Guests longer than a month and how to handle that reservation.

[Abigail6]

Hi there. 

Ive been hosting two years and have now had my first 3 month reservation.

I typically off the following.

-shampoo and conditioner

-eggs

-yogurt 

-cheerios

my question is when you do extended stays like this are you expected to keep up with all this?

the guy goes thru a carton of eggs a week and same with the Cheerios. 

The the other issue I’m having is he is very comfortable in my home as far as leaving this around and using a new towel every shower.

He likes to cook so im throwing the trash out almost every other day if not every day and running my dishwasher almost 3 times a week.

He doesn’t pitch in ever and im starting to feel like a maid and have not experienced this feeling before.

I have 6 more weeks and would just like some insight into how other hosts handle these types of reservations. 

[Lynette57]

@Abigail0, I find it difficult to understand why you are supplying commodities to a long term guest. Do you not state that complementary commodities only apply to short term stays of up to 1 week then guest must supply their own, and the point that you are cleaning after him/her is ridiculouse. Dont allow yourself to be used in this way . sit and talk to him/her and explain that he/she will be required to supply their own foods and clean up after themselves and leave the kitchen / bathroom in the same condition they find it after each use.

If you think about what you are doing , the average maid gets paid approx $20. per hr, so therefore you are grossly underpaid.

I know I have a strong opinion, but please dont allow yourself to fall prey to some demanding, unappreciative tenant.

[Abigail6]

Hi Lynette! 

Unfortunately I did not. This is my second long term guest, first one was only 6 weeks and she did not take advantage like this guys what so ever. Difference is probably she rss Brazilian and he’s American so ya know just the entitlement with him is significant. The first girl was super helpful and I did not feel the way I do this time around.

I definitely fault myself for not setting better boundaries and the first month or so I would just clean up after him cause I just want the good review ya know? But now I’m over it. And I’ve told him I need him to clean up after himself. But I just feel like he’s kind of passive aggressive with me and I don’t know how to handle it! Haha

ive update my listings and have maxed them out at two weeks cause I definitely think 3 months is way too long and you get way comfortable 

[Christine615]

I agree with @Lynette57

Something is off about this and he's taking advantage. If he's staying in your space you need to establish ground rules right now - or you will be miserable for the next six weeks: (and change your listing so the new rules are in the house rules).

1. Guests provide their own food after the first day.
2. Complementary commodities (shampoo, etc.) will be provided to get you started. Guests are responsible for purchasing their own toiletries after that.
3. Use of the kitchen is restricted.
4. A set of towels will be provided. Guests staying for longer than a week may request fresh linens and towels on Saturday.

You are providing a room to sleep and a living room (to relax). He needs to cook and clean for himself. Reserve a section of the refrigerator for him and limit access to your personal items.

By the way - you are NOT a bed and breakfast. Our city just came up with rules forbidding us from providing food service unless we register our Airbnb as a bed and breakfast (which has a whole new slew of rules to qualify).

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

Warning: guests that stay more than 30 days "may" develop tenant rights. You'd have to formally evict him because he's no longer a short term rental after that. Tread with caution.

[Abigail6]

Hi Christine! 

Thanks for for the advice!

I would definitely say I’m at fault for not setting the correct boundaries. At this point though how do I talk to him about it?

I feel like I’m too late! 

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Abigail6

I host a lot of long-term guests (1~4 months). I supply amenties and tea/coffee and water for the entire stay but no food. (although when the guest first arrives we usually offer a simple snack and also offer (share) now and then) I also make it clear the guest is responsible for "cleaning up after themself" - I am a host, not a maid and this is my home, not a hotel.

I also provide clean towels and bedding (I handle laundry and sheet changes myself) and usually tell the guest nicely that we provide 2 bath, 3 hand towels per week, they are allowed to use the washing machine for 1 load of laundry per week which SHOULD be enough but to let us know if they need more. I also have "reminders" in the guest handbook and discreetly here and there about expectations for "using towels more than once, appropriate laundry load sizes, lights off, conserve water, clean up after yourself in common spaces, and the fact that we recycle."

I make sure I am priced to cover generous use of the amenities I provide - if guests make the effort for moderate use and are not wasteful, Henry and I show our appreciation to guests by way of inviting them to join us for meals or extra snacks we leave for the guest. If we feel the guest is trying to abuse our hospitality, we quickly establish a friendly but somewhat business-like attitude towards the guest and just provide the bare minimum of services promised.

In terms of kitchen use, I allow them one shelf for personal items and I state clearly "simple cooking (prep+cook time 30 mins or less) or heating up allowed. No smelly foods, no stir-fry/deep-fry and guest must clean up after themself after use. We provide only the basics - cooking oil, salt & pepper, ketchup, mustard, mayo.

I usually maintain a slightly formal (and stiff) approach at the begining then once Henry and I feel confident the guest won't let loose and abuse what we provide we lighten up a bit. For long(er) stays I think it is really important to communicate with guests in advance in order to manage expectations so that you DON'T have to have the uncomfortable talk about how "I am not not your maid" and "this is not a hotel" but better late than never or if you are past the half point, you could just limit yourself to a few "friendly" reminders/requests , something like " Could you please just leave dishes in the dishwasher until it is full instead of running it with only a few items 3~4 times a day? (with a smile) It's a huge waste of water and my recent water bill almost gave me a heart attack 🙂 "

It might be a good idea to make some changes to clarify house rules and amenities provided, and add a special note for guests staying longer than 1~2 weeks.

[Abigail6]

Hey!

thank you for the advice! I definitely did not set the correct boundaries so now I’m moserable hahha.

i should clarify he doesn’t run the dishwasher, I do. He just fills the whole thing up in like 3 days and then expects me to run it and empty it out. I maybe use three dishes a week since he has been here cause I feel like I’m in his space constantly.

should I just bare thru the next six weeks?

[K42]

Abigail, don't expect people to read your mind. If you want someone to know something, tell them. It's not really fair if you have expectations of your guests you're not communicating, or if you're making assumptions about possible motives like "passive aggression" that may or may not be true. Perhaps he assumes, fairly naturally, that staying at an Airbnb is more akin to staying at a hotel than being a roommate, especially with things like service fees and cleaning fees that wouldn't exist in a roommate situation. Give him at least a chance to please you before marking him down as failing in your eyes.

I personally am finding out that some hosts seem to have silent expectations of a certain level of sociability from their guests, and take it personally when they are not met to their satisfaction. I was recently chided in private feedback by a host for my communication for not being immediately available when she wanted to talk to me.

If you have expectations, communicate them. Better late than never.

[Isabel457]

I'm having a similar issue with my first long-stay guests. They are 2 weeks into their 8 weeks stay and they've been doing loads of washing and drying every single day. Pretty full loads too, up to three times a day and running each load on 2+ hours. Because previously I've only had short stay guests and no one has abused the laundry I didn't set any rules. I've now changed the house rules for future guests, but I still have 6 weeks of these guys to put up with, how should I politely get them to limit their laundry usage? Thanks!