Long Term Guest Never Leaves House

[Linda476]

I have a long-term guest for one month.  He has been here one week so far.  I was told he was here for a teaching job.  Once he arrived he indicated he didn't have it yet.  He hasn't gone to the school because he "can't" without his vaccine.  He told me before coming here, he had an appointment to get one.  Now, he says he doesn't and hasn't ever even driven by the school yet, which is less than 2 miles from here.

HE NEVER LEAVES THE HOUSE mostly.  In 8 days he has gone out 3 times for less than an hour for more food.  He mostly stays in his room.  He meditates and chants very loudly for long periods of time at least twice a day.  His room is adjacent to another guest room.  

I'm worried about his extreme introverted nature and holing up in this house.  I only take working guests for 3 weeks to 3 months, for years now.  He seems to be COVID paranoid.  He wears a handkerchief mask, which is ineffective.  

My other guest is a physician and thankfully working long hours.  The doc won't wear a mask and I hope never has to endure the chanting.  

I'm sick of this guy camping out here 24 x 7.  Any constructive ideas of what to do.  I'd like to move him along, but obviously can't cancel without pumishment from Airbnb.

[Michael6420]

I have a current guest that is just like the one you mentioned in this post. It's driving me crazy. I'd seriously rather have a partier than this woman who has literally not left the house for ONE SECOND in 7 days. 

I've tried meditating myself and analyzing why it bothers me so much. I have to walk past the room she is in to get to my room, and it just bothers me and changing my behavior to the point where I'm being unproductive and grumpy all the time.

I'm going to to start screening guests like this from now on.

[Huma0]

@Linda476 

I've had guests who barely left the house, including before COVID, so no, I don't think what you are describing is that unusual at all, especially at the time that you wrote your post.

Sure, it is annoying, especially if you work from home, which I do, but since the pandemic, it's just something I've had to get used to. I currently have a long term guest who is here to study, but barely has any classes or college work, which is not her fault. Rather it seems the university is ripping off the students. She doesn't have friends or relatives here and was unable to return home for Easter break because of COVID (flights to her country had entirely stopped).

At first, it drove me a bit crazy that she was here all the time, and I kept asking questions to try to figure out if she was every going to go out and do stuff (other than food shopping). In the end, I just had to accept that, due to a lack of classes, she was working on other things, e.g. an online internship and her writing. Her room is large and well furnished, the kitchen large and well equipped, the living room also very large and nice. So, why would she go elsewhere to study/work?

No, it's not what I expected when she booked, but it's probably not what she expected either. Perhaps I wouldn't have accepted her if I had known she would hardly leave the house. But, unless it's specifically written in the house rules that guests need to be out of the place during the day, it's not reasonable to expect it. The guest had paid for the room and is entitled to use it for the duration of their stay. It's perfectly reasonable for them to assume that that's okay.

[Helen3]

Hello @Linda 

I appreciate you are frustrated, but you seem to be snappy in your responses to hosts you have asked to advise you on this situation, without thanking or acknowledging the advice you have received. You have several of your comments removed because of this.

In your circumstances as a host, if I didn't want a guest to stay any longer I would try and help them identify alternative properties because I think it is the right thing to do and because it makes it easier to have the conversation with the guest.

His arrangements for work have for whatever reason not come to fruition; so he's no longer a good fit. It's probably best as previously advised to update your listing to confirm you only accept longer term guests who are working or studying outside of the home.

You appear to have decided you don't want him in your home so the obvious action to take is to talk to him about a mutual cancellation. 

[Michael6420]

The reason she was being snappy is because all the responses were taking about things that she wasn't bothered by (the doctor not wearing a mask). It's like the responders were trolling her or something. I was getting annoyed reading it. 

[Pete69]

Stories like this are why I don't accept stays of longer than 6 days.

[Laura2592]

@Pete69  wise words. Yet so often unheeded. 

[Linda476]

I've generally done well with it.  I see holes in his story that I should have stopped and explored more, but was busy and knew the school and principle he talked about.  He had an agenda to hang out and seems a bit lost at the moment without a job, a car that uses a lot of gas, no permanent home, etc. Sometimes we need to snap a rubberband on our wrist and get going again.  

[Andrea4731]

@Linda476  Have you considered that you might have a squatter on your hands?

[Linda476]

At the risk of being accused of being dismissive, I am not imagining that. I have had well over 100 long term guests, staying from 3 weeks to 7 months, over a number of years.  They all left peacefully.  This guest has many positive reviews, left all those places without further ado. I have heard this has happened but I don't know the specifics.  

I don't think there is a truly serious problem here. I worry some about the wear on the room - carpet and furnishings from someone living in there 24 x 7, but he is pretty low impact on the the common areas he uses. 

Again, if something like that were to happen, it would be rare and I can't really worry on that front. As an educator looking for a job, I don't think he'd want to risk a potentially public scandal. 

I don't think he is a bad person, maybe a little odder than most. But not entirely unlikeable either.  

[Helen3]

Sounds like you operate differently in the US then here in the UK @Andrea4731  where those who lodge in your home don't have tenancy rights.

[Sarah977]

@Pete69  It really depends on your location and why guests book. I live in a touristy little beach town. Most of my guests fly here internationally on vacation, or bus from another area of Mexico. I've had lots of 2 week bookings (that's my max stay) and they aren't problematic because guests don't come all this way to hole up in their rooms all day.

They're at the beach, taking surf or sailing lessons, going for hikes, taking a yoga class, eating out, checking out all the  shops and outdoor markets. Even the ones who have to work online during their trip want to be out and about when their work is done.

They might decide to spend one day at home, reading and relaxing, and a few end up with "Montezuma's revenge" and spend a day in bed feeling crummy, but no one comes here to sit in their room all day playing video games or navel gaze.

[Michael6420]

Yep this is the answer. I'm changing my settings right now.

[Sami459]

It sounds like the only issue here is his loud chanting and excessive volume/noise levels. Kindly and politely ask him to keep his volume levels down. The fact that he doesn't leave the house often doesn't sound like a problem to me, and frankly it's none of your business. So, he's an introvert that doesn't go out much, so what? Why is that a problem? What is the magic number of "Guest must go outside X times a week" in order to be considered normal? How does this affect you? Ask him to quiet down and leave him alone.

[Sami459]

I honestly couldn't imagine keeping tabs on how often my guests leave the house. Who cares? Respect his privacy, it really is none of your business how he spends his time (so long as his volume isn't causing problems for you other guests).

[Linda476]

Well,  thanks for your input also. The forum offers an interesting buffet of opinions, preferences, and issues. I don't generally keep tabs on anyone's comings and goings. That would be exhausting. 

But I differ in opinion that it is my business. It IS a business, and it is mine. And it is my house. I believe we rate guests on communication, and vice versa. He very much miscommunicated.  Maybe lied. I doubt he sees it that way. 

I do what I do. You do what you do. Sounds like we do it differently. Isn't that why we do this...because we can do it "our way".

For me it is excessive to not go out for 10 days now. But I am getting it may not be excessive for him. We all get to choose who stays. We all get to set house rules. 

I will live through this. I haven't decided to move him on yet. (I am certain I could)  For one reason.  It may cause significant shock for him. 

He has some redeeming qualities too.