Gratitude and guests

[Cari3]

This year I’d had 3 young women make a non-cancellable booking for a month each and then want to cancel after having had my calendar booked for months.  In one instance the guest never replied to any of my messages and then never arrived and I had to hunt her down.  In all 3 cases I explained that they would have to cancel as I wasn't prepared to lose my super host status but I gave them my word that if they my calendar could be opened for bookings, I would refund them up to the amount airbnb paid me depending on what replacement bookings I received during the period of their booking.  I'm lucky in that I have 4 airbnb's that are always full.  I was able to refund 1 in full and 2 a bit shy of what I received from airbnb for their booking  But here’s the interesting thing.. once I’ve sent the money to them, I haven’t had even an acknowledgement (much less a Thank you) from a single one of them.  Guess I’m just old fashioned and grew up in an era where manners matter.  I’d certainly be grateful if a host did that (quite big thing when we're talking about some big money) for me. And then I have these sweet guests whose shower is faulty and I apologise for their inconvenience and ask them if they would mind using our shower.   I’m just ‘making a plan’ as a host because I want to do whatever I possibly can to keep my guests happy and they go on and on thanking us for what is such a small thing.   In general the latter has been my experience with my airbnb guests… so I’m so puzzled at these 3 young ladies lack of gratitude.

[Lenore22]

Especially if they never met you, they may just be thinking "transactionally." Eg "They said they would refund if they could and they did. Done."

Versus a guest you've been interacting with who is actually staying has developed much more of a rapport with you. If you additionally offered something of yours as a solution, you've cultivated much more of a relationship with them. So they are likely to respond much more "humanly" and with appreciation for you, as a person. That's what a homeshare is. 

But when they've just done the reservation/cancellation online, you are still more like a hotel from their perspective, even though for you, it's still your home you're sharing. It's just a matter of perspective.

[Cari3]

Hi Lenore, before most of my guests arrive, I've pretty much have some personal communication with them whether it's thanking them for their booking and commenting on why they are visiting, offering tips of things to do etc....  In all of these cases (in particular), I had multiple communications with each of them before they cancelled....firstly when they booked then when they were wanting to cancel and then keeping them informed any time another booking came in that would go their way.    Yes, I get that they just think it's a transaction - and maybe I live in a fool's paradise hoping that they see airbnb as something much more personal than just a hotel.  Anyways, it's not a biggie, it was just an observation that made me a bit sad.

[Donna184]

These three women disrespected you. Too bad as hosts we can not put be aware on them. Beware. A red dot would work.

The Airbnb guests need to know we are not a hotel.  Often dependent on the income to hold space.

I as a super host myself send you a thank you for moving forward in hosting the the nice guests. Just arrived home from an Airbnb which I looked after with the care I give my own home and Airbnb. 

Manners of Thank-you start at age three and we wish all people followed in grateful footsteps forward. Thanks Donna

[Cari3]

Thanks Donna - that's part of there problem... I think people forget we aren't hotels.  Younger generations also value thank you's less than my generation does - or so it seems.

Kindly Cari

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

So, @Cari3  you've learned a lesson and will not refund anyone in the future?

[Cari3]

Lol... no I'll still refund people just because it's what I'd like someone to do for me...but I will keep a certain percentage so handle the new replacement bookings, and I just won't expect any gratitude in return.

[Colleen253]

@Cari3 In all these cases, the guests were giving you major hints at their lack of consideration and manners, before you refunded for replaced bookings. Disappointing thoughtless behavior yes, and I certainly wouldn't be bending over backward to refund in full. Make it too pleasant and easy for them, and they'll never wake up and learn to be different.

[Cari3]

Hi Colleen - I think the only thing I'll do differently is that I will tell them I will refund them less 20%...but they will know that up front.  I mean,  having an empty airbnb that's been fully paid for would make my life a breeze.

[Ann72]

@Cari3  I've had similar experiences this year and I've also marveled at the people who received a surprise refund and never said a word in thanks.  

I was listening to the writer and podcaster Adam Grant last night, and he said that building character leads to more success than any other action.

These people who think they don't have to say thank you because it was a transaction are the losers of the world.  You are the winner.  Keep being generous.  You don't have to get a response to know that you did the right thing.

[Cari3]

HI Ann, I definitely won't let this experience stop me doing what I believe in, but I feel a bit sad that values have shifted in a way that I don't believe helps our society.  Like I say, I'm just a bit old fashioned with an old fashioned value system.