My dear friends, I usually bring you stories of my crazy guests. Some even say that I am a magnet for those. I take offence at that as it is false. I am not a magnet for crazy guests, I am a magnet for crazy people in general.
On Sunday a new cleaning person has started. She seemed to be very sharp with prior experience, asked all the correct questions. I left after a while and she texted me a few times with relevant questions. Eventually texting stopped. I assumed that she either ran out of questions or was busy cleaning. I came back about 10 minutes to guests arrival to check her work and to greet the guest. She was on all four swaying back and forth a little. I thought: she must be cleaning a spot on the floor thoroughly, how great. She then got up and continued to sway. So I thought she got up to fast and got a blood rush to her head. She then plopped back on the floor and started to feel with her hand for her glasses that were oddly somewhere in the corner of the room. So I thought she must be completely blind without her glasses. But then when she attempted to vacuum on all four, I have run out of excuses. I asked her if she happened to have a drink and she said that as a matter of fact she did. I then saw a garbage bag with an empty bottle of white wine and about 6 empty cans of hard cider, all full in the morning and left behind by previous guests. I looked around and realized almost nothing was done.
I was quickly trying to figure out if my first priority was to start cleaning or kick out the drunk cleaning person who at that point was sort of laying on the floor.
I decided that cleaning person comes first, particularly since she is a ticking bomb as far as barfing. As I was shoving her out the door, the guest texted me letting me know he was running late. For those of you who complain about guests being late, I can not relate. This was one of the happiest texts of my life. While I was cleaning bathrooms, changing linens and mopping floors with a speed of a cartoon character, I received a text from the cleaning woman: didn't you like my cleaning? When will I get paid? At least I know she was alive.