I did not say Sorry

[Inna22]

This was a good lesson and something we should all remember.

A neighbor blocked my guests car.

The guest messaged me and I immediately dropped everything to address it. I sent a quick note to the guest that I am dealing with it asap and started to frantically search for the neighbor. I did not send a long message because I thought first priority was to get this dealt with. Few minutes later the car was moved and I sent a follow up message to let the guest know.

Issue was solved, I moved on.

The guest later told me that she felt I did not care about her because I did not apologize. While I think it is childish- it is not my fault (this has never happened before) and actions are far more important than empty words, it would have been very easy for me to say I was sorry and I just did not think of doing it.

[John47]

Why would she think you needed to apologize? You didn’t cause the problem, nor were you aware of it and didn’t address it before she complained. Seems to me like she’s a spoiled brat or such.

[Kelly149]

Hmmm, where have I read that women say sorry too often?? 
I usually try to show action, concern and respect but don’t say sorry for nature, accidents & things I’m not in control of. 
It’s an interesting thought exercise @Inna22 , I’m curious what others will say. 

[Suzanne302]

@Kelly149  Yes! It's almost like it's ingrained in us! We apologize way too much for things we shouldn't. One day I saw a list of things to say instead of "I'm sorry" and make a conscious effort to do that. Most of the alternative responses are to say, "Thank you for....." and then whatever.

@Inna22 The guest WAS out of line for complaining that you didn't say "sorry." That is ridiculous and petty!

But........As a host, I do feel a certain responsibility for making sure my guest has a wonderful experience and even though the blocked car wouldn't be my fault, I would have said something to the effect of, "I'm so sorry that happened to you! Let me see what I can do to help you." That's not acknowledging fault, but simply expressing you empathize with her for the unpleasant thing that happened beyond your control.

Also, knowing what I know about you from the CC, you seem to be a matter of fact type person so while you saw it as just doing your job, guests might interpret it differently. Sometimes I come off that way too. Not trying to be rude, just being straight and to the point, haha!

[Inna22]

@John47 @Kelly149 totally but it does not cost me anything - money, time, effort to say it and if that earns a happy customer I do not see why not. I would not expect that sorry myself and agree it is ridiculous but on a scale of ridiculous expectations by guests this one is ranked pretty low

[Kelly149]

Well then, I’m going to count that in the “bless your heart, I’m so sorry that this difficulty has befallen you and I sure hope that I’ve made you feel so much better by....” all said in your best sweet old grandma voice, then that I could get on board with

but I’m still not sure that a sorry costs you nothing, if the sorry causes someone to feel justified in being miffed then does you agreeing with them by apologizing make them less miffed or more???

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Inna22 

Why expect an apology from you????? If they wanted an apology they should have demanded one from the person who actually blocked their car. And IMO the guests should be the ones THANKING you for handling it so quickly!!!!! 

[Inna22]

@Jessica-and-Henry0 there sure must be a world out there where the guests are thankful for what we do. There are no flights to that world from Chicago. I hope there will be some after Covid. Not packing my bags yet

[Rich-and-Yan0]

@Inna22 That's a really tricky one. The fact that you responded right away to the guest and let them know you were handling it should have been sufficient proof that you "cared about her." However, we are living in times when people seem more sensitive than ever, and so perhaps she wasn't able to realise how much you were trying to help her, when it seems painfully obvious to the rest of us that you were going out of your way to resolve the problem ASAP.

Anyway, thanks for the reminder, and sorry that this had to happen. You didn't mention whether or not you got a bad review out of this one minor thing, but we sure you didn't. 

[Rita662]

Hello @Inna22, hello everyone,

I think you did well not to apologize. The car was not yours, and it was not you who created the situation.
Our responsibility as a host is to provide the guest with an excellent stay, and that is what you did. When you learned of the problem, you supported the guest and resolved the situation immediately. 5 stars !!!
One question, did the guest say thank you for your availability and efficiency?

[Inna22]

@Rita662 of course not. She felt it was all my fault

[Huma0]

@Inna22 

Well in that case, this is just an entitled guest. I know that word is thrown around rather freely, but come on... Yes, it would have cost nothing to say your sorry but you were focused on solving the problem for her - a problem you did not cause. The fact that she couldn't see this and chided you just shows that she is either immature or very, very self-absorbed.

However, I would also have been a bit taken aback by the situation and worried that I should have thought of apologising. The good thing about objectivity is that looking in from the outside, we can see that you did nothing wrong.

By the way, I have had the opposite problem with guests parking in my neighbour's driveway even though I specifically ask them not to and explain where they can park, which is right outside! Many guests have a real problem with this. They think the neighbour must be extremely unreasonable to not let a random stranger use her driveway. Unfortunately a lot of people only consider their own convenience.

[Alexandra316]

@Inna22I'm also in the camp of no apologies for this one. You're not responsible for your neighbour's behavior: getting blocked in by an inconsiderate driver could happen anytime, anywhere, and is no one's responsibility apart from the driver who blocked them in. It seems really odd and entitled that they would want an apology from you. You went above and beyond to get the car moved as quickly as possible: I think you did plenty. 

[Ann72]

@Inna22  When I was starting out as a literary agent, I would respond to clients' complaints about their editors by trying to hasten them off the phone so I could get to work making everything right.  Turns out they hated that for the same reason your guest did - they wanted to feel listened to and sympathized with.  I always just want to get on with fixing things, but I had to learn to respond with whatever emotion they seemed to want.  As @Suzanne302 said, it's not accepting blame or admitting fault to say, "I'm so sorry you've been inconvenienced like this - let me find the neighbor and get her to move her car!  I'll get right back to you."  Saying you're sorry in a situation like this is more an expression of empathy than an apology.

[Linda108]

@Inna22   I like the way you are considering this situation as a learning experience.  To a guest who is your customer, you are not a woman who is saying sorry too much nor are you apologizing for something you did.  You are the business owner and as @Ann72  and @Suzanne302  have noted, saying sorry is just part of the human response that helps someone deals with a problem.  I have seen many hosts post that they are sorry for some difficulty a guest posts about yet there is no presumption any of us are feeling responsible for another hosts behavior.

As a businsess, whenever anything goes wrong, research has shown that customers are quite forgiving if the business acknowledges the complaint and the customer's trouble.  Perhaps a private message to the guest acknowledging their feedback and expressing your appreciation for it.