How do I review a passive-agressive guest?

[Alexandra316]

Hello all,

We had a guest on Sunday night who was standoffish before checkin and downright rude after. It was a weird experience. We've hosted approximately 50 guests, and I've never encountered this before.

She contacted me ahead of time and asked if she could park her car at our property a bit early, around 11 am, so they could go on a wine tour (checkin is a 3 pm). I said no problem: we have lots of parking, and it's really no trouble. I also sent her checkin instructions, as usual, and I said if she needed any recommendations or needed assistance before or after checkout to get in contact. We usually don't give guests tours or meet them, but I always say that if they would like to meet to review the flat (or just in general), just to let me know and I'll be available. She sent back a really terse one-line message, saying, "We can show ourselves around!" Weird, and maybe should have been a red flag.

Sunday came, and they dropped their car off and went on the tour. They checked in at around 6 pm, and I didn't hear from her at all, which isn't unusual. She checked herself out the next day at around 9:30 am, which is fine. However, when she left, she didn't lock the door behind her so it was open all day without us being home. This is concerning, because we've been dealing with break and enters in our small town, mostly crimes of opportunity when people don't lock up. We don't have many rules, but locking the door when you go is clearly in the instructions we send to guests, and is just common sense, really. The flat was otherwise in fine condition: nothing unusual.

I did find a tee-shirt on a chair, so I sent her a message, saying that I hoped she'd had a good stay and enjoyed her wine tour, and I asked if she would like to have the shirt back. Well, that was apparently the straw that broke the camel's back. She didn't comment on how her stay was: she put me on blast, saying the t-shirt wasn't hers and she'd found it down the back of the sofa. We do clean the flat thoroughly between guests, but we don't pull all of the sofa cusions off typically, just vaccum everything. I responded, apologizing for the oversight, and I also asked if there had been a problem with the door lock, as the door was left unlocked. She hasn't responded, and I can't help thinking that a bad review is coming. I have perfect reviews up until now, and I'm dreading it. It just doubly bothers me, because I have absolutely no idea what I did to set her off intially. I do feel bad about the shirt, and that is absolutely on me: I need to start making sure that I take all the cusions off every time to check there is nothing there, but there was obviously tension with this guest before that.

I also don't really know how to review her. I absolutely know that I wouldn't want to host her again: she's welcome to take her passive agressive attitude elsewhere. I've noticed that a couple of her previous reviews vaugely allude to communication, but no one has given her less than 5 stars, so I'm guessing she's done similar things to other hosts and no one has called her out. At this point, I'm thinking of not reviewing and chalking it up to experiece, and hopefully she won't review me either. I'm not sure what I'd say: it was just a bad experience.

If anyone has any tips, I'd love to hear them, because I'm in a quandry and not feeling great about myself as a host right now.

[Alexandra316]

@Christopher187Oh I did! Then I feld guilty when she left me a perfect review. 

[Rebecca181]

@Alexandra316 I had a very similar experience last week, but in my case, the dreaded 'retaliatory' review materialized. I wanted to briefly share how I handled this, in case it can help others. I was not going to review this guest (she was an emotionally aggressive type, arrived demanding / claiming she had a two night stay, despite her booking confirmation from ABB and a follow up confirmation from me with the dates of her stay). She did not want a tour of our 3-story beach cottage. She presented as angry and discontent. She was a problematic communicator even before she arrived. But, her review came in, and I decided to leave a short but honest review, focusing on her apparent confusion around her reserved dates (I did not highlight her egregious behavior, however - I just stuck to the facts). I gave her a few three stars and a thumbs down.

It felt odd to leave an honest review, but also, quite satisfying (it does seem we hosts fear all kinds of repercussions should we leave an honest review, while guests appear to at times take great glee in leaving negative, even malicious comments at times, with no apparent consequences, based on what I have read here). 

Long story short, when I read her review, it was as I had feared: An obviously retaliatory review - My first and only 3-star 'Overall Experience'. There it was, at the top of the reviews, above 73 five star reviews. This did not set well with me at all. I finally reached ABB at 1 am (hold times are THAT long on the Super Host line, I have better luck early in the morning reaching somebody); I explained the situation and asked that the review  be taken down. The Case Manager had me on hold a long time researching all this, and I do believe if I had NOT left an honest review, I would not have had enough 'evidence' to get this gal's review removed. And, I am happy to say, the CM found in my favor and the review WAS removed. I had not expected this, and this one act went a long way toward restoring my positive feelings toward ABB as a partner listing with them, given how 'guest-centric' they seem, as compared to some other listing sites.

So it may be a good idea to leave an honest review - Not just for the sake of other hosts and for the community in general, but in case the worst possible scenario does play out, and you need to take it up with ABB customer support. In your case, I am so happy that you received the positive review that you deserved!

[Rosemarie9]

Rebecca, I am so glad you were successful in getting the review removed. I too had a bad week last week. My first bad review in 145. I too went through the support phone calls but am still waiting for the last case manager to decide on removing the review. I only asked because she stated falsehoods that can be traced through the messaging system and said I had not turned on heating when it was a sauna in their suite. Glad you had a good decision in your favour.