@Ben551
Your view requires a nuanced response.
Firstly, I would shy away from making generalizations, because each system has it's potential problems and individual hosts have preferences best suited to them.
You've now been privy to a number of responses in different posts highlighting the problems with IB, not even withstanding the 3 hit cancellation policy and you're out scenario.. You've also read that it can be far more tricky in individual cases. I kindly remind you of one example from Jayesh / Lisa's prompt to the following link:
https://community.withairbnb.com/t5/Hosting/SuperHost-for-3-years-straight-InstantBook-ability-for-m...
So far you've not had to confront a clearly irrational situation, but you're almost certainly going to stumble on one, as few if any seem to avoid them.
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Secondly, I would avoid generalization because all Hosts have their preferences, and simply stated IB isn't conducive to everyone.
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Lastly, you maybe projecting your own personal difficulty, 'painful' as you stated in dealing with to-and-fro with guests in the messaging system... much rather let Airbnb deal with it, and so far each case taking very little time, 'no longer than boiling a kettle'.
Conversely, as previously mentioned, I would much rather deal with Guests tete-a-tete than involve Airbnb 3rd Party. One of the benefits is that it serves to hone communication skills! It's especially useful when wishing to decline a Reservation Request.
Here is the trick or method:
If you wish to decline an RR kindly send a message explaining why you can't accept, and ask the booker to CANCEL the RR and transfer their funds to another listing & host. In my experience the vast majority do so without a problem. A few are obstinate, or don't respond leaving the clock to run down. One reminder a few hours later sometimes suffices, sometimes not. In the latter case, yes, one has to Decline, but better decline than let the RR expire.
- Cancellations by Guests don't affect Host Ratings because it's Guests who have changed their minds and chosen to look for alternatives!
This method has worked very well for me over 6 years. I have been left to decline very-very few RRs, to the point that I don't think it affects my ratings in the slightest.
My current %s speak for themselves. The past year's record: 200 + inquiries for 5 listings
All have 100% Response Rate, (currently 'Within An Hour', and never more than 'A Few Hours').
3 of the 5 have 100% Acceptance Rate, and the other two 88% which is exactly on the green line.
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Lastly, it's worth mentioning that I don't think IB makes much difference in search facilities for a place like London. I hardly get Inquiries or RRs from random searchers, though it's hardly surprising given over 70,000 listings in the capital. -- Virtually all my inquiries come from those making specific search in the vicinity of NW3, Swiss Cottage, Camden, Belsize Park, Hampstead. And most of my Guests inform me that they used the map to narrow down their search with their primary aim to find a place they like rather than the presumed ease of IB.
Consequently, when Airbnb float their stats on my screen how IB listings get so many more viewings and bookings, I don't find them particular relevant to my circumstances. I'm not looking for Instant bookers, rather those that are compatible to my home.
ps. I don't know if you saw my response along similar lines to your 'No brainer....' in our exchanges on 'The Magic is Gone' [currently p. 18 of the post]