Fellow hosts, how would you have handled this?

[Suzanne302]

This incident has come and gone, but I would love to hear how you would have handled it. I received this message from my guest during the stay:

"Good morning! I know you don’t want us to have parties, but I did offer my sister and her ball date to come here to change in to uniform. They will be driving from [city] and needed somewhere to get ready before the ball. I hope this is alright! All they are doing is changing into uniform and getting ready."

I rent a room in my home so my policy is no guests. I have, in the past, had a mother visiting her daughter who I told she was welcome to invite her daughter over (unsolicited, I just offered it).

This particular guest never even got back to me about check-in time and just showed up very loudly at 10:30pm on check-in day, which kind of set the stay off on a negative note anyway.

In my opinion, she's not asking, she's telling me. How would you have responded to this message?

[Paul154]

As a host, I find this request reasonable. People are in new cities with different reasons.

To entertain family or friends for a limited time for a specific reason is fine with me.

Just so the guest is discrete and respectful.

As this is Airbnb, Airbnb only has a toggle for "guests/party"

But there are so many shades of gray in between "A huge party" and "No guests like a 50s woman's dorm".

As a host, I don't want to give permission for an out of control party and sleepover guests.

But I don't mind reasonable pre-event meetings - I would appreciate that as a guest.

[Lawrene0]

"Thanks for letting me know. Will you be breaking any further house rules, Sally?"

That would be a guaranteed bad review from the guest, but fun as a draft reply...

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

😄 LOL  @Lawrene0

[Suzanne302]

@Lawrene0 Hahaha!

@Paul154 Thanks! I think I was just sour because she was a loud guest and I don't like being "told" what to do. 🙂 Had she asked instead of just assuming it's okay, I would have been fine with it.

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Suzanne302

If they asked first I think most hosts would have "reluctantly" agreed. But the fact is........ the guest assumed and TOLD YOU how things will be in YOUR home. 

I don't think I'd personally put up with this type of attitude or behavior from any guest. I think I'd probably tell the guest I won't allow it and express how upset I am that they'd try to take advantage of my hospitality. Depending on how long their stay is, I might be tempted to kick them out and refund them for nights not stayed for even TRYING to break my rules - I can always claim I am no longer comfortable having that person in my home and do not trust them. 

I usually push right back and deal with the consequences later. I'd rather risk getting a bad review than let a guest like that get her way. 

[Pete28]

The tidiest and more respectful guests I have ever had have been ex military. Give them a break !

[Suzanne302]

Of course I can't tag you Pete!

She was a very young marine, so not ex-military. Unfortunately, I hosted another very young marine a few months ago and he was actually pretty disrespectful of my home, very loud, and left the room and bathroom a mess. Perhaps they both need a few more years...

[Rachel0]

@Suzanne302 What intrigues me about this is that she "sent" you a message when she was staying in the same house as you.  Why did she not ask you to your face?  I rent space in my own home, just like you, and if I had guests sending me messages rather than just coming downstairs and speaking to me, I would be rather concerned that there was a communication problem.  

[Suzanne302]

I was not home at the time.

[Allison2]

Yeah, I'd be irritated by this message. Fundamentally it's because she intends to break your house rule, but her breezy informing rather than asking really rubs me the wrong way.

"Dear Guest,

I'm sorry to throw a wrench in your plans but your friends will need to prep elsewhere. My house rules, which you agreed to at booking, say "Only those guests who are on the reservation are allowed on the property."

I chose the max guest count and this house rule because there are insurance and occupancy regulations I need to follow to host legally and safely.

I know it sounds like it shouldn't be a big deal to bring a couple extra people, but it puts my ability to host in jeopardy, so I really can't allow it. Again, I apologize for the inconvenience and hope you understand!

All the best..."

[Suzanne302]

@Allison2Exactly. And although I know the chances of something happening are slim, it really IS a liability since she has paid to rent my room, these aren't just people coming over to visit me at my house. And if they had damaged something I'd probably never get compensated.

[Suzanne302]

@Allison2Like I said, this incident was over before I posted it here, but I used some of your wording in my private feedback to the guest in her review. Thanks!

[Yulianna0]

@Suzanne302, better don’t allow it. They will create a mess in your home for sure. And very possible that your guest will go on changing your rules according to her wishes. I like the suggestion of @Allison2. Professional and respectful “No”! 

[Ned-And-Laura0]

I'd let them, I mean whats the harm?  Doesn't cost you anything.  If they want to shower and take a nap and hang out half the day that's different.  But if it were me I'd try and be as helpful as possible and let them use the room as a place to change.  It's a reasonable request and I think the reason they worded their message the way they did is ebcause they assumed that it was a reasonable request and a reasonable host would respond with "of course, no problem at all".