How would you rank guests?

[Robin4]

You have gone through the minefield of taking a guest reservation, tried to assess what the guest will be like,  what the likely risk is to your property or your reputation. You have taken the bull by the horns and had them stay....how do you look back on them and rate them!

I find my best guests in order are......

1/. Gay couples: They always respect the property and are keen to be pleasant. They are clean and tidy, great conversationalist and have a wonderful sense of humour. I can never have enough of them.

2/. Asian guests: They love the garden, are very respectful of their elders, they adore the dog and are always appreciative of what is offered.

3/. First time users: They don't know what to expect, but don't want to make a mistake. They always leave the place spotless and are the most likely guests to have read all the house-rules.

4/. Young couples: They have no expectations and keep to themselves. They are keen to experience the area and spend very little time in the cottage.

5/. Single working guests: They just want a bed for the night, no hassles, they consume very little of what is offered, leave early and always leave a great review.

After that things deteriorate considerably

6/. Guests from New Zealand: I find them harder to please than any other nationality. They compare everything with home. My only ever 3 star review came from a New Zealander.

7/. Couples in their 50s: They want to take over my property, use my garage for their car. They are great to talk to and very friendly but always want something I don't supply, and they always leave something behind.

8/. Guests who are hosts:  Somewhere else was always better. They know how the platform runs, use it to their advantage and are critical of whatever I do. They never read my house-rules.

9/. Single women in their 60s: They are always confused about how to work something. The library of books smells musty, there were too many mosquitos and they always break something...." Two of those plates attacked me from the cupboard"!

10/. Couples in their 70s: They compare everything with those 5 star hotels they have spent their lives using and there is no such thing as value for money. They will take whatever condiments they did not consume when the leave. They have a 'scorched earth' policy to my listing!

So, If I had to rate guests from my experience it would be as I have described. 

How does this list compare with yours?

Cheers.........Rob

[Kelly149]

@Robin4 this is funny, my back of the napkin story on this is that I don’t like reservations run by men. They’re the ones who book & then tell me which of the rules they think make sense or not. And the crumbs. Oh the crumbs left behind by the men. (Btw, this is true of young/old, traveling solo or with other people, just matters that the dude in charge is a dude)
now, behind this are the wedding/bachelorette groups of 8 women. The glitter, the feathers, the inappropriate anatomy left taped up to the walls.  They think they’re having such a great time, but it takes ages to wipe up after them & you can be sure the IG pics better turn out great. 
my favorite groups are run by a middle-aged mom (NOT the mom of toddlers, she’s too tired to care!!). Maybe she’s here with friends or her family, but either way she reads the info & picks up great before they go home. These ladies appreciate the space, say please & thank you, tidy up & never make a fuss. 

maybe I’m the fussy one, but gah I just hold my breath when a man books the space. 

[Sarah977]

As I only host one guest at a time in a single room, I have no experience with groups, but on average, my male guests leave their space a bit more messy in general than the female guests, however, nothing over-the top messy. And the guest who left the room and bathroom so immaculate that it didn't look like anyone had even stayed in there since I had cleaned it 4 days previous, even going so far as to make the bed perfectly, was a 28 year old single man.

@Kelly149

[Katrina79]

@Sarah977 More often than not I’ve trusted women to be more respectful guests. I’m not sure why, unless it speaks to some underlying psychological reasoning that I’m unaware of in myself. However, I’m finding more and more that my male guests are likely to take responsibility for any damage, quite often clean up before check out, are honest in their reason to book and last but not least...my favourite they leave less hair behind to clean up! I completely agree with @Kelly149 the confetti/glitter/tape left behind from bridal showers takes forever to clean up, it hides under the baseboards, creeps out from corners and can be outside as well. I’ll take a few crumbs in the sofa or sock fuzz on the floor over a glitter and confetti bomb anyway! 

[Max144]

I wander if he was gay Sarah977, lol when travelling i always leave place  tidy as know the work involved, and have great respect for other hosts.

[Sarah977]

No, I definitely didn't get any sense that he was gay. He had actually been married and recently split up with his wife, which he expressed some sadness about.

I don't think a guy being clean and tidy has to do with sexual orientation. I've known gays who are total slobs. More to do with upbringing. One of my ex boyfriends grew up with 4 brothers and sisters and both parents worked long hours. He said the house was always a messy disaster and he hated it. As an adult, he liked keeping things clean and tidy.

@Max144

[Anonymous]

@Sarah977  Of all the weird stereotypes about gay people, that whole "clean and tidy" thing has to be the most puzzling. Where does that even come from?

[Laura2592]

@Anonymous had a gay couple stay recently and apparently they had a hair dyeing party in one of our bathrooms. Lots of rainbow colors all over the tub. Luckily it bleached out of everything pretty easily. Gay, straight or questioning, I have noticed little difference in tidiness. Though I will say that the lesbian couples who stay with a dog tend to be meticulous about cleaning up after them in the yard. 

[Anthony223]

Greetings Robin I just read your post with great interest.  I'm a retired English guy who hosts near Lisbon, Portugal.  Well  over a thousand people have stayed with us. Here are my favourites and  a few comments.

1.  Our very best guests are young Germans, travelling for the first time.  They are polite, respectful,  clean, friendly, considerate and so far have always spoken English well.  But almost all Germans make great guests, almost always speak English well and know exactly how to behave in somebody's home.

2.  Gay guests are always great.  They keep their rooms so clean and tidy and are always friendly and respectful.

3.  We've had mostly great experiences with guests from Morocco, Algeria, Iran, UK, Ireland, Germany, Belgium, Lithuania,  Scandinavia and more countries.

4. I won't risk offending anybody by naming our worst guests but they rarely speak English or Portuguese, are grumpy and demanding , rarely write a good review and don't appreciate our efforts and friendliness.  They make a fuss about the guest registration because they don't see why their country's citizens should have to do that.  Although there have been some wonderful exceptions,  like Nathalie, Claire, Jean-Marc, Pierre and others.

We don't prefer elderly ladies travelling alone because things have often gone wrong with over-demanding guests and one guest persisted in trying to massage my aching leg.  It was too much but we hosts have to keep smiling.  We've had some bad experiences with elderly couples too, especially from certain countries. But again, we've had many excellent experiences too and made some great elderly friends.

We are not allowed to discriminate here, or in AirBNB, but sometimes I wish we could block certain  guests, due to constantly poor experiences.  But we offer great hospitality for people of all colours and countries.

So, definitely in first place is Germany.

[Robin4]

@Anthony223 

Yeah your experiences do very much mirror mine Anthony, I have over 500 stays on two platforms now so I pretty much know what to expect when I see a booking.

It doesn't pay to be too sensitive about guests though, you do have to keep them at arms length.....mind you I can think of a few that have been through here that I wouldn't have minded massaging my aching leg!!! But a host must always be very professional and stay away from personal contact.

I do agree with you regarding Germans, I have had, I think, 5 German stays and each has been a great experience, they just perhaps tend to be a bit formal and don't understand Aussie humour!

Take care Anthony the new year is in sight!

Cheers........Rob

[Ann72]

@Anthony223  #4 - Quel dommage!! 😂😂😂

[Melodie-And-John0]

As usual @Robin4 , you have done your homework and get an A on your paper!   I generally don't generalize about demographics because there are so many outliers for each that it can be a minefield to travel down those roads (keep in mind I have worked in a Liberal Arts University with a very diverse population in the middle of whitebread podunk Ruritania for nearly 3 decades).   That supplies lots of interesting stats both at work and as Inn Keep for Bearpath Lodging.   

You did so with taste, candor and humor yet captured some details most of us that have done this awhile recognize as more true than not.   I stay open minded because as the world become more Mongrelized, that which I can assume about many types of folks in the Venn Diagram of "All Humans in the world" is rapidly changing to more unpredictable.

Quick story, We have repeat guests that we have let down our hair with a bit in violation of our "dont S4!t where we eat rules" because they are always so much fun and friendly as well as being 5*+ guests every time.  We have taken to having dinner and drinks with them at least once during their stay (twice a year for giant Antique shows in our area) and its always been relatively general chatter about antiques, home improvements and their quest to move to their country property that is now just a campsite.  This year the election came up and I was getting ready to bite my tongue hard (I am a Conservative Trump Supporter) please don't beat me up, i'm anti swamp) when one of them busted out that he was a Staunch Conservative Trump Supporter that hated that C0%$#@^&#r Coumo.  The other chimed in that he was a Libertarian that wouldn't ever vote for Mother F$%^!N snake Biden if he were the only candidate running and the mayor of NYC should shoot himself now and save the city the trouble of doing t for him.   The rest of the evening was even more chatty and fun than usual.  In the end, we had more in common than not and I probably would not have guessed that from the outset of the conversation.   They will be back in a few months and we will commiserate our losses over some fine whiskey and conversation!   Stay well, JR 

[Ann72]

@Melodie-And-John0  Sorry, I like you all right but I have to say this:  Losers lose - that's what they do.  

[Ann72]

@Robin4  As a 63-year-old single lady, I know full well how picky I am, so I usually stay in hotels, where the first thing I do is ask for extra hangers 🤣🤣🤣

As a remote host it's harder for me to come up with a list like yours, but I would say that the shorter the distance the guest has traveled, the more demanding they are and the less likely to leave 5 stars in every category.

[Ann72]

@Robin4  I have to add one - because I have one right now - Crazy Rich Asians.  They are the sweetest and most fun to communicate with, but it's pretty clear they've always had people do everything for them.  This guy is so cute but he's already set off the smoke alarm (didn't read the house manual), asked to check out late, and asked to bring his dog next summer.  Along the way he's given me music recommendations, chatted about Boston hotels, told me his favorite Bluetooth speaker and how they work, mentioned his fave spa products while also lavishly praising mine, and sent me a picture of his dog.  Who was, of course, on a bed in a hotel.  In the past I've had a Japanese man traveling with his daughter who decided to make toast, possibly for the first time in his life.  He put the bread with butter and jelly on it in the toaster.  Ruined the toaster but his daughter and I had a good laugh about it and she paid for it.  They have no problem paying, make no arguments about the rules, but do ask to break or bend them, and show up and leave when they want.  Their charm and the fact that they never quibble about price makes it all okay, though.