All-adult group of guests

[David-and-Annie0]

Hi everyone, here I am again turning to this community: Lately I’ve had a few guests who requested to book get very angry with me b/c I politely and thoroughly explained that our place is not really suited for all-adults groups and is best for 1 or 2 small families (3 bedrooms: 1 has a king bed, 1 a queen bed, and the last one is kid-themed with 2 sets of bunk beds. City says we can have 8 occupants/guests) Not only are the bunk beds not very comfortable for adults, our house itself just isn’t really big enough/comfortable enough for 8 adults to lounge out in. Main table only has 6 places, etc.—however, if it’s a family or 2 with up to 4 kids, it’s not as crowded b/c there is a booth/kids table).

PLUS, I really worry that all-adult groups can equal partying. 

So, when such a group makes a request, I have been just explaining the bedroom layout and nicely asking them to withdraw their request. Most are fine with it. But not the last 2. It’s pretty unnerving to get yelled at by people—even if it’s just in writing. One woman—in all caps—said she would be contacting AIRBNB. 
Maybe you’re wondering why I don’t just state in the listing, “No all-adult groups.” Well, I’ve resisted doing that b/c I worry people will lie about it if I put it out there as something we’re not accepting. Am I worrying too much? We do have cameras outside, and state that we do in our listing, but people seem never to read that b/c they seem unaware the cameras are there—and we’ve caught people doing things they shouldn’t (smoking, etc). 
Anyway, should I just spell it out in the listing? Or not worry about people potentially getting upset about it and continue as is?

Thank you for reading this and for your input! 🙂

[Sally221]

I think  your potential guest was a nightmare in the making and would be trouble even if there were no party plans (and I agree there probably were).  Keep your 4 adult limit, if some one has Granny tagging along you can always make an exception,  it's your beautiful space being marketed to the guests you want to attract & I'm figuring abusive bullies are not a good fit for you, right? Many hosts are leery of booking folks with kids so you have a pretty big pool of potential guests, go ahead & be choosy!

[David-and-Annie0]

@Sally221 @Thanks! I always cringe when I see a booking request with 8 adults. I know I’m going to have to let them down. When we first started, I made exceptions and let it happen, but only once did I NOT regret it. 
8 adults is just too much and not appropriate to be sleeping on bunk beds. Most people take it graciously or just withdraw their request. Some even say “thank you,” but these last few angry ones have given me pause. Maybe I should just state flatly in the listing: “no all-adult bookings” or “no adults sleeping on bunk beds,” but there may be times I want to make an exception (for 1 extra adult, for example), or, like I said, people will know then that they can’t reveal that they have all-adults and may simply lie. 

[Lisa723]

@David-and-Annie0 people get mad when you advertise something for sale then appear to reject their application to buy it based on the characteristics of the buyer. (And this is fair.)  I would say either advertise exactly what bookings you will accept, or, in your reply to booking requests that trouble you, provide your explanation and ask them to withdraw the request only if they agree it will not work for them-- otherwise, accept.

[David-and-Annie0]

@Lisa723 Yeah, I know what you mean, and maybe I should just say in the listing, “no all-adult groups,” or “no adults on bunk beds,” but then I feel if a group really wants to book it, they may just lie. Maybe that’s too cynical or protective of me?
Our listing says there can be up to 8 people, but one of the bedrooms has 2 bunk beds and is completely decked out/decorated for kids—a play kitchen, toys, kid books, small hangers, kid art on the walls,  teddy bears—and it’s shown in the photos. So I kinda feel like I’m not falsely advertising when an all-adult group should see that one room is a kid room and not suitable for them. And often people don’t thoroughly look through a listing before they request to book, I’m come to discover. So I very nicely explain that the beds aren’t suitable or comfortable for adults to sleep on. I don’t know, I guess that’s not quite good enough since it’s pissing some people off...

[Lisa723]

@David-and-Annie0 I don't understand why you care if adults want to sleep in the kids' room after you have made clear what it is. For many people, a bedroom is just a place to sleep.

But if you are dead set on this, I would list your maximum occupancy as four, and note in the description that people who want to add kids can do so for an extra fee.

[Emilia42]

@Lisa723 The downfall of Airbnb is that if @David-and-Annie0 set the occupancy to 4 guests then a search with 2 adults and 3 children (which their home would be perfect for) would not show their listing. 

[Lisa723]

@Emilia42 of course. I personally would list for eight and allow informed and consenting adults who wish to use the kids' room to do so. But if I weren't going to allow bookings of eight adults, then I wouldn't list the property as accommodating eight.

But @David-and-Annie0 here's another idea for a compromise. List the property for a maximum of eight people, but with a hefty extra person fee for each guest over four. Then make prominent in the listing description and/or title that you will waive the extra person fee for children.

[David-and-Annie0]

Mmm, I’ll have to think about this...I have resisted the idea of charging extra for guests because I’m afraid people will just lie on the headcount. (Our friends with 3 places up here say that happens a lot to them.)

I think adding some captions under the bunk beds that they are not suitable for adults, changing our description to say it’s best for 1-2 small families, and putting kid photos towards the beginning of photos will help. (All suggestions by this community: thank you!!)  I’ll be trying that and hoping it helps. If I’m still getting angry people, I’ll have to spell it out explicitly or figure something else out. 

[Colleen253]

@David-and-Annie0  I don't think you are far off in thinking some guests will lie. This would be trading one headache for another, and it will prove to be a bigger one, once guests are installed. I do think you are on the right track already. And as you say, the majority of guests are polite and understanding about it.

[Colleen253]

"One woman—in all caps—said she would be contacting AIRBNB." My answer would have been "good luck with that". 🙄 

@David-and-Annie0 Seems to me you are on the right track. "....I’ve resisted doing that b/c I worry people will lie about it if I put it out there as something we’re not accepting." Spot on with that. The ALL CAPS SHOUTING wench would have been the first one lying to get in your place.

Carry on 😉

[David-and-Annie0]

@Colleen253 Thanks! I think my instincts are correct, and I’m been doing pretty well following them as far as guests go. It’s very important to me to protect our house and steer clear of guests who won’t respect it—more important than being booked non-stop. And when someone acts like that (all-caps woman), I think, “wow—dodged a bullet there!” (Strangely enough, she had many good reviews!)

But after having a few people get so angry, it gave me pause. And I worry a bit that Airbnb will come down on us (or drop our listing in search results) if people complain about us. Also, I am a people pleaser and it upsets me when people get angry with me. I guess I’ll have to toughen up. People can just be so rude!!!

[Colleen253]

@David-and-Annie0  "And when someone acts like that (all-caps woman), I think, “wow—dodged a bullet there!” 

I would tend to agree with you. Someone who reacts like that is showing their true colors and woiuld no doubt go on to be trouble. No one needs a guest like that. Even if one needs all the bookings they can get, a problematic guest is rarely worth it.

Focus on pleasing the people/guests who are worth the effort 😊

[Mike-And-Jane0]

@David-and-Annie0 You could, perhaps, add into the listing -perhaps under the photos of the bunk beds that these are not suitable for adults. This also has the advantage that you can point to these captions if all adults book and say 'sorry but it appears that you missed......'

[David-and-Annie0]

That is an excellent idea! I am going to do that now. Thank you.