Guest was polite but smelled terribly

Olga26
Level 2
Helsinki, Finland

Guest was polite but smelled terribly

Hi community!

I would need some advise on an awkward situation that I am in. Namely, the guest who stayed with us for 9 days was somewhat weird looking and we all noticed that something is a bit wrong with him when he arrived (he has some tics with his eyes). On the other hand, he was quiet, causious and shy. But still looking at me in a strange manner. He doesn't speek English well though, so I assumed that he just doesn't understand.

For the first few days everything went well, I tried to communicate with him a bit, asked him about his experience with the city and alike, all in all he seams like an ok person.

But then our ordeal started: his clothes started smeliing on sweat and soon our whole apartment was stinking like a zoo. He was walking around seamingly not noticing it at all and keeping the door of his room open while inside. At some point I decided that I cannot relly keep quiet and allow my family and the our roomate endure that, so I offered him to wash his clothes. But he was going away for two nights and he said "when he comes back". I asked him to at least put his clothes in a bag, which he did, but he left the bag open, so, when he went out, I entered the room and rapped the bag twice around the stinking pile, which didn't help because his other stuff was equally smelly (and so were my sheets and even the bead, which I discovered later when he checked out). Then, when he came back he didn't mention washing clothes, and he was about to check-out the next day anyway, and it was too late to prevent the contamination, so I decided not to insist. 

 

To cut the story short, he left two days ago, we are trying to exterminate the smell from the room since and it is still present. I washed every bloody thing - blanket, pillow, cushions, even the soft anatomic back rest that we keep at the chair - everything was smelling like an elephant stable. Still, I cannot really wash the bead. Grrrr! And I have the next guest coming in a few hours. SO embarrassing! But that's a lesson and I shall be more careful when accepting guests, especially guests from certain parts of the world...

 

Now the question is a review: How do I write a review for him? He was not unpolite, he was otherwise really ok... he just doesn't seam to have a sense of smell.

I wouldn't like to write a bad review because it would not be accurate, but I would like to warn other hosts in some way...

 

Anyone smarter then me?

Thanks!

Olga

27 Replies 27
Robin4
Level 10
Mount Barker, Australia

@Olga26 Hi Olga, It is a fact of life that people become de-sensitised to smells or odours they live with. Most people would not consider that their house smells (particularly people with animals) but strangers to their environment can find it really unpleasant. The major instance of this effect is womens perfume! How many times have you been in a busy street or shopping centre and had a woman with an overwhelmingly strong perfume somewhere in your vicinity....she can't smell it because she lives with it all the time! She has become desensitised to it. I deliver for a volunteer meals organisation called Meals on Wheels and some of the houses we have to go into forces us to hold our breath for as long as possible. Truly smells I could not live with, but they don't even notice.

 

The same with this guest of yours, he would have been totally un-aware that his personal smell was anything less than perfect!

As you said he was polite and a reasonable guest so it is hard to criticise him for something he is not aware of. People in different parts of the world have standards of hygiene that may vary greatly from yours.

You should leave him a short polite review along the lines of....'***** was a pleasant guest who obeyed our house rules but whose personal habits differed from ours' and just leave it at that. Other hosts will associate that with a problem of some sort that would have to be dealt with and maybe read his other reviews before accepting.

Olga, I know you have to go to a considerable amount of effort to erase traces of him....just as you do if you host a smoker, even though they may not smoke inside, they still bring awful traces of it with them.....But, don't demonise him. Cheers....Rob

I absolutely would say something in the review:

 

"xxxx was a polite and respectful guests who kept quiet and obeyed house rules. If I were to host xxxxx again I would require that he shower & wash all clothes immediately prior to arrival, and throughout the stay so that personal odors be kept personal."

How about "his standards of hygiene had us scratching our heads." The idiomatic way of saying it conveys there was a problem without really demonizing the man himself. 

I would not mention it. If you did not have the courage to talk to him about the smell while he was living with you, it is unfair to shame him publicly now.

Peter0
Level 10
London, United Kingdom

He could be anosmic like me. I have never smelt anything at all in my life. I suggest a private comment that his clothing was a bit smelly and he might not have realised.

@Peter0 Oh dear! It has not even crossed my mind that it might be so. Thank you Peter for that input!

 

YOU CAN DO IT PRIVATELY WHEN YOU WRITE  THE REVIEW ONE IS PUBLIC AND ONE IS GUEST PERSONALLY

@Monica4

Hi Monica! 

Thank you for your answer, I am myself thinking to even not write any review, but I don't think that I would be fair to other hosts.
And I in fact mentioned it to him. I told that his clothes are smelling and offered him to wash them. When he told that he'd do it after two days I asked him to put the clothes in a bag. And I have no intention of so ever to shame him, but the reviews exist to also warn other people of what they may expect with the particular guest or host. As a host I would highly appreciate having that information about someone. It might even not prevent me from accepting a guest, but I would know what I need to coomunicate with them in advance. 

Cheers!

Olga

Oddly enough I just had a guest for a week who didn't shower. The smell was very disturbing but I put up with it because he was such a nice guy. The time to mention it was with the private feedback of the review, which I didn't do and I should have because it might have prevented other hosts from enduring what I did.
Robin4
Level 10
Mount Barker, Australia

@James43 I have the utmost respect for Monica and the advice she consistantly gives to this forum, and once again she was absolutely right with what she said on this occasion! But the thing that I find puzzling James is, of all the comments that suggested ways to alert others in the hosting community of the issue with this guest, hers was (in a review sense) to say nothing...... and yet that comment of hers has received by far the most 'likes' of all comments on this thread!!

I am not criticising Monica for her comment, it was spot on but, it would appear most like the idea of not offending the guest rather than offering solutions to the problem to other hosts!

@Eileen4

😄 Very witty! I like it. Maybe something in that sense like "his level of tolerance for odour signifficantly differs from ours"

Because the hygiene was not actually a problem.

But the thing is that he doesn't speak English so well and I would not like to write something that seams to be trying to circumvent his understanding. 

@Carrie1 Thank you Carrie! That seams a really good way to put it! I think that I will write something pretty much like that 🙂

Cheers! 

@Robin Thank you so much Rob for your insightful answer! You are absolutely right about people's sense of smell. I myself am many times wondering, especially when I encounter people who are unaware of their personal odour, do I smell to others by chance? Does my home have some "fragrance" that is unpleasant to others. But I've been to many homes and I know many people who actually do not smell noticeably, so I think that it might be possible that I don't smell either 😄

And thank you for advising me how to address this problem. I would not want to demonise him by any means. It would be totally unfair and I do not want to be a kind of a person who does injustice to others because of a differences in perception. I like what you suggested to write in review! It is very diplomatic and I will absolutely remember that approach, yet I am not sure whether it would be fully suitable for this guest. Yes - we've been totally pissed because of the smell and I probably wouldn't want him in my home again because of that, but he was trully modest and polite and he deserves me to be charitable. I've been thinking about it a lot since yesterday and considering all the answers people posted here and I think that I would, however, like to be more open. I think that saying it politely but straight forwardly is more respectful to him then putting it between the lines and letting hosts make constructions. 

I will leave it for a day or two still to settle in my mind. 

Nice to know you Rob!
I appreciate you taking time to answer my question 🙂 Hope to interract with you more in the future!

Many best wishes and regards from Finland!

Olga

 

 

Robin4
Level 10
Mount Barker, Australia

@Olga26  Hi again Olga, if I can just give another hint. It is not just guests personal smells that cause you grief. In some parts of the world it is common to cook spicey, fragrant food which will leave a smell that some would find unpleasant for a considerable time! Some even bring their own candles which we will remove if we discover. There are of course smokers to deal with. It is not uncommon for guests to leave behind some odourous calling card of themselves.

The way I have solved this problem is to purchase a mobile Hepa/ionizing filter which we run between the time one guest checks out and another arrives and it is amazing how this cleans the air. Not only this but, a good Hepa filter removes all dust particles from the air so, although you still have to vacuum, you very rarely have to dust again. If you contemplate a purchase of this sort, don't buy a cheap ionizing filter. These filters work through electromagnetic attraction and positively or negatively charge the air particles leaving the filter. Many study trials conclude that ionized air can be damaging to lungs. They can also create a buildup of Ozone which can lead to airway and breathing difficulties. Ionizing filters are typically in the $90 to $150 au range and will possibly be banned in the not too distant future in some countries, so, not to be recommended!

 

I filter I use is a Whirlpool Whispure AP51030K which is widely available around the world. The cost was about $310au and It cleans two good sized rooms really well, but would struggle if required to service a whole house. This filter has no detectable ionizing effect and was the best option that my research could come up with. Every guest with pollen allergies or other lung problems comments on how pleasant the cottage air seems, and how much easier breathing becomes.

I had thought about installing this filter in the roofspace and ducting it through ceiling vents as a passive filtration system but it not only removes stale and unpleasant odours, it removes nice fragrances too, so we just run it between guest visits.

 

It might be something to keep in mind for the future Olga as it would certainly solve problems like the ones you are currently experiencing....cheers....Rob