@Mila1127 Firstly, I’d like to say thank you for asking for advice, rather than reacting negatively to the guest involved in your situation.
I’ll break my reply into two parts, first part is easy. I recommend you look at your local laws and make a conscious decision about hosting and the time periods. Remember that the rights given to longer-stay guests has come up a lot on this forum, and invariably, in places where they become tenants, it can become a problem. Personally I haven’t experienced it, and prefer long-stay guests, and I even offer big discounts to encourage it, but there’s enough comments to make me believe it could be an issue.
Second issue is more complex. First thing I would say is that those of us who suffer from mental health issues don’t always perceive the world in the way neurotypical people do, even when we appear “fine”. It could turn a reasonable conversation from a concerned host to someone prying, harassing, or simply feeling so uncomfortable that we shut down. That’s not your fault, but it may help to see the other side, since it’s harder for some of us with mental health issues to do that.
The second thing I’d say is that no two people experience mental health in the same way. Different conditions, personalities, experiences, genetics, medication all play a factor in a very complex situation. That’s often the reason for behaviours that would appear odd or unusual - were not reacting to the same perceived situation as you, and our experiences may have taught us to be cautious. Some good general points are to ask what helps that individual, demonstrate any commitments, and try to remain consistent. Mind is a UK-based charity which has some fantastic resources of which I genuinely believe everyone should take advantage - irrespective of what you do or where you are.
In terms of what you do in this situation? Ultimately, your guest’s problem isn’t yours, so it’s up to you. You could ride it out, write the drinks off as annoying but a deed that will earn you some good karma. Or you could ask them to leave, I mean, its low level, but it is theft (or would be here).
There is a welfare concern here, and whilst not your lawful responsibility, you’re a human, and they’re a human, and if we were talking about a broken arm, you know exactly what you’d do. It’s just that mental health is generally a little harder or unfamiliar for us to handle compared to physical health. If you don’t think they are well, encourage them to speak to a physician, or take them to a designated place of safety (that’s a UK name, but I’m sure every country has an equivalent). Even offering details for a organisation that signposts people to the right services can mean the world to someone in crisis.
Finally, and I don’t think you are, but for others reading this, always try to remember not to judge. It’s ok not to understand, and it’s ok not to know what to do. Ask for help, keep open lines of communication, and just do your best. You probably won’t change their whole world, but even a moment of kindness can give someone the strength and encouragement to survive one more day, and it will certainly contribute to a better future for everyone.
