I did not say Sorry

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Inna22
Level 10
Chicago, IL

I did not say Sorry

This was a good lesson and something we should all remember.

 

A neighbor blocked my guests car.

The guest messaged me and I immediately dropped everything to address it. I sent a quick note to the guest that I am dealing with it asap and started to frantically search for the neighbor. I did not send a long message because I thought first priority was to get this dealt with. Few minutes later the car was moved and I sent a follow up message to let the guest know.

Issue was solved, I moved on.

 

The guest later told me that she felt I did not care about her because I did not apologize. While I think it is childish- it is not my fault (this has never happened before) and actions are far more important than empty words, it would have been very easy for me to say I was sorry and I just did not think of doing it.

1 Best Answer

@Emilia42 I started watching it and my husband said: It's too loud. So I said: Sorry, so sorry. Tried to make it quieter and just kept saying I was sorry. And then I just started to laugh at the whole situation- so ironic that I am watching a video about not saying sorry and doing just that. Started to laugh very loudly. And did not apologize for that.

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34 Replies 34
Lisa723
Level 10
Quilcene, WA

FWIW I'm with @Linda108 ... one of the things I have learned hosting is that people will forgive just about any mishap if we respond with an attitude of "we are so sorry you have been inconvenienced," of course combined with prompt correction of the issue. Our response seems to be much more important than the actual bad event in determining how people feel about their stay.

Pat271
Level 10
Greenville, SC

Although I think this guest was petty for even bringing this up, saying “I’m sorry” is not necessarily apologizing on behalf of onesself.  Sometimes it expresses empathy, which goes a long way towards placating and creating more comeraderie with your guest.  

 

I actually *am* sorry when my guests have issues, whether or not it is my fault or within my control.

Sarah977
Level 10
Sayulita, Mexico

@Inna22  Totally absurd for the guest to be miffed that you didn't say "I'm sorry". Since you also said the guest considered it all your fault that she was inconvenienced, my prediction is that even if you had offered up an "I'm so sorry", she would be compelled to mention the inconvenience in her review.

 

It's kind of unfortunate that in English "I'm sorry" can either mean that you are apologizing for something you feel responsible for, or it can simply mean that you sympathize. 

 

And as others have pointed out, women say "I'm sorry"  far too much. As do Canadians 🙂

@Sarah977  Exactly - when you "I'm sorry" when you hear of someone's death, you're not saying you caused it.

 

LOL about Canadians - you might enjoy this:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuVsHt3rBnc&feature=youtu.be

Mark116
Level 10
Jersey City, NJ

@Inna22  I usually think its wrong to apologize for things that are not your fault because in the airbnb world that is a certain level of accepting liability, so if you apologize for crazy things that upset your guests, then airbnb may deem that  you are responsible.  However, @Ann72 has a point that sometimes what people want is you to commiserate with them and show your empathy, so you can take that on board for future interactions. 

Sarah977
Level 10
Sayulita, Mexico

I had this up on my fridge for many years. A little the worse for wear. If you can't read what it says right under the photo, it's "Oh yes, that's just fine". Note the hands.001.jpg

 

 

 

Sam397
Level 10
Reno, NV

@Inna22, I am kinda on the flip side. Even though it wasnt your fault you are the host and you should be sorry that they were blocked in. Saying your sorry isnt an admission of guilt its simply saying your sorry that it happened.

Sam397
Level 10
Reno, NV

Man I know I am just asking for a beating here but what does gender have to do with this. Women dont apologize any more then men.

And now to the point,  apologizing isnt a weakness or a sign of obedience its a person showing respect, good manners, empathy and is also a good way to smooth over a bad situation.

Its not going to hurt you if you apologize but not apologizing could so why not just apologize.

@Sam397  Studies show that women do in fact apologize more than men do.  "It seems to be that when men think they've done something wrong they do apologize just as frequently as when women think they've done something wrong. It's just that they think they've done fewer things wrong."

 

We women work at trying not to apologize too much because it undermines our effectiveness.  In this discussion, we all agree that saying sorry does not indicate we are at fault but rather expresses empathy and a wish to make a bad situation better.

 

https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/women-really-do-apologize-more-than-men-heres-surprising-reason-why-an...

 

https://www.livescience.com/8698-study-reveals-women-apologize.html#:~:text=Women%20apologize%20more...

Those studies did not include my wife-lol-jk

@Sam397 @Ann72 

It is kinda cheesy but this commercial really sums it up -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcGKxLJ4ZGI

@Emilia42  I like that!  The women are so scary when they don't say "sorry," though, aren't they?  😂

 

This one is for @Inna22's guest, as well as for @Russell49 and his wife lol:

 

https://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg

 

🤣🤣🤣🤣

@Emilia42 I started watching it and my husband said: It's too loud. So I said: Sorry, so sorry. Tried to make it quieter and just kept saying I was sorry. And then I just started to laugh at the whole situation- so ironic that I am watching a video about not saying sorry and doing just that. Started to laugh very loudly. And did not apologize for that.

@Inna22  That is HILARIOUS.  And I'm not sorry for laughing.