Long term guest are giving signs of bullying treatment with a smile. So confused.

[India4]

   I have just made Superhost status...yayyy celebrate! I have provided a 5 star service for now 16 guest in mostly short term stays of 1 to 5 days, for 4 months now. Now for the climatic change of this tale. 

  I have 2 month long term guests (2ppl, then 3ppl halfway through) booking from Nigeria to deliver a baby (no judgement) currently that are excessively high maintenance. These plans were not told to me prior to their booking as I require. I have already provided them with 1/2 off their stay, no charge for 3rd adult (huge master suite), only a $10 cleaning fee (TOTAL) for 1x a week touchups and linens change, 2 baskets of refillable toiletries/snacks (as pictured on my description), self changing temperature thermometer and of course they want more. I do not offer breakfast, detergent or extra rooms. They so far asked me to clean on the 2nd day after I stated that I only clean on sundays. The memo was not warmly recieved but it was Sunday so I changed the sheets, cleaned the private bathroom and so on. I did not clean the shower as there were dirty underwear hanging inside them. Why would you have that after asking me to clean?...Strike 1. They thanked me the next day and asked me to clean the fridge out in a text message...during Martin Luther King day on Monday.

  I was at work on a holiday but was asked "How do you work holidays?" letting me know that they did not read that I am a 911 operator. Also with that conclusion, are they not asking me to work on a holiday again??? I said I am off at 4pm and space was available in the fridge but would do my best. They sent me a reminder at 4:02pm to which I replied nicely that I was already on the way. I had 2 rows used and 2 rows empty in the main area...same for freezer side area. They asked could they use everything but the top and I knew what I had on my hands...a bully. I cleaned a already clean fridge and they packed it leaving me space for possibly 5 items.  Oh you bet I took pictures.

  I drafted a letter explaining what Airbnb stands by for charging cleaning fees for AFTER you check out and detailed all of the luxuries that I provide that are NOT required. I also detailed that they have extra sheets and towels for themselves in their room droors before sundays. I called Airbnb to leave a paper trail of my concerns and took more pictures.

Yes I tooted my own horn cause it's just day 3 now and I need to make myself clear. They spent 4 hours cooking and while they did clean well, left me to get fast food cause I had to be in bed by 10pm. I bought some Dr. Teals bubble bath, bath salts, Dove bodywash soap, Scott T.Paper and Dr. Teals skin oil from walmart as a gift to add with the letter as a peace offering btw (my 3rd gift basket now). They gave me the dryest smile and as I went up the steps I heard one say "cheap" to the other. I spent $34 on 5 products so help me see how that is cheap???? I have said nothing to them since and have quietly cried this morning knowing its going to be a battle of 7 more weeks. I think I may offer a maid service list at their cost if they require more than sunday tidy up but in my first letter I explained THIS IS NOT A SERVICE BUT A ROOM SHARE AS I DO NOT TAKE TIPS. My cleaning on sunday is technically free to maintain my space. That $10 is for cleaning at checkout.

  I am so annoyed because I don't see respect but angst and I was told by my Nigerian friend that because I have dreadlocks they could have judged me from the start because thats a unclean servants style there.  I am now trying to take that with a grain of salt because this is Georgia...everyone has locks...it's humid. I am worried for whats to come if they are already nasty with a smile. I've never encountered this. I have never had but one 4 star based on location...one time, gave a complimentary night stay due to a emergency that another guest had before and been by my reviews "A awesome host"!

***May I add, I understand one of them has a baby due this week which is why I haven't considered cancelling (despite my worries with her attitude) cause I have been there while pregnant but I'm worried***

[Alexandra316]

@India4 Wow, that sounds like a brutal situation. I'm so sorry to hear you're dealing with this: it sounds awful and stressful.

My take is that it's time for you to lay down the law and stop being so nice. I understand that you're trying to be a good host, but you're going to need to set clear boundaries. People treat you how you let them treat you. Stop bending your rules and giving them gifts when they clearly don't appreciate it. Lay down what your rules and services are and stick by them. Put everything in writing through the Airbnb app, so it's properly documented: it sounds like you're doing a really good job of that so far. Take pictures of issues, like you have been. I would let them know that if they're not happy with their stay, they are welcome to cancel their reservation and book elsewhere (if you can afford to lose their reservation). They sound like a nightmare, and if you don't set the rules down now, you're going to deal with it the entire time they're there.

I hope it works out for you.

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@India4

I host mostly long-term guests and my most recent guest was a bit passive-agressive. We kept our distance and maintained a business-like attitude and did not provide anything more that absolutely necessary. We did not give any gifts or go out of our way to be nice or helpful or accomodating. We made it clear (in a nice but firm tone) that we have rules and asked that the rules be respected. 

I have extensive rules and a very detailed description. 

With my recent guest, he kept leaving lights on, doing teeny tiny loads of laundry every 3~4 days (exceeding the 1 load per week limit), leaving messes in common areas (especially the kitchen), and took our guest towels to the gym or on weekend trips a couple times bringing them back ragged and stinking like rotten fish. Most of our requests about lights off and less and bigger loads of laundry were ignored with a smile (smirk). Pictures of the messes in the kitchen were taken and we asked for better clean up efforts but there was minimal improvement. Also related to towels, we specifically told the guest not to take them out of our home pointedly saying - you wouldn't take your mom's nice guest towels to the gym, would you?!?!?!?! Still, I got the impression, the guest knew not to take things too far - he could make things frustrating, but he never did anything that made us seriously consider kicking him out. 

Anyhoo, the guests need to know that you (host) will not put up with BS and you will enforce your rules, and worst case scenario if push comes to shove, you will kick them out regardless of whether there is a baby on the way or not - IMHO, with their attitude, they don't deserve any consideration or kindness. 

[India4]

Thank you. I had to think if I was overreacting or if I we were off on the wrong foot. This morning they said that they love my place and appreciate me for my efforts. I am confused because yesterday was strangely different. I hope my letter helped the understanding and possibly showed that my intelligence/patience is not to be tested. I create a beautiful space and am known for going above and beyond but I am not a clinical psychologist to deal with those mood swings. I thank you both for the warm advice. I read the forums often for cases such as these but you never think it will happen to you, especially if you prepare to amaze.

[Alexandra316]

@India4 Really glad to hear that things are going better. It sounds like you're really going above and beyond to provide the best experience possible to your guests, so I'm glad they are appreciative.

Congrats on the Superhost, BTW!

[Rene-and-Zac0]

@India4 Maybe they were just Ashy AF and really needed that skin lotion? Sometimes you can get cracks in your hands and it’s miserable. A fresh coat of skin lotion can make a world of difference! 

‘You know it’s hard out here for a Host’

[Rene-and-Zac0]

@India4 ask them if they know anything about me winning the Nigerian lottery? I’m still saving up the $3k processing fee to send to Western Union in Legos. Once I get the $3k, they are going to release $250 million directly into my bank account. How’s that for some awesome? 

Never take a long term booking in a shared space and don’t give discounts! 

If you call the front desk at the Marriott and ask for %50 off your room, are you going to get it? 

If a guest asks me for a %50 discount? At that point they can get %100 out of my face. 

Im not going for it. 

Ive noticed that travelers from 3rd world countries have this funky little attitude lately. They look around with their nose up in the air and are critical of everything. 

Recently I had some guest from Egypt stay with me for a weekend. I heard the “in my country this...”. 

I just laugh. I wonder, if your country is so great? Why are you here in America and why didn’t you stay at The Four Seasons if you are so darn important? 

The husband made some comment under his breath “people pay for this place?”. I whipped my head around and told him “I’ve been to Alexandria before, stop it”. 

I think it might be a cultural thing too. I had a very interesting conversation with a friend about how she felt that African blacks treat American Blacks differently and with racism. I was blown away by that Thought. 

Anyway, people treat you how you allow them to treat you. These are not your friends visiting from Montgomery, these are customers. 

Theres a scene from the movie roots where this “master” is talking down to a slave and then asks for a ladle of water. Well the slave spits in the water and offers that to the “master” to drink. The “master” drank the spit water and smiled. 

Guest must learn their place and not step on the Host toes. 

‘You know it’s hard out here for a Host’

[Kelly149]

@India4 this is the same method that I utilize with my children (or crabby guests) when they don't like what is on offer:

"I certainly understand if you would be happier elsewhere. XXXXX is what is available here, please let me know if that is acceptable to you or if you would prefer to make other plans."

Always said with a smile and a genuine belief that I have no problem with them taking their attitude elsewhere.

This should also be done on the ABB message thread, bc you want to be absolutely certain that if they stay that they will have no way to go back to CS for a refund. BC the only thing worse than not getting paid for a guest that doesn't stay is not getting paid for a guest who DOES stay!

And btw, about that baby on the way, are you certain that you've got multiple waterproof mattress protectors?? Way too many bodily fluids headed your way to take any chances on that.

[India4]

If her water breaks on the mattress it is hers. She never gave her reason for coming and I just purchased it in march of 2017. I approve children but you may want to mention bringing a newborn baby...before you arrive and I see your belly.

[Sandra1067]

@India4 How did the rest of the 7 weeks go? Sounds like a very difficult situation!

https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/24728624?s=51

[India4]

I gave them a letter stating that this was more of a partnership and they apologized. The young woman had her baby and the family returned home. They left a lot of extra pillows and replaced all toiletries. All I needed to do was speak up cause many don't understand this app.