Day 9--A Japanese Exchange that Just Kept Giving

Kimberly54
Level 10
San Diego, CA

Day 9--A Japanese Exchange that Just Kept Giving

This story started around 1975. 

 

My parents were tired of hosting teenage students and had requested instead, a professor. 

 

Mr. (Professor) Toshi arrived one early summer day with his 15 young students who were hosted in homes nearby.  The visit was for about 2 weeks, and almost daily the students, their host families, and Mr. Toshi would gather at the local school.  We had all arranged for American cultural home-town experiences—the County Fair, local farms, our local town, a big-time local historic site, the Buena Vista winery (with limestone ageing caves), fresh bread and local cheeses picnic... and a trip to The Big City (San Francisco)! 

 

When we picked him up from the airport, he was gracious, and quiet.  My little brother (around 10 yrs) was trying to teach him English (???).  “That’s a HOOOORRRRSSSe.”  Sounding the word ‘Horse’ out as we drove by a farm.  “This is a CAAARRRR… and that’s a L-I-B-R-A-R-Y!”  Little brother, the ambassador and self-appointed linguistic advisor?  (We did our very best to silence him, but he was so sincere, and really won Mr. Toshi’s heart.)

 

My mother recalls Mr. Toshi reading the paper in the morning, asking, “What is this? ‘There is not a mean bone in his body?’”   We talked a lot about meanings and metaphors.  It was fascinating.  He asked so many questions.

 

We all--both slowly and so quickly--developed not just a deep connection, but a love that would  tie our families together for more than 40 years.

 

Mr. Toshi was a soft-spoken sage, in every sense of that word.  He was kind, polite; not the least aware of any of our customs, and also very much like a kid in a candy shop—eyes wide open, every minute.  This was his first time to America.

 

He brought ‘instant Miso soup’ packets with him so that he never felt too far from home, and helped himself to a raw egg with hot rice and soy sauce for breakfast, other than the meals he was subjected to for the rest of the day.  He did not care for green bell peppers—he would never have complained, but the look on his face when we offered him seconds.... WE KNEW.

Mom quietly and suddenly said, “Oh dear, this might not be your favorite?”  He finally confessed and we all started talking about horrible cultural foods!  We were all laughing.

 

Still makes me smile that this silly thing has stuck in everyone’s mind after all these years.

 

My dad was quite the international and we were all adept with chopsticks, which made our new guest feel even more at ‘home.’  Sweet.  (Can you pick up a single grain of rice?  YES!  Can you pick up a pasta noodle???  HAHAH!  Of course he could, but he let us have the game!)

 

We really didn’t have a ‘spare’ room, so my brother got a sleeping bag on the floor in the room I shared with our little sister. (This no doubt would have been exciting to him… sort of like camping-out!)

 

We took Mr. Toshi to visit a couple of Japanese shops during a visit to nearby San Francisco where he was amazed that many of the same products were less expensive than in Japan! 

 

Aside from the times touring around and spending time on campus with the other kids, the evenings were absolutely enchanting. 

 

His English was actually quite good, and he expressed himself…slowly, in a soft voice…full of thought… in a way that humbled us.  Such kindness.  “If you know another’s language, you know his heart.”

 

I called my family to complete this story:

 

My father reflected, “How do you go about making friends?  It just happens… and then there is some element of time, and exposure.  We had nothing similar in background.  But Toshi had an ability to engage which was staggering. The depth and wisdom made me feel like a minion.”

 

Mr. Toshi brought some of his philosophical writings with him, and reading anything he’d written, you knew you were in the presence of a true Master.  His words were full of beauty and richness and insight.  He wasn’t just a philosopher, he was a sage.  This was the kindest, deepest wisdom.  In some ways, and actually in many ways, he changed not just the way we thought of things, but our lives. 

 

The kids:  Once among the Japanese kids, my little brother—with black hair, deep blue eyes, and quite the little man, had become a STAR and every little girl wanted to marry him!  He fell in love with the oldest girl, taller than him, large breasts(?), quite the beauty, and soooo sweet.  All of the kids were amazing.  Did we understand each other’s language?  Most of the time, probably not.  Did we understand each other? Absolutely YES.  So much laughter, so many smiles; open hearts and minds.

 

There was a talent show at the end for all the kids, tons of fun, and tears were flowing like rivers when we had to say good-bye! =-(((

 

Two years later, I applied for a scholarship for a year of study in Japan, and eventually made it to a brief visit to Professor and Mrs. Toshi’s house during my stay. 

 

About a year after my return to America, my father was transferred to Japan for about 5 years where he and Toshi met regularly; a short train ride away near a sacred temple.  They had become the best of friends.

 

Upon Toshi’s death, we were notified.  Mrs. Toshi did not have any English, but I still read and wrote Japanese (wow, that last part isn’t so easy anymore!), and we exchanged cards and a couple of letters. 

 

Over the years, I have had experiences, either as a host or a guest… and a few have been truly life-changing.  This is why I have decided to host again.  (Oh, and I DO have an extra room and bathroom now!) Many of these visits have made my life so amazingly rich—and not just me, but for everyone.  This kind of experience is what it is all about:  Live, love, share! 

 

For this story, I interviewed my mom, dad, and little brother to fill in little details I might have forgotten.  Writing all the while, I had a smile on, and shed more than a few tears in his honor. 

 

Dedicated with all of our love to Mr. Professor Toshi.

 

Best to all,

 

 

PS: and with AirBnB, it’s not your obligation to be a driving tour-guide!

Kim
19 Replies 19

Hi @Kimberly54 !

 

 Awhhh ! How wonderful !

 

To meet such a person when young & be impressed & influenced all your life is, to me, one of the beauties of life. How lucky you were to learn from this gentle soul.

 

Wouldn't it be terrific if all children had the chance & the luck to meet such profound characters, especially from another culture. I may be wrong, but it would surely contribute to us building better relationships in/ with this puzzling world around us.

 

By the way, Kim, do you know/like the haiku poems of Japan?

 

Here's one of my favourites from 18th century

 

Light of the moon

Moves west, flowers' shadows

Creep eastwards.

 

So profound, eh?  Also,

 

 

A summer river being crossed

How pleasing

With sandals in my hands!

 

I remember this last one every time I am swimming in the mornings, It gets me in the water because I know that pleasant, happy feeling will follow & reminds me how lucky I am.

 

All the best, Kim, & with your listing!

 

Ann.

 

@Βασίλης-and-Ann0, I LOVE the 'sandals in my hands'! 

 

What you say is so true.  To recognize and be grateful for all of the miracles in our lives... which, honestly (if we will simply look!) happen every day. 

 

We are indeed blessed. 🙂

 

Much love,

 

Kim

@Βασίλης-and-Ann0, I LOVE the haiku with the sandals.

 

Yes, this is precious.  What I learned, I enjoy EVERY DAY to pass on. 

 

Sharing!  This is what it's all about.

 

Best always, and thank you for the kind words.

 

PS: You and Βασίλης would be welcome here any time!

Kim

Hi @Kimberly54

 

Thanks Kim, yes, I, too,love  haiku poems, think they could be taught to children in school. So philosophical, mysterious & so easy to remember.Only ever 3 or 4 lines. Each & every one of them has some kind of message(s) to pass on, finding that message is special & amazing, which could tap in to kid's natural curiosity.

I love anything to do with philosophy & history - do you know the story of ex-slave Aesops ,(of Aesops' fables fame) who lived in a ceramic pot in ancient Athens and was approached by the mighty Alexander the Great?

 

Well, here it is,anyway.

 

Alexander, having loved Aesops' famous tales, wanted to meet & offer him anything he wanted. Aesops thanked him & said " Yes, there is just one thing, would you kindly move out of the way because you're blocking out the sun"

 

Wow ! This still gives me goose pimples to this day !!  Blows me away every time!

 

Best wishes, always,

 

Ann & Vassilis.

@Βασίλης-and-Ann0... gotta love that, right?

 

My undergrad degree is in Philosophy!

Kim
Helga0
Level 10
Quimper, France

@Kimberly54, some guests make lasting impressions and may become friends or part of the family. I should know: my father rented a room in my grandmother’s house 😉 

It’s good for the kids to meet people from other cultures from an early age. It can be mind opening. When it led you to learn a language from the other side of the world, it was a great gift to meet your professor!

Edwin57
Level 10
New York, United States

Thank you for sharing WOW 

Branka-and-Silvia0
Level 10
Zagreb, Croatia

@Kimberly54 this is such a wonderfull story 🙂 

@Branka-and-Silvia0, it is!  And you know what was so much fun?  Interviewing my parents and my brother about what they remembered!  Truly.  My dear dad isn't as 'with it' as he once was... I told him the day before the 'interview' that I was going to be asking him about what he remembered about Toshi... just to get his mind working.  No questions until the next day.  When I called him, he said, "I hope you're recording this."  🙂 "Wouldn't miss it for the world."  And he was really speaking from the softest place in his heart ever--and he was absolutely articulate.  THIS was a real treasure--not only for me, but for him.  He even called my mom (they have been many decades divorced) and even THEY had a really, really nice conversation!

 

Just writing this story touched--or re-touched--us all so deeply.  I'm really grateful to our admin @lizzie for suggesting this project for our community. 

 

🙂

With love!

 

Kim
J-Renato0
Level 10
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Kimberly

Beautiful story.  Thanks for sharing it! 🙂

Karen-and-Brian0
Level 10
Bragg Creek, Canada

Such a beautiful story @Kimberly54! Thanks so much for sharing - Karen

@Karen-and-Brian0 My god, look how you have grown....it seemed no time at all that we were discussing whether you had enough reviews for Superhost status.....look at you now!

Congratulations guys, you deserve it, well done!

Cheers.....Rob

Thanks @Robin4 So good to see you here again! Hope all is well with you & yours down under. 🙂 Hope you have a very Merry Christmas & all the best for the New year!

Marie82
Level 10
New South Wales, Australia

@Kimberly54 thank you for sharing such a wonderfull story