Does it ever hurt to ask?

[Inna22]

I have a guest who has been asking for lots of things I don't and can't offer. I hate saying no to guests. It sets off the wrong tone before they even move in. I have offered her full refund since this is clearly not a good match.

She is now on the second round of asking for same things but with a slightly different angle. When I point it out "I know we have gone over this and I am sorry if I did not make it clear..." she replies "I know we did but never hurts to ask". Well, it does hurt! It hurts my brain to come up with endless PC responses, it hurts me emotionally because I am bracing for a negative review and it hurts my hands to keep typing my answers

[Sarah977]

@Inna22 Perhaps your next response to her should be your last sentence above.

My youngest daughter had 2 friends, sisters, when she was growing up, whose parents always said yes to everything those girls asked to do, even if they first said no, whereas when I told my girls no, it meant no. Those girls would take my daughter aside and whisper in her ear, "Tell your mom......." to get me to change my mind. They weren't bad kids, but that used to just make me want to send them home.

When the older girl, who was the worst in that respect, once phoned at 7am on a Sunday morning, when our whole household was still asleep and let the phone ring 30 times, I went to talk to her mom to say she was banned from calling our house for a week. Her mom said, "Well, when the girls were young, we decided it was easier to say yes than no, so we just always said yes. Now that they're getting older, I can see that it might be a problem."

Duh, ya think?.

[Inna22]

@Sarah977 when I call people that I really need (at work), I always dial twice. Most people pick up on the second time! I wonder how those girls are doing as adults

[Sarah977]

@Inna22 The younger girl is cool-she even got elected to city council. The older one is still a princess who wants to always direct the show.

[Christine615]

There are some people who just can't stop pushing. When I was a long term landlord for my unit I had two  young ladies rent the space who were constantly breaking the rules and asking for things and when I would say no (No you can't have a rent decrease so you can save up to buy a house, no you can't have new appliances, No you can't keep the dog you snuck in that scratched up my 100-year old historic doors) they would respond with "But I asked nicely!"

Lord help me the people who say "I can't hurt to ask" are those who remind us to be grateful for the great guests we get who are more appreciative (and more mature).

Your current guests are limbic brain vs. pre-frontal cortex. Just assume it's a mental issue they can't help and tune them out (or pity them). Then put the phone on mute - lol! (P.S. Put better suited to a hotel in their review so the rest of us will know to give them a wide berth).

[Robin4]

@Inna22 

As @Christine615  says, there are always those who do not know when to stop pushing the choke and I know exactly how you are feeling Inna. As hosts I think all of us do what we do because we genuinely want to help. That is evidenced by the effort we all put into what we do. We all like to feel we have done our best, put in that extra yard for the guest......and when it's not enough, it does hurt.

I was a bit hurt today! This morning I got only the second 3 star review that I have had since I have been hosting. In over 400 reviews (369 of them here on Airbnb) I have only ever had 1 x 3 star before today.

The things I got pinged on were.....

Cleanliness.....Just inside the entry door there is a European Wasp nest high up on the wall. There is nothing in it, we had the exterminator in 2  years ago and he got rid of the inhabitants and he was going to knock the nest itself off the wall. I stopped him because it looked quite cool, you don't see their nests often  because they build underground. I explain to every guest what it is and why it's there, they all understand that and appreciate it for what it is, most are really intrigued by it...... but this guest took exception to it!

He also gave me a 3 star for value, a 3 star for location, and for accuracy.

When I saw that, it hurt, it hurt me terribly. I would lay a bet I put more effort into what I do than what he puts into what he does. 

In the great scheme of things it doesn't matter, it probably says more about him than it says about me but Inna, we have this inbuilt sense that we want to help.....and when what we do is not good enough, it hurts! 

I understand how you feel!

Cheers.......Rob

[Melodie-And-John0]

@Robin4 , Rob, I think the nest is pretty cool personally!   3 stars is an insult from self absorbed idiots not worthy of wasting a millimeter of  your grey matter on.   They certainly don't deserve a chance to rate you again, stay well, JR

[Robin4]

@Melodie-And-John0 

You are right John but, it does hurt mate! I leave no stone unturned here to make sure the guest stay is as good as it is possible for me to make it.

Occasionally I get a 4 star, and that's okay, nothings perfect but this is only the second 3 star I have ever had. We just didn't manage to hit the mark anywhere.....

My cottage is exactly as shown in the photos, I personally show every guest through the cottage on check-in, this is what I provide for every guest....and bare in mind this guy was an overnighter.......but this is what he got!

I am left wondering what he would actually consider to be good value....perhaps I should have just given it to him for the night at no charge!

John, I am having a rant here but this is all Airbnb's fault because they tell the guest in the review process that a three star is acceptable, the stay meets their expectations.

The guest is only doing what Airbnb tell them to do.......

 It's an aberration, the next guest loved their stay and I am back on the 5 star wagon again but I do wish this company would place a little bit more emphasis on what we actually do, than what the guest thought they might in dreamland get!

Cheers........Rob

[Helen350]

Obviously the type who compares everything with a 5* hotel @Robin4 , & has no idea how Airbnb rating works..... 😞 - (That platter is amazing!)

[Colleen253]

@Robin4 Sounds like this was the type of person who gets a thrill from tearing others down, just for shiggles. Knowing your hosting style, your listing and what you offer, sounds sketchy that this was an honest assessment of their stay. Some people are just twisted.

[Inna22]

@Robin4 if you get a three star review, there is really truly no hope for me. I will have to remind myself that even you get three stars every time I get super frustrated.

[Sarah977]

@Robin4  That is one cool nest. Never seen one like that before. I have a collection of things my dog has brought home from her wanderings around my countryside/jungle neighborhood. Part of an armadillo shell, a couple of cow horns, a goat skull. I call it Minga's Museum of Natural History.

Nest was "questionable" ??? What on earth was that supposed to mean, you already told them it was an unactive nest. Did they think you were lying? Idiots.

[Robin4]

@Sarah977 

I will give serious thought to removing the nest now, I have to understand that other people do not think the way I do. I have a lot of personal things around because I hope it makes guests feel like they are home, or at least make them feel like I am inviting them to share a bit of my life.

I didn't see this coming Sarah, which is why I blame Airbnb for this one. His initial message was fine....."Hi Robin! My girlfriend and I will be visiting the Mt Barker and Hahndorf area for a relaxing getaway" .....no red flags there, and he seemed pleasant enough, not demanding in any way, and although he only had two previous reviews, they were okay. I think he genuinely felt he was doing what Airbnb said he should do......nothing was really wrong, but everything could have been better! His review simply said....'It was fine'.

Until Airbnb explain to guests how their ratings affect the host, this is going to keep on happening, we just have to accept it!

I love the sound of Minga's museum of natural history......as long as it's dead when it turns up!

Cheers.......Rob

[Mark116]

@Robin4  I might ask why he gave a 3 star for accuracy, that seems to mean, but then you can never tell, that there was something significantly different about his experience than what he expected. And also only 3 stars for check in, which seems odd, given what I know about  your thoroughness.  Maybe he's just an a**h***. 

[Robin4]

@Mark116 

Thanks for the support Mark, yeah there was nothing rational about the ratings he gave. I have never had less than a 5 star for check-in the entire time I have been hosting. I only once had  a 4 star for accuracy when the electric bed was broken by a previous guest and the lift function wasn't working as advertised for a week or two.

Check-in with this guest was smooth and exactly as I do for all guests, I give them a brief tour of what does what in the cottage and then leave them to it!

The check-in was as the guest expected which is why I got the 3. Had I been standing at the gate with a bottle of wine in one hand and a box of chocolates in the other  and a half refund voucher clenched between my teeth, then maybe I would have got a 4 or even a 5!

As I said before, this is Airbnb's doing, not the guests, it does not give me the slightest hint on what to do better, how to brush up my game....apart from get rid of the wasp nest!

I have gone to substantial lengths to explain how the Airbnb review system differs from all others, in my house rules........

But if the guest is not an experienced Airbnb user and does not read the house rules folder, then this is what happens, we just get nonsensical reviews.

Cheers.........Rob