Hello Amy!
Welcome to the community!
We also offer private rooms and live in the home we offer on Airbnb. We have been Hosting since October 2016 and we think Airbnb is an excellent platform for travel and alternative lodging. It’s a great way to get that “local” experience and a wonderful way to share your home with like-minded “strangers,” at least when it comes to the sharing economy.
I'm actually rewriting this after I read you message above. Wow! I'm sorry you had such a bad experience! If you don't mind, however, I would still like to provide some advice?
As for your question about your previous guests, “is this normal?” The short answer is, the longer you host, the more you will learn, that no two guests are going to be alike. This horrible experience is few and far between. Again, I am so sorry for your experience.
When we started, our very first guests only stayed an evening and, aside from asking for a little bit of peanut butter, they didn’t really ask for much – outside of what we were already offering. Our 2nd guest ended up staying with us for about two weeks and it was great, he was very kind and would be out during the day, so we had the house to ourselves during the day. He was also very generous, he didn’t cook too many meals in our home, but when he did, he offered and sometimes we declined and he understood.
Additionally, when we cooked, we also offered to share, if we had extra. This can be a little tricky at times because we didn’t always have extra to share. We tried to be kind and offer to give him suggestions on places to go, which he kindly took to accepting and there was never an issue. Generally, as long as you are honest and communicate with your guests, things seem to work out just fine.
However, there have been instances where we had guests stay in our home for several evenings and very rarely leave the home. We have also had guests who have helped themselves to items in our refrigerator and/or cupboards, without asking.
For example,we had a guest help themselves to some expensive maple syrup without asking so, I offered him regular syrup instead. An alternative could have been inform him that the items in the fridge are not open to guests and that there is a store close by that they can purchase items they need.
We also have a “For Grabs” basket that is filled with items that previous guests have left behind that we save for future guests. I saw this at a hostel I stayed in and it goes over well with our guests. I know this is your first guests, so something great to consider for the future.
We also have a locked pantry we close at night, and when we leave, so that guests are not tempted to “help themselves” to the items within it. Unfortunately, it’s not as easy to put a lock on your fridge, but we do have a designated shelf, CLEARLY LABELED, reserved just for guests, as well as labeled baskets, for foods that don’t need refrigeration. This system seems to work pretty well.
As for guests lounging around your home all day, you need make it clear on your listing what areas are “common areas” and which areas are off limits. Your listing needs to be clear and concise, but you also want to maintain a welcoming atmosphere, or you may get limited bookings. The beautiful thing about Airbnb is that you’re pretty much in control. For example, our listing offers "a tranquil environment where they can relax and enjoying our beautiful surroundings," so we expect that some guests are going to do just that.
Additionally, we clearly indicate that the home is shared and that certain areas are open to them, and some are not. We also have signs posted in some areas that set as a reminder to some of the house rules; they are nicely written and decorative, so they don’t look too much like house rules, rather, part of the décor.
Finally, to ensure that we have a successful guest/host experience, we always try to greet our guests at the door. For some hosts, this may not be possible, however, like you, I do work from home and it’s an easy task for me to complete. When I greet our guests, I provide them with what I call a “Welcome Tour,” which provides them a tour of the house, pointing out common areas and mentioning some key house rules as I do it. I do this all before they even bring their belongings into our home. After the tour and giving them a little time to settle in, I send them a “Welcome Message” that reads,
“¡Bienvenedo! We hope you had no trouble settling in to your temporary "home" away from home. Please remember, no food and drink in the rooms and don't forget to lock the doors and turn off the lights behind you! Breakfast is available between 7:30 am to 9am. If you need something sooner, please let us know ahead of time so we can accommodate you. If there are any questions you have, or anything we failed to mention during our welcome tour, please feel free to ask. You can also refer back to our House Rules or Guidebook for further assistance. Finally, if there is something we can do to make your stay more enjoyable, please let us know! In the meantime, make yourselves at home and welcome to LOV! We hope you enjoy your stay.” To top it off, we have a framed Welcome Sign in each guest room and a little book which includes our “House Rules” and other information that guests’ might find useful. I have so much more I want to advise, but I definitely don’t want to bore you (haha), so I will end with this, you mentioned in your post that, “We're not family and they are not our guests, they are renting a room.”
rian Chesky, Airbnb CEO, stated during the Airbnb Open 2015 in Paris, Airbnb's mission is to help create a world where you can belong anywhere and where people can live a place, instead of just travelling to it. Although it’s true, they are not family, and they are renting a room, they are your guests; they are paying guests and they are Airbnb guests. Grant it, that doesn't give them the right to be rude and disrespectful to your home, and those that dwell inside it.
However, for future guests, you should also remember that, although we are offering OUR homes, we are offering it to guests, and our guests should be treated with compassion - always. You clearly care about your guests, otherwise I don’t think you would have posted this.
Don’t let these first guests discourage you from continuing to host. Add a few things to your listing, guest rooms and around your home, it will become easier. The more you host, the more you’ll learn from each experience as well. Don’t worry, you have an entire community who is willing to provide support, tips and ideas! So hang in there!