How do you handle the boyfriend/girlfriend situation?

in
London, United Kingdom
Level 10
3,567 Views

9026116-6635975-image-a-8_1548539639720.jpg

 

So, in my house rules I specify that guests cannot bring other people, regardless of if they are their family or friends, into my house without permission. I host in my own home  and this has happened occasionally, so I felt I needed to put my foot down, especially as I have different guests staying simultaneously. I can't have random strangers wondering about my house for very obvious reasons. If a guest wants to have a visitor, they need to ask in advance, but visitors cannot stay overnight, only confirmed, paid for guests. 

 

The thing is, I am trying to move towards hosting more longer-term guests (which, before we get into a long dicussion about the pros and cons of that, works very well for me). I understand that longer-term guests may want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend stay over for a night here or there. I don't mean some random pick up, but a regular squeeze. I am open to this, but the way I am handling it is this:

 

1. I need to have some official details about this person and meet them before they can stay over.

2. I need advance warning of when they are going to stay over.

3. They must not be in the house when the guest is not and they must not be given the key (unless they are officially added to the booking as a second guest).

4. The guest must pay in advance via the Airbnb system the additonal person fee for each night their 'friend' stays. They are, after all, using resources and creating more cleaning for me (I don't charge any cleaning fee).

 

Does this sound reasonable to you? What would you do?

27 Replies

Re: How do you handle the boyfriend/girlfriend situation?

in
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Level 10

@Huma0 

 

Airbnb TOS:

 

"8.3.3 You may not bring any additional individuals to an Experience, Event or other Host Service unless such an individual was added by you as an additional guest during the booking process on the Airbnb Platform."

 

Ricardo

 

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Re: How do you handle the boyfriend/girlfriend situation?

in
London, United Kingdom
Level 10

@Ricardo85 

 

Yes, I looked into this. I couldn't find any specific info on this on the Help pages. The wording of that clause is interesting. It mentions experiences, events and host services, not stays. Hosts on other threads here mentioned that you can't do this for experiences, but there's nothing to say you can't for stays.

 

That seemed a bit odd to me, so I had a look over the T&Cs of the Host Guarantee because this is the part I'm most concerned about. I do remember hearing something a while back about the host guarantee being voided if 'unauthorised guests' stayed, but what does that mean? Does it mean someone who is a guest of a guest occasionally or does it refer to Third Party bookings and extra guests who are there for the duration?

 

I might have missed something, because I kind of just skimmed over the relevant sections rather than reading everything again word for word, but it did say that you could claim for damages from the 'Reponsible Guest' or 'Invitees', providing you are able to provide details of said persons.

 

So, that is why I want details (and I mean full name, address, employment info and official ID) from the 'invitee'.

Re: How do you handle the boyfriend/girlfriend situation?

in
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Level 10

@Huma0 

 

"host services" = "stays"

 

"1.1 The Airbnb Platform is an online marketplace that enables registered users (“Members”) and certain third parties who offer services (Members and third parties who offer services are “Hosts” and the services they offer are “Host Services”) to publish such Host Services on the Airbnb Platform (“Listings”) and to communicate and transact directly with Members that are seeking to book such Host Services (Members using Host Services are “Guests”). Host Services may include the offering of vacation or other properties for use ("Accommodations"), single or multi-day activities in various categories (“Experiences”), access to unique events and locations (“Events”), and a variety of other travel and non-travel related services."

 

Ricardo

 

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Re: How do you handle the boyfriend/girlfriend situation?

in
Sayulita, Mexico
Level 10

@Huma0  It all sounds perfectly reasonable and fair to me. You might want to clarify to guests what constitutes enough advance warning for you. They could take it to mean 3 minutes. Text sent at 1 AM while they're walking up the front path.

Re: How do you handle the boyfriend/girlfriend situation?

in
London, United Kingdom
Level 10

@Sarah977 

 

Good point. With the guest I mentioned below, she either let me know a day or two, or sometimes several days before. Once or twice, she asked me on the day.

 

So, I will clarify to my new guest that advance notice means minimum 24 hours. If things seem to be going okay, I might then tell her 12 hours is fine.

Re: How do you handle the boyfriend/girlfriend situation?

in
London, United Kingdom
Level 10

@Sarah977 

 

A few months ago, I had a situation like this. I had a guest message me at 2.30am (yes, it did wake me up) asking if he could bring his 'boyfriend' over to stay that night. The reason that I put 'boyfriend' in quotations, was that he told me before going out that it was a date, so I already knew it wasn't his long-term boyfriend at all! This was also shortly after a conversation where I had told him about another guest bringing someone back unexpectedly and how that was not okay, so I was a bit surprised he even asked.

 

Clearly, I politely said no, that it was too short notice. He didn't ask again.

Re: How do you handle the boyfriend/girlfriend situation?

in
London, United Kingdom
Level 10

PS I had a situation like this with a young lady who stayed with me for three months and had her 'regular squeeze' stay over one or two nights a week. She had already been here a few weeks before he first stayed over and I had no reason not to trust her. She paid extra for those nights and all was well. 

 

The reason I am bringing this up is that I had a new reservation from a guest who instant booked and mentioned in her opening message that her 'friend' would be staying over sometimes. I had to ask her a few questions about this and was not totally comfortable given that I had not even met her yet, let alone this guy who would just be crashing over at my place who knows when. So, I gave her the criteria outlined above, which she has agreed to.

Re: How do you handle the boyfriend/girlfriend situation?

in
Lincoln, Canada
Level 10

@Huma0 It seems perfectly fair and reasonable to me. If you charge extra for extra people, you should get paid, no matter if they're there for the whole reservation or just a part of it. I also think it's reasonable to want to know who is in your home at any given time. I would hope that no guest would be bothered by that.

Re: How do you handle the boyfriend/girlfriend situation?

in
London, United Kingdom
Level 10

@Alexandra316 

 

Thank you. Let's see how it goes. I asked the guest to let me know if she agreed to all that and she responded quickly saying that she appreciated my concerns about safety and would provide all the info for her friend, make sure I got to meet him first etc. etc. She didn't say anything about the extra charge though.

 

It would make things a lot easier if it was possible to add an extra person to an Airbnb booking for part of the stay, not just all of it. Apart from the situation I'm referring to here, I often have guests who book a stay for one person but have a friend joining them for part of their stay. I can't see any way to add that extra person for just part of the stay and not all of it.

Re: How do you handle the boyfriend/girlfriend situation?

in
Somerville, MA
Level 10

@Huma0 wrote:

@Alexandra316 

 

I can't see any way to add that extra person for just part of the stay and not all of it.


You have to do the math yourself, and then either send a Special Offer, or request money from the guest.

Re: How do you handle the boyfriend/girlfriend situation?

in
Park City, UT
Level 2
I have just sent this, my 3rd or 4th email in the last 6+- weeks. no response to previous emails I also share this here. I look forward to any feed back.
 

I have sent several e-mails to AIR BnB through your website over the last month with NO RESPONSE TO ANY OF THEM??????????????

 
Concerns;
*Bed Bugs! Do you offer Insurance for this ever growing issue? This is an expensive problem to resolve should it happen!
*Unable to locate carbon copy information from one listing to the next! I am unable to locate "LAST MINUTE BOOKING DISCOUNT" tab in ALL LISTINGS at this time! I have searched and searched.
*SECURITY; When several unrelated individual ADULTS book with ONE of the individual names/accounts there is know way to know the level of security and or who the other adults actually are! This is of concern! There should be a *REQUIRED FIELD for ALL ADULTS OVER 18 THAT WILL BE ARRIVING/RESIDING IN ANOTHER PERSONS HOME. I have had TWO situations where an individual BOOKED the reservation then showed up with another adult. BOOKING FIELDS SHOULD INCLUDE A "REQUIRED" FIELD FOR #OF PEOPLE TRAVELING/RESIDING IN A PROPERTY.  
*AIR BnB TAKES AWAY UNUSED CREDITS OVER TIME IF UNABLE TO USE! CREDITS SHOULD BE USED LIKE CASH ANY TIME PERHAPS LIMITING THE AMOUNT THAT CAN BE USED IN EACH BOOKING. TO DATE I HAVE HAD CREDITS AMOUNTING OVER $200 EVAPORATE DUE TO THE FACT THAT I WAS UNABLE TO USE BY A CERTAIN DATE. WHERE DO THESE PROFITS GO? INTO CORPORATE PROFITS? IT SEEMS EXTREMELY SHORT SIGHTED THAT THESE CASH CREDITS SIMPLY GO AWAY. INDIAN GIVING COMES TO MIND. THINK ABOUT IT. THESE CREDITS WERE GIVEN FOR A REASON!
 
Steve Gibson
 
note; 
note; as previous correspondance was sent through the AirBnB web site (one has to DIG DEEP to locate this platform) I have located these e-mail addresses online and sent separately as well, unfortunately but not supprised;
 

"Delivery has failed to these recipients or groups:"

urgent@airbnb.com,  support@airbnb.com

 

Re: How do you handle the boyfriend/girlfriend situation?

in
London, United Kingdom
Level 10

@Steve823 

 

Sorry to hear you are having these problems, but this is a community forum where members (hosts and guests) discuss different subjects. It is not the way to contact Airbnb about complaints, questions or concerns because they are not going to reply to you here.

 

If I was you, I would call them as I find it gets a much quicker result than sending emails. I have also heard that contacting them via Twitter is effective, although I have never tried this myself.

 

I hope that you get your problems sorted.

Re: How do you handle the boyfriend/girlfriend situation?

in
Park City, UT
Level 2

Thank you Huma in London for your opinion. I have posted here as topic for discussion as AirBnB has been none responsive to emails as forwarded. If this is a general concern then public forum may be a way to purswade Air BnB to change the way that they communicate with US, Their Partners. Open for discussion as posted. 

Re: How do you handle the boyfriend/girlfriend situation?

in
Sayulita, Mexico
Level 10

@Steve823  I'll address one of your comments. The travel credits issued do indeed have an expiry date. Many credits offered by airlines, stores, etc, also have expiry dates- it's nothing unusual or specific to Airbnb. There is no "profit" involved, it's just a perk for good performance, so the concept that some profit goes back into Airbnb coffers is a strange notion. I've never used my credits and they have expired, but I could have used them if I wanted to- I just didn't care and didn't have the opportunity or desire to travel.  It costs Airbnb nothing to issue these travel credits, they still charge their service fees on bookings they are used for, and I'm sure that many people don't get an opportunity to use them.

 

Also, as you are new to the forum- to post a new topic, look for the "Start a new Conversation" on the upper right hand side of the Hosting or Help forum. Tacking a post in the middle of another thread that has nothing to do with your topic means that few people will see it or respond to it.

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