A poem about A Nevergoodenougher

Inna22
Level 10
Chicago, IL

A poem about A Nevergoodenougher

In style of Dr Seuss. Inspired by recent streek of "never good enough" guests. By Inna.

Let's say you are a host 

And a good one, indeed

Then getting a Nevergoodenougher

Is truly a treat

A Nevergoodenougher is a guest who by far

Is the best of all guests 

That arrive to your nest

Or house, apartment, a boat or flat

They are greater than greatest

We can make a bet!

It's dark and it's late

And you put on nightgown

When you hear a ding from your phone.

You look down.

The Nevergoodenougher has found some flauts!

He is up! He is happy!

He is checking the bolts

To make sure the door frame is screwed on just right

If not- it might fall! In the middle of the night!

The towels were washed but not with the bestest

Detergent that the Nevergoodenougher has personally tested

Location is all right 

But the airport is not close

The pillows is too soft

For his neck, ears and nose

The check in was smooth 

But the doormat did not smile

It is the rudest rug he has seen in a while!

The Nevergoodenougher departs

You sigh a relief.

A new day starts.

A good one but brief.

As the evening comes down- a knock on the door.

The Nevergoodenougher is back!

He liked the house and wants to stay more.

 

37 Replies 37
Branka-and-Silvia0
Level 10
Zagreb, Croatia
Sarah977
Level 10
Sayulita, Mexico

@Inna22  You are truly brilliant. That should be printed up as a book and sent to hosts instead of the stupid Airbnb magazine.

@Sarah977 what is this magazine you speak of? How come I don't get one? (not that I want one).

It is the Airbnb magazine that you and I don't get, @Kath9 , because you are in Australia and I am in Canada. US superhosts get it, I understand. 

Also, thanks, Dr. @Inna22 !

@Lawrene0, ah yes, we lesser citizens of the world...honestly, though, I'm happy to not get it and save a tree...

I receive this Airbnb magazine every month, and I am not super host in US. 

周蘭

@Kath9 @Lawrene0  Oh, I don't get the magazine either. I've only read about its existence on these forums. Hosts either miffed that they don't get them or wondering how to get Airbnb to stop sending them.

If I did get them, I'm sure they'd go straight into the recycle bin after I thumbed through and got irritated to read them tooting their own horn and mouthing platitudes like about how valuable all us hosts are to them and how it's all about the sharing economy. I'd imagine they are full of slick luxe and plus feature articles and places that are cantilevered out over a private bay of flour-fine sand with infinity pools and 5 car garages. But maybe they're perfectly wonderful, how would I know.

You could probably get featured in one once you get that Roman aqueduct built, @Lawrene0 🙂

@Inna22  Where's the illustrations? Didn't have time for those while dealing with Mr.Fussypants?

@Sarah977 Thank you!! Sorry I was not replying yesterday- had personal guests over. Everything was good enough for them! Do you think they will let me run the humor section for the magazine?

@Inna22 

 

The humour section for the next print run is already taken - feature on AJ from Montreal.

@Elena87 you are too funny!

@Inna22  I've never seen the magazine, so I don't know if they have a humor section, but I'd suspect not, they take themselves so seriously. And if they did, I doubt it would include the type of humor that makes us hosts spit our morning coffee over the computer screen 🙂

I do get it and there is no humor section 🙂

@Sarah977   you're not missing out, believe me...it's just Brian Chesky's expensive vanity project which allows him to add "publisher" to his resume.   



Kath9
Level 10
Albany, Australia

Hahahaha, @Inna22, brilliant!