our morning coffee over the computer screen 🙂