Guests versus Roomates

[Marisha0]

This is a very New York situation- rents are impossible and spaces are tiny.  I am trying to stay in my home and close knit neighborhood community as long as possible in the face of rapid gentrification and a ruthless landlord.  I began to Air BnB one of the bedrooms in lieu of having a roommate, and occasionally Air BnB a second.  When it was just me and the guests, I guess I adjusted to a very different way of relating to my home.  I got used to walking down the street to use the bathroom at a synagogue so guests could shower as long as they liked.  I got used to adjusting my sleep schedule to loud guests and otherwise always putting the guests first.  This sounds like I'm miserable, but I'm not- I'm just sort of chill about stuff, enjoy hosting 99.9% of the time, and love it when I can interact with guests and when they truly make themselves at home.  I have never tried to engender the sort of space where guests just use their room to sleep and are gone the rest of time, although if that's what they want to do, it's fine.  

January and February are my dead season.  I have a friend who needed a temporary place- she seemed Heaven sent.  She moved into one room and we agreed to keep the Air BnB going on a limited basis- if there was a request, we would review it together and those guests would take the other bedroom.  We split the money and I would continue to do all the cleaning and communicating. Our last two guests were quiet and barely around.  She did not see one couple until they day they left.  My current guests are boisterous and loud and make use of common spaces in a way that my roommate finds disruptive.  This morning was a diaster- the guests were both in the bathroom (at the same time) for an hour and a half, giggling and treating it like a waterpark, and my roommate had to rush to a meeting without having used the bathroom.  Aside from speaking to the guests about being sensitive to the idea of a shared space, I would love any feedback or suggestions.  I don't know how to keep everyone happy.  Please don't tell me I'm an awful host or that hosting isn't for me- I feel guilty enough about this all as it is.  Thank you sooooo much.   

[Paul154]

@Marisha0

I really enjoy your tale. You're a great business woman. You use Airbnb and your ability to be flexible to live in an expensive city. Very commendable.

I am the same as you. I'm very flexible when I have guests also.

This flexibility does not extend to you new tenant, because she is not you. She is not as invested as you are in your property. Your new tenant prefers to burden you with these problems instead of controlling the bad behaviour. She could have knocked on the bathroom door, limiting the bathroom time. she also could have limited the time in the common areas.

Don't feel guilty or responsible for your new tenant's feelings - she's getting half.  

[Carol-Lee1]

Marisa... I presume you have a set of house rules. I always go over them with my guests when they arrive and I leave a copy in the space.  One of your rules should be about bathroom use.  An hour and a half in the bathroom is excessive.  You should have knocked on the door and told them to please share.  Don’t feel bad.  They are very inconsiderate guests.  You should speak up if they don’t follow your rules or act inappropriately.  Being a good host doesn’t  mean you have to take abuse.

put your foot down calmly and review the rules with them again.  If they don’t comply I would ask them to leave.

[Marsha17]

I love this answer because we are all trying so hard to please the guests, that we end up sometimes treating ourselves badly.  Set some rules, and read them to the guests when they arrive - and post a copy on the back of the bathroom door, as well as on the door of their bedroom.  And, your roommate should have spoken up.  I don't know of anyone else who would give her half the money when it's your place, and you are doing all the work! 

[Marzena4]

@Marisha0 

Some guests simply lack manners and are self-centered. That's why we, hosts, have to put those sticky notes or notices all over our places - "no smoking, no outside footwear, shared space, keep it clean, quiet hours" etc.

Make sure you include your experience with the guests in your review for them - even "better suited for a hotel environment" will do trick (to warn other hosts).

[Marsha17]

I just gave my first bad guest review.  I wish I'd seen this phrase first:  "better suited for a hotel environment" will do trick (to warn other hosts)."  I was afraid of giving them a pass and burdening some other unsuspecting host by NOT giving an honest review, so I gave an honest review.  They were definitely lying about who they were and how old they were, and I have a big mess to clean up.