How to review a weird guest situation?

[Swann1]

I'm currently having a weird situation with some guests. They are two female college student friends who I don't think closely read my listing to know that I'm a male host (I believe my profile picture clearly shows that I'm a man) and they seem to be uncomfortable with that fact.

When they're in the apartment they seclude themselves in the guest bedroom behind closed doors, and when they go to enter or exit the apartment they have rarely acknowledged my presence or offer/return polite greetings (but to make this experience weirder, the second guest who has never acknowledged my presence since she first arrived, this morning thanked me and said it was a lovely experience as she was departing a day earlier than her friend).

I'm new to hosting and I've hosted one reclusive couple before, but they at least were friendly upon entering or exiting the apartment. Otherwise I've been lucky to have guests who say "good morning", I can ask how their adventures around NYC have been going, and then be able to offer them my insider suggestions.

Anyway, what is the best way to deal with the review process for these guests? They've had good reviews in the past with all female hosts (one past review even noted how friendly and conversational they were), and I believe that they will leave the guest bedroom in good condition like my previous guests. But I would never willingly host them again, and communicating with them has been difficult because they've generally treated me like an intruder within my own home.

Really confused by this whole situation. Thanks for any advice.

[Lawrene0]

"XX and XX were quiet guests who left the room in good condition."

Give them 5 stars if they followed all the rules. Friendliness is not a category. Communication is, and so if something important could not be communicated - e.g., checkout time - then you could rate accordingly there. 

Sounds like they were uncomfortable and kicking themselves a bit for having thought @Swann1 was a woman's name. It bodes well that one of the pair thanked you, so you shouldn't suffer for it in the reviews. 

You don't have to worry about having to host them again. They are unlikely to rebook. Thank goodness, right?

[Swann1]

Thanks Lawrene, your suggestion reconfirms what I've been thinking. Although I can't give them 5 stars for the "communication" category, because they did break one of my major house rules that can result in damage to my apartment and it was difficult to communicate with them about it. But otherwise I'll rate them fairly, and I'm looking forward to my next guests!

[Sarah977]

@Swann1  It's possible that they were put off by having a male host, but it's also possible that this is just how they are- not communicative and with little social graces. Even though their reviews said they were friendly and communicative with female hosts, you never know if something completely unrelated was going on in their lives that was pre-occupying them so that being somewhat social wasn't thier priority. But they probably shouldn't be booking a room in a shared home if they can't find it in themselves to be reasonably friendly with the host.

I would assume that you're male from your profile photo, but I once had a guest whose name was Elia, which to me is a man's name, and from the profile photo it looked like it was a male maybe in his 30's with long curly hair (the photo, while clear, was taken from a weird angle, squatted down holding a basket of tomatoes and looking up into the camera). There was nothing on our messaging stream that indicated gender, so was I ever surprised when it turned out to be a woman in her mid-40s!

[Swann1]

Thanks @Sarah977. My first guests were also reclusive. One night I offered them a glass of wine when they returned to my apartment and they accepted. It was then that they admitted that the wife had a hard time speaking English, so she was nervous talking to me. But we had a great evening talking with her husband acting as the translator.

With these guests I've just been trying to let them have their space and remain polite. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Sarah977]

@Swann1  All my guests have been super friendly, hanging out a lot, sharing coffee and wine and conversation with me, except for one guy. He just basically went out to town and the beach every day, then back up to his room. He didn't use the kitchen except to get drinking water and put his beer in the fridge. He wasn't unfriendly, he just didn't have social skills- when we did talk, I could tell he was nervous, kept clearing his throat and his voice was a little shaky.

He was a fine guest, respectful and polite and left his room and bathroom clean, but I was a little relieved when his stay ended-it was only a week, but I just felt a bit uncomfortable in my own home, so I totally know how that feels.

[Elizabeth429]

@Swann1,

Dont take it personally. I had a 21 years old guest. She was somewhat inmature. I felt like a mom dealing with an irrational teenage daughter. No thanks!! I was at first pretty upset, but later realised she was just a young inexperienced woman.

 Young people sometimes dont have the ability to perceive and accurately express emotions or even understand them. 

Leave a sincere review. 

[Swann1]

@Elizabeth429 lol, I know exactly what you're talking about. Before I became a host on Airbnb, I tried having a roommate in my guest bedroom, a guy who was freshly out of college, and I constantly felt like a dad asking him to clean up after himself.

So far I've had really great experiences with guests — and any who aren't so great, they'll be gone soon enough. 

Thanks for the advice!

[Carl22]

Some people are just socially awkward, or simply don't want to make small talk with you.  They younger they are, the more likely this is  Presumably they didn't book the airbnb so they could hang out with you.  Whatever, it is what it is. 

I'm a host, and I'm quiet and keep to myself.  I had a guest once tell me they "would have been more social if I had been around."  I just thought gee, well that sucks for you I guess, but maybe I'm busy and I just want to come home and sleep.  Socializing should only happen if both parties want it.

The "hiding in their room" thing is just because they felt socially uncomfortable.  Probably not your fault.  I'm super chill and welcoming when I check my guests in, but even so I'll have guests who just aren't relaxed and feel like they have to hide in their room.  That's not a reflection of me, and it's not a reflection of you when it happens to you.