How to review a fellow host

[Zandra0]

Hello Community

I thought I would put this one to you to see your response.

I'm currently staying at an airbnb where I initially booked for a week, and have extended twice.  Largely, I've extended because the price suits my budget (I'm at the beginning of a four month tour) and because I'm somewhat lazy.  This room is at the cheaper end of the market and is in a family home.  The property currently has about 7 5 star reviews and is overall 5 stars.

when I arrived the room (and indeed house) was clean.  The mattress is comfortable, the pillow is exceptionally thin, it barely raises your head from the mattress.

The following issues have come up during my stay:

-1.on a mega hot day (32 degrees) I was laying on the bed semi naked.  My host (obviously thought I was out while I was in fact lying in a heat induced stupor) knocked on the door AND THEN IMMEDIATELY entered.  Of course I jumped up in shock but I feel this caused unnecessary embarrasment.  

-2.toilet paper has run out twice during my stay.  I used the last of the roll earlier this morning...now at 1.05 am (a whole day has passed) it still hasn't been replenished.  No idea what people are doing if they need a number 2. I personally stole some paper from a cafe.

-3. there's no bin anywhere in the upper level of the house.  The only bin is in the kitchen - this is a problem particularly if you need to dispose of feminine products.

-4. the listing includes kitchen access and yet on numerous occasions every surafce has been convered with used pots, pans, lego, toys etc. On one occasion the host left immediately after lunch and didn't clear anything away.  Bluebottles everywhere.  it was eventually cleared up by the evening but I have now given up totally on using the kitchen.

-5. the room is FULL of their stuff.  Nowhere to hang clothes, no hooks anywhere meaning I am left to drape wet towels and my wash cloth on the end of the bed.  In the three weeks I have been here I have lived out of my suitcase, which is on the floor.

-6.  overall the standard of tidiness is dire...there isnt ingrained dirt anywhere, but the mirror in the bathroom has had toothpaste flecks on it for about 6 days, theres always toys everywhere, any spare surface seems to be covered.

-7.  the hosts are a nice couple.  I don't want to be mean, and I'm sure they think my repeated bookings mean everything is fine when  I'm choosing to ignore a lot of stuff.  Today (i'm two weeks into my stay) I had to ask for a change of sheets...back home when I'm hosting I would change sheets for a guest weekly and would also go in to clean once a week.

So my question is, review or not review, and if I do, what do I say publicly and what remains in private feedback?  I don't want to come across as entitled but I feel there's a lot wrong here...

[Linda108]

@Zandra0  You are not only an experienced host but I have seen your responses on this forum and have been impressed how you balance information with diplomacy.  I would imagine you would be really good at that in your review.  It seems that these hosts are very casual in their host style and don't aspire to compete with more expensive places.  I would wonder what prompted all the other guests to be so generous with the ratings thus far.  

I hope you provide a public review that points out the negative issues globally - "casual host style", "relaxed cleaning standards" and then provide private feedback that commends their easy going style but point out the experience from the guest perspective.  Perhaps they have not been a guest and don't look at their space from that perspective.

I appreciate your consideration of this host and the traveler community.  Good Luck!!

[Zandra0]

Thanks - I'm fairly confident I can come up with some prose to summarise my thoughts.

The bit I'm struggling with is whether to go lower than 4 stars. I really am agonising over it because I know what a death knell it is. I've thought about giving them a 5 star overall to cut them a break but then scoring each sub section accurately as well as private feedback.

I like your line about casual hosting and I will steal that... Something like x and y were very friendly, with a casual approach to hosting although I think I would have preferred slightly more formality... Blah blah blah

I don't want to crush them or ruin their livelihood

[Lynne2]

What are reviews for?  Reviews are for the traveller, not to give the owner a false sense of quality.  I have been quite disappointed in several stays, especially since I take so much effort to see that my offerings come up to scratch.  I don't know why people receive 5* reviews when their accommodations are mediocre - perhaps they have friends booking and staying?  I always wonder.    I'm going to stick my neck out and suggest some honesty.  Do the community a favour. 

[David126]

Seems it is ok as you are still there, rating should reflect price.

[Zandra0]

Exactly @David0, it's ok. None of the things I've mentioned are deal breakers but they add to the general discomfort.

However OK seems to be 4 or 5 stars these days and I think this is possibly a 3

[Deborah1]

I don't see how from what you described, it would be a 5 star overall. I would probably go with a 4 and describe most of the specifics in the private review.

I had a similiar situation. Hosts had lots of 5 stars and I just didn't get it. I didn't want to seem picky, but far from a 5 star experience.

[Zandra0]

I don't think I would call this great either.

I don't expect the world for a cheap price but I do expect a minimum like @Eloise0 mentions

[Michelle140]

"Hosts had lots of 5 stars and I just didn't get it. I didn't want to seem picky, but far from a 5 star experience."

5 star ratings don't mean "a 5 star experience." It means that the experience matched their expectations. The way you put it, someone with a plain house who doesn't do anything real fancy has no chance of getting 5 stars. If you accurately list your home/room to curb someone's expectations towards what you are offering, and that is ok with the guest so that they make a reservation, they should completely give the host 5 stars if they were given what was advertised.

[MicheleandLouw0]

What great advice. I am learning a lot from you experienced hosts. Thank you!

[Eloise0]

Zandra,

I agree with Linda, as I have read your posts as well and know that you are capable of writing a balanced review.  I personally would try to be honest about their relaxed style and share your feelings about being sensitive about their livelihood.  I can't help but think about all the new Hosts and even more seasoned Hosts who quite honestly making things more difficult for a lot of very hard working Hosts who would never resort to this kind of laid back approach to Hosting.  I am frequently irritated at many of the Host posts that clearly  demonstrate to the world that they have done little to educate themselves about airbnb, the terms of service, much less what is expected of them after their listing is posted, and yet they want to know right away when they are getting paid, how to get in touch with airbnb, and all the common mistakes that can be made by not doing ANY preparatory work.  I want to pull my hair out by Hosts that break their own rules and airbnb's and then want someone else to fix it and NOW.  I would talk to them personally when you think it is possibly comfortable about their style and explain to them that they are in essence ruining all of our livelihoods.  I think that's only fair, after all they think it's fair to let things slide because your nice and you don't need toilet paper anyway!  I know you probably don't want to have that conversation as I wouldn't either but if you can have it, please do and then write your review according to how well your message was received.  From what I can tell there have been so many new Hosts listings offering lower rates that bookings are down for a lot of Hosts who would otherwise be getting their normal requests. The end result is if we as Hosts don't all pull together and self regulate as a way to protect or hard earned investment than according to everything I read in the Community Center, who will?  Bad Hosts are ruining it for good Hosts, it's just that simple. 

The only good that I can see in the huge number of new Hosts is that many will just fall away because they will have so many problems because of not writing clear descriptions, house rules and not complying with airbnb's TOS.  In the mean time, at what cost to the rest of the Hosts who are dedicated and at what cost to the airbnb brand name? 

Good luck and thanks for your knowledgeable input.

Eloise

[Jiw0]

About half the things you mention are things I would really hope a guest would talk to me about DURING their stay and not after in a review. Some things seem just their nature and you can't really expect an immediate improvement (kitchen being a mess, toys) but things like having a place to hang clothes, toilet paper and a lock on the door are things that personally as a host I would run out and get done right away.  Pillow too actually.

One more point:  you stay a longer time.  During longer stays it's almost inevitable that some things will begin to bug you more than during a 2 night stay.    For example, a guest stays a weekend, is mostly about town to do sightseeing, had a comfy night, checks out and rates 5 stars.   No time for specs to accumulate on the mirror, toys around.. probably means kids around too, maybe they like kids. See what I mean?

For me as a host, toilet paper is a bit of a gray area, and likely more than it should actually.  I do try to make sure there's a big pack of the stuff, but for guests who stay really a long time it's not like I go around replacing toilet paper on a daily basis.. And the same for bottled drinking water: there are supermarkets and convenience stores really nearby and personally as a guest staying at an AirBnB listing I wouldn't bug my host for toilet paper, I'd just pick up some on the way.    

And perhaps if something is not to my liking that I recognize is personal preference (like, the size and shape of a pillow) then I might just pick one up and then leave it behind for the host after my stay.

But for things like a clothes drying rack I'd be delighted when a guest tells me things like that which I missed, as a host I'd personally go get one right away.

[Helen56]

You could just ask them for more toilet paper, that is easy to fix.

As for all the other things, the untidyness, not changing sheets, mess in kitchen, etc, etc: I would also be really upset to stay in a place like that.  When I have a guest staying I thoroughly clean and tidy before they arrive, and if they're here for more than 5 days I vacuum again during their stay.  I also keep my bathroom and kitchen spotless while they are here. I can't imagine doing anything else!  After all they are paying to stay here, and so deserve a clean environment.

I wonder what the photos on the listing looked like? Did they show a clean house with  no mess and toys?  If so, then that is what you should have received.

You should definitely say in your review that the house was much messier than hoped for, and that they were rationing the loo rolls. You owe it to future guests to be honest.  Also, of course, start by saying how friendly they are or some other positive comment,  but please be honest.

[Zandra0]

@Helen0 the photos show a clean, tidy house.

[Zandra0]

@Han0&Jiw

To address some of your points specifically;

This is a live in host. I therefore cannot understand a situation where paper runs out for over 12 hours. I just whet and checked the loo and there's still none there 24 hours after it ran out. In all my time in hosting as a live in host, I have never expected guests to replenish these consumables themselves. Toilet roll is not the same as a welcome bar of chocolate where you'd expect only one during your stay. In situations where you take a whole property then fine I'd understand being given enough to get you started.

2. I didn't mention any bottles of water but I assume you were just using that as an example. Bottles of water are fine to give only one at the start though.

3. As a host I actually wouldn't expect my guests to tell me: hey your place is too untidy for me. You left the place covered in your half eaten meal and I wasn't able to cook. Nor do I expect them to say: hey can you install some books in my room and also can you clear some of your stuff out of your bedroom ? Nope; but I'd expect to be slammed in my review.

Things I would expect them to mention ; that they're too cold or too hot; that they're having trouble getting access to the property etc. Different kinda things to raise I hope you can see the difference...