Misunderstanding with Guest

Luiza5
Level 1
Glendale, CA

Misunderstanding with Guest

I have been hosting for almost 1 year now, and I typically don't have any issues with any guests, but recently I had a guest who was a little bit different. He was very cold and not friendly.

During his 4 night stay, we had invited family over 1 of the evening after a memorial service for another family member. There was 10 people in the house including myself and my husband. (no music) I messaged our guest to let him know so when he walked in he was not surprised. He didn't get my message until after he walked in and looked very upset. He called me into his room, and said by 11PM he expects no noise. So at 10:30PM, I asked everyone to go outside to the backyard. Our backyard is far away from his room, and nothing after 10:30 could be heard in doors. I went to my bedroom at 11PM, to work and I was up until about 2AM working. Mostly everyone left by midnight, except 1 person, who was working on something with my husband, he left at 1:30AM, and my husband walked him out through the living room to say goodbye. (they were whispering, from my room I could barely hear them walking towards the door)

 

This guest opens his door and starts to yell at them. I am in the room next door, and my husband and him were so quiet! I was awake and barely heard them. The next hour the guest sends me messages about how rude I am to let this happen, and continues to say that someone walked into his room at 1:30AM. I was awake and my husband was walking his friend out the door, no one opened any doors except the front door to leave. I didn't reply to him that night, but waited until early morning to let him know that no one walked into his room, or opened his bedroom door. (there is a lock on the bedroom door, but maybe he hadn't locked it) If someone were to have walked into his room, i would understand why he would be upset, but no one did. After he left I found a note that he had left about what a bad host I was and how rude I am. Throughout his entire stay, I was so friendly to him, being even friendlier than normal, cause I could tell that he was not an easy going guy, and wanted to make sure he had a good experience.

 

I will write about the experience in his review, which I have been delaying writing, wish there was something else that can be done. Anyone else have a similar experience?

 

5 Replies 5
Sean---Enrique0
Level 3
Niagara Falls, NY

That's a tough one. Some people are just really high strung and hard to please. Sucks when they choose you ! Luckily they're far and few in between
Sharon64
Level 10
Tampa, FL

That is truly a bad situation and truly unfortunate. Just mark it up to experience. He sounds like a difficult person and would have been hard to please anyway.

John212
Level 3
San Francisco, CA

Hmmm.....Ok.  You are completely within your right, to have this kind of important, late night event. Also, as you described, it was a memorial service.  That being said, there are certain guests that choose particular places to stay, for a specific reason....perhaps he chose yours because he wanted Total peace and quiet,..he may be a bit uncomfortable with lots of people. Regardless of music, 10 people in a  medium sized house, or garden , is going to create noise and a "party" type feel, regardless of it being a memorial, wake etc. They are still talking. Theyre not just sitting there in Total silence.  I imagine on your listing, you have a "quiet"time listed under your house rules.  The mistake that was made, in my opinion, was that this guest didnt have a couple of days heads up, explaining that people would be in your home Very late, for a memorial, and apologizing for it In Advance. Maybe even have given him a $25 gift certificate to a local restaurant , for the inconvenience of it.  I cant imagine you decided last second, to invite 10 people back to your house, when you have a bnb guest...you must have known at least a day or so ahead that you might have guests . And, after 10pm, in bnb terms, is considered very late. If he had done the same,......well, you get the gist.    You didnt do anything wrong....but you could have communicated it with him more clearly, and in advance.   Now, this guy IS a jerk....there is no questioning that. He is High strung, a control freak, and resentful and Not a pleasant guest.   He is the exact sort of person, who Wants total peace, and quiet, and does not want to walk into a house full of people. He probably heard footsteps outside his room at 1:30am, and talked himself into believing someone was going to open his door..you know his ear was AT the door, right?    So, for his review....be honest.  State that you had a memorial at your house for a departed friend, and that you believe the # of people unnerved your guest for some reason, and for that , you are sorry. Explain that as much as you tried to treat him well during his stay, he really didnt forgive you for that, and he was very apparent in how rudely he acted toward you.  Be kind, in stating that your sure he is a good person, but he just never got over that one night, and treated you rudely from that point on, no matter how hard you tried.     For your future reference, I would give a guest as much heads up as possible, for any large gathering. Most people are cool,...this guy was a problem waiting to happen, and you created the perfect storm for him to Shine as a Jerk.!  

Thanks John, I feel better now about writing the review. I myself am very easy going so I don't have a 'quiet' time listed, and I'm always open to whatever the guest asks for, as long as it makes sense and not too crazy. And unfortunately, I invited friends/family during the dinner which was held at a restaurant. Because we had to be out of the restaurant at a certain time, I welcomed people to our house, if they wanted to gather and talk. And I messaged this guest as soon as I myself became aware that people would be coming over. Yes, in the future I will definitely try to preplan, because not everyone likes many people around. Thanks for the tips, and I'll consider those for the future.

Gerry-And-Rashid0
Level 10
London, United Kingdom

You need to write a review - keep it very consice and maybe just say, while guest let property in good order and clean, he may be more suited to a hotel style enviornment rather than a family home