My cleaning person passed out drunk on the floor of the Airbnb

Inna22
Level 10
Chicago, IL

My cleaning person passed out drunk on the floor of the Airbnb

My dear friends, I usually bring you stories of my crazy guests. Some even say that I am a magnet for those. I take offence at that as it is false. I am not a magnet for crazy guests, I am a magnet for crazy people in general.

 

On Sunday a new cleaning person has started. She seemed to be very sharp with prior experience, asked all the correct questions. I left after a while and she texted me a few times with relevant questions. Eventually texting stopped. I assumed that she either ran out of questions or was busy cleaning. I came back about 10 minutes to guests arrival to check her work and to greet the guest. She was on all four swaying back and forth a little. I thought: she must be cleaning a spot on the floor thoroughly, how great. She then got up and continued to sway. So I thought she got up to fast and got a blood rush to her head. She then plopped back on the floor and started to feel with her hand for her glasses that were oddly somewhere in the corner of the room. So I thought she must be completely blind without her glasses. But then when she attempted to vacuum on all four, I have run out of excuses. I asked her if she happened to have a drink and she said that as a matter of fact she did. I then saw a garbage bag with an empty bottle of white wine and about 6 empty cans of hard cider, all full in the morning and left behind by previous guests. I looked around and realized almost nothing was done.

I was quickly trying to figure out if my first priority was to start cleaning or kick out the drunk cleaning person who at that point was sort of laying on the floor.

 

I decided that cleaning person comes first, particularly since she is a ticking bomb as far as barfing. As I was shoving her out the door, the guest texted me letting me know he was running late. For those of you who complain about guests being late, I can not relate. This was one of the happiest texts of my life. While I was cleaning bathrooms, changing linens and mopping floors with a speed of a cartoon character, I received a text from the cleaning woman: didn't you like my cleaning? When will I get paid? At least I know she was alive.

56 Replies 56

@Inna22 Your story (really, your sharp writing) gave me a big laugh!

 

Of course, it's also quite sad - she sounds like a pretty severe case of alcoholism, perhaps one who's just not capable of being in the same room as booze without falling off the wagon. I hope she gets the help she needs, and that you find a new cleaner quickly.

@Adrew0  I think you just described me 😉

Susan17
Level 10
Dublin, Ireland

@Inna22 

Hilarious story - brilliantly told! Laughed my way right through it, from start to finish.

 

Awesome hosting skillage in dealing with that rather tricky little situation too, by the way - loving your style..  😉

Lilian20
Level 10
Argelès-sur-Mer, France

Excellent post, had a good laugh too !

Sarah977
Level 10
Sayulita, Mexico

@Inna22 , Yes, you do seem to attract the "outre". I can sort of relate- I sometimes do as well.  Good thing you weren't just trusting her to clean and let the guests self-check in. Can you imagine the review if a guest checked in to find the cleaning person passed out drunk on the floor in a pool of barf?

Story of the day, thanks. I'll be curious to hear a follow up- what she expects to get paid for the work you had to do yourself. 

At least your life's not boring.

Pat271
Level 10
Greenville, SC

OK, Ms. Crazy Person Magnet, this is the funniest Airbnb forum post I have read to date, although I’m sure it wasn’t very funny at all to you at the time! 

 

Reading your post reminded me to put proper perspective on my hosting woes, and to strive to handle them with grace and humor. Today, you are my role model for that.  Thank you, truly.

 

(Shame on that housecleaner, though!)

 

Pat

Susan151
Level 10
Somerville, MA

@Inna22  OMG!!! This is hysterical and yet, not. I needed a laugh today, and I thank you for providing one at just the right moment. 

 

Perhaps we all need House Rules for the cleaners as well?

• You may inventory the leftover items but may not consume them before the house has been fully cleaned.

• Any food born illnesses contracted through consuming the aforementioned leftover items is not the responsibility of the host.

• All leftover alcohol must be taken off-site for consumption.

• The host is not responsible for the quality of the items left behind.

@Susan151 alcohol needs to be taken off site for consumption – that’s hilarious

Good one...ones...Seems you have a way with words too =^)

Ann72
Level 10
New York, NY

Oh, @Inna22, thank you for making my day!  The wit, the building tension, the perfect timing of each reveal - perfection!

 

As for housekeepers and the guests' leavings - I turn a blind eye and assume my hard-working housekeeper's grocery bills are considerably reduced in the busy season.  But no one could have turned a blind eye to this scenario!  Thank goodness you were there, and even better that the guest was late.  Hallelujah!

Kath9
Level 10
Albany, Australia

@Inna22 hahahahaha, great story! Thanks for bringing a smile to my face this Tuesday morning. Ah, the joys of hosting, they just never end do they? And thank goodness for late running guests!

Inna22
Level 10
Chicago, IL

Thank you all of you for your kind words! You guys are awesome. Maybe I’ll go on moth radio if my Airbnb adventure fails 🙂

Suzanne302
Level 10
Wilmington, NC

@Inna22 OMG please don’t ever stop hosting or leave this forum! Hahahaha! 

 

At least your life isn’t boring!

Sudsrung0
Level 10
Rawai, Thailand

I would be n the floor after 1 can of cider